The Nurse And The Single Dad

“We all express ourselves in different ways, Daniel. I expect that Maddie’s expressing her confusion the only way she knows how. And I doubt that it will leave scars. Even at three, Maddie’s on her own journey, and this is simply part of it.”

“I know that, and I do understand what she’s going through, but that doesn’t make it any easier on me. And the way Abby spoils her...” He shook his head. “It gets in the way; I think Maddie believes that everyone should treat her the way her grandmother does.”

Zoey smiled. “Aren’t grandmothers supposed to spoil their grandchildren? I always thought that was a God-given right.”

“But Abby goes to the extreme.”

“Or you’re just being overly sensitive to the only way she knows how to express her love. We all do it differently, you know.”

“Maybe that’s the case, because I know she means well. And she loves Maddie. In fact, when it gets right down to it, she’s a wonderful grandmother. But Elizabeth and I talked for hours one night about our hopes and dreams for our daughter, and the way I would raise her once Elizabeth was gone, and it wasn’t by spoiling her the way Abby does. Elizabeth desperately wanted Maddie to grow up strong and independent.”

“I know you’ll take care of Maddie, but I want you to take care of yourself, too. Go on with your life, Daniel. Have fun. Be happy. Find someone to start over with. I don’t want you to be alone.”

Yes, they’d made plans together, but Elizabeth’s plan for him was so difficult.

“Well, I’m sure things will work out in your favor, given enough time. Oh, and maturity on Maddie’s part. I’m confident she will eventually grow out of it.”

Daniel sighed heavily. He knew Abby was trying to replace Elizabeth with Maddie, which was why he hadn’t said anything to her, as Abby’s loss was truly as great as his own. “I’d originally thought about putting Maddie in daycare at the hospital. But I’m a firm believer in family first, and I think Maddie can benefit from her grandmother, if her grandmother eases up a little.”

“Then talk to her, Daniel. Be honest and don’t hold back anything. That’s the only fair thing to do for everybody involved. I mean, I met Abby a few times. She’s a strong lady. Very opinionated. And she dearly loves her granddaughter, which is why I know she’ll listen to you.”

“I hope so, because I think it’s good for both of them to be together, especially now, when the wounds are still so close to the surface.”

“Like I said—have that talk. It will do you both some good.”

“I will. And thanks for the advice. I haven’t had anyone to talk to in a while and this has been...pleasant.” He smiled, and pushed back from the table. “Look, I’ve got to go. I have three residents and five med students waiting to do rounds with me this morning, then I’ve got a meeting at nine and at least a dozen patients to see, not to mention reading charts, revising orders, et cetera, et cetera...”

“I take it you’re still a hospitalist?”

“Still and always. Private practice isn’t my thing. It’s too confining. I like the variety you get working general duty in a hospital. It keeps you on your toes, and you never get bored.”

“Then private practice bores you?”

“Can’t say one way or another, since I’ve never been in one. But I can’t imagine myself contained for very long in one office. The case work may vary patient by patient but I think that overall it would be too restrictive for me. No, I like the open spaces of the hospital, where I’m free to wander at will.”

“At will?”

“OK. Maybe not at will so much as what the caseload dictates.” He chuckled. “And it dictates pretty loudly sometimes. So, do you get over to the hospital very often?”

“Not really. Even though I work for the hospital, I’m based out of an office across the street, and I only go over there maybe twice a week. And then it’s in and out as quickly as I can. Hospitals aren’t my strong suit.”

“Why not?”

“Well, you like the big, open spaces of them, while I prefer to practice my nursing in a more intimate setting.”

“Which is why you’re in home care.”

“I love home care. Home is where my patients are the happiest.”

“But hospice nursing? That’s tough.”

“And rewarding. I started doing it when I was working on my graduate degree because the hours worked with my school schedule, discovered I loved it, and I’ve never found a reason to change to any other kind of nursing specialty.”

“Like I say, tough work. Losing a patient is never easy but to lose every single one of them?”

She shrugged. “What can I say? I like giving support and care at the end. It’s important work and most people aren’t cut out to do it. I happen to be one of those who is.”

“So, we’re both happy where we are.”

“That’s a good thing, isn’t it?”

He nodded. “We ought to do coffee again sometime. It was...nice.”

“I would, but I don’t wander into this neighborhood at this time of day unless the circumstances call for it. Mrs. Barrow, the lady I’ll be seeing this morning, is an everyday after-lunch call, but I had to move her up today due to a doctor’s appointment this afternoon. And this little coffee shop was right on the way to her house. Except for today, I usually stop here around noon or one.”

“So we miss each other by roughly six hours on a normal day.”

“Apparently we do.”

“Well, maybe I’ll pop in at noon sometime.”

“And maybe I’ll be here.”

Daniel stepped away from the table. “I’ve really got to be going now, so thanks for the company. It was nice bumping into you again.”

“Thank you.”

They parted company and Daniel didn’t look back at the beauty who remained sitting at the table sipping her espresso. At least, not until he was outside. Then he looked back in through the plate-glass window and watched her for a moment. In all the weeks she’d come to his house to care for Elizabeth, he couldn’t remember ever having had a real conversation with her about anything other than Elizabeth.

Turned out Zoey Evans was nice to chat with. And so easy. He was surprised by the ease he’d felt in talking to her. In fact, he wouldn’t mind bumping into her again. It would have to be another coincidence, though, as he wasn’t at a place in his life where he could go out of the way to expand his relationship horizons. Right now, everything was too complicated. But the prospect of seeing Zoey again, well, that almost excited him. It made him feel guilty, too, because it felt like his excitement to see Zoey was betraying Elizabeth. And he didn’t want to feel that way when he was trying hard to push himself forward in his life.

* * *

Daniel Caldwell. It had been a year since she’d last seen him and what a difference that year had made. He’d been so gaunt back then, taking care of his wife and child, as well as maintaining his position at the hospital. Burning his candle at more ends than a candle had to burn. The stress of that time had certainly taken its toll on Daniel and, if it hadn’t shown in the thinness of his face, it did show in the haunting, distant look she always saw in his eyes. It was a difficult time for him and she understood the toll it had taken. She’d seen it before in the families of other patients.

Yet, Daniel was different than most. He internalized his tragedy more than many people did. At least, the ones she’d come into contact with. And he’d always made sure that everyone around him was taken care of first, before his own needs were met. Even her. Zoey recalled how he’d always put on a fresh pot of coffee for her, something that had been totally unnecessary, but welcomed. She’d told him she could make her own coffee, but he wouldn’t hear of that, insisting that every little effort helped the cause, which in Daniel’s case had been his wife.

He’d been right about that, as the more Elizabeth had progressed into her illness the more help she’d needed, which meant the less time Zoey had had to attend to the little things. Back then, she’d truly appreciated the kindness in a simple cup of coffee.

More than that, she’d appreciated Daniel’s devotion to Elizabeth. A lot of people turned away in the last moments, trying to avoid the inevitable. Oh, they might be there in the flesh, but the rest of them would tune out. Not Daniel, though. He’d stayed right in there until the end, doing whatever he could do to help his wife, and also to help her.

Zoey admired that, wishing that she could have seen what appeared to her as the ideal marriage at a different point in time. It was hard for her to imagine someone being that happy in a relationship. She’d never been, and somewhere along the line she’d quit holding out the hope that it could ever happen for her. Her own failure at marriage had really knocked her off her game. Caused her to lack confidence in herself when it came to maintaining other relationships. Truth was, she wasn’t sure she could do that again. At least, not with the same enthusiasm she’d had for her first marriage, tragedy that it was.

Zoey didn’t exclude herself from the possibility of having something more in her future, though. Not entirely. She did have a little hope left, a dying ember. But she wondered if she could approach it with the passion she knew would be needed, as the passion had been dead in her for such a long time now. Brad had seen to that.

Maybe someday she’d settle down and try it again, since life alone wasn’t that great. But not until she found all the pieces of herself that were still missing—the pieces Brad had stolen from her when their marriage had broken up. The basic hope that he’d robbed her of. The disillusionment he’d left in its place. He’d chipped away and chipped away until so much was gone. And she’d let it happen because she’d thought that was part of being in true love, naive as that might have seemed.

Yet, true love had failed her. And quickly. She’d recognized Brad for who he really was early on, and the rest of their few months together had turned into a futile effort of honing her coping skills, trying to figure out where she’d gone so wrong, falling for someone like him. How could she have been so stupid?