A Private Affair

Quinn looked at her and burst out laughing. “Yeah, no shit.” He’d forgotten how regular Max could get when she wanted to. “So, what’s it gonna be? Your call.”

“You know what I’d really like to do, Quinn?”

“What?”

“I’d like to see your new place. See what you’ve done with it.”

Quinn nodded. “Cool. Here we go.”

Chapter 7

Letting It Go

“This is n-i-c-e, Q,” Maxine said, walking through the spacious duplex. “You always did keep a fly place.” She ran her hands along the polished wood of the old piano and her chest constricted with memories. She’d gone with Lacy the day she’d picked it out for Quinn’s birthday. “I know he’ll love this,” Lacy had said. “And he’ll never do it for himself, so it’s up to me. Crazy man needs a gentle push every now and then,” she’d added, giving Maxine a you-need-to-take-this-advice-and-run-with-it look. But she hadn’t. She just couldn’t. She needed Quinn to see for himself without any pushing from her. “You still play?”

“Naw. Not really.”

“Because of Lacy?” she asked gently.

He shrugged and crossed to the other side of the living room and turned on the stereo. “Somethin’ like that,” he mumbled. He sat down on the couch and stared down at his folded hands. Maxine took a spot next to him, placing her hands atop his.

He looked at her, then turned away.

“Lacy wouldn’t want you to stop being all you could just because she’s not here to nag at you, Q.”

They looked at each other and kind of smiled reminiscent smiles.

“I keep tryin’ to tell myself that, Max. It don’t work. Every-time I even think about playin’, writin’—I just lose it.”

“It’s hard. I know it is. She was my best friend for as long as I can remember. Sometimes I get ready to pick up the phone to call her because I know she can lift my spirit, and then I remember.” She swallowed back the swell that rose to her throat. “But you gotta hang tough. You gotta.” She reached out and squeezed his hand.

They sat in silence for a long while, just easy in each other’s company. Relaxing in the memories they each had of Lacy.

“Funny thing, ya know,” Quinn said after a while. “One day last week, I stepped into this club. It was empty ’cept for the bartender, and I checked this phat baby grand, ya know,” he said, his voice building in enthusiasm. “So I just sat down and played this joint I had been savin’ to play for Lacy…” His voice trailed away.

“Yeah, Q, I’m listening. So, tell me, what happened. You just plopped yourself down there like you owned the place.” She grinned. “And what else?” She wanted to keep him talking, to let him get it out. Over the years she’d seen how quickly he could close himself off, shut down and Fort Knox people out. As if there was so much inside that he didn’t know how to share. Lacy had been the only one that could ever get to him. And Max had watched and listened on those rare occasions when she got to witness Lacy working her magic on Quinn.

“Well, this brother, Nick, he owns the joint. He heard me play, ya know—”

“And…” She grinned, hunching him in the ribs. “You’re killin’ me with the suspense.”

“He offered me a gig.”

“What!” she squealed. “Get out. Just like that.” She snapped her fingers. “You know you bad, Q. Just admit it and go head on.”

He couldn’t help but laugh. Max was funny. “I ain’t all that.”

“You a liar. We been trying to tell you for years. But seriously. You got the job. So when can I come down and hear you rock?”

He blew out a breath and stood. “You can’t, ’cause I ain’t gonna play.”

Maxine watched him, that tall, proud, handsome black man, trying to hide his pain, anger and confusion from her. She was the only person other than Lacy who knew how truly gifted Quinn was. Many a night she’d stood outside his apartment door and listened to his grab-you-by-the-heart music wafting to her ears. Without Quinn’s knowledge, Lacy had shared some of his poems and short stories. They were great—at least she thought so. But she also knew how fiercely Quinn guarded that part of his life.

“Listen, Q, I’m not the one to tell you your business, or how to feel. I just think you’re making a mistake. Not giving yourself a real chance. But that’s on you. Whatever you decide is cool with me. You know that.”

“I hear you.”

“Nuff said. Now, how much congratulations do I still have left?” she asked, grinning, that toothpick-wide gap in her teeth winking at him.

“Say what?”

“You heard me. I’m not a one-stop shopper. What else do I get to ask for?”

“Whatever your pretty little self desires.”

“I’m hungry. That club you were talking about, do they serve food?”

“Yeah.”

“Then let’s get ta steppin’.”

“Woman, you’re pressin’ your luck.” He chuckled. “Better be glad I kinda like you. Get your stuff before I change my mind.”

The band was in full swing when they arrived. Couples were on the floor, at tables, talking nose to nose and just hanging out.

“This is sweet, Q,” Maxine said, taking a look around before he helped her into her seat.

“Yeah, it’s cool,” he responded absently, wondering what he was gonna tell Nick if he saw him, or Nikita’s friend Parris. Man, what was on his brain rolling up in here? He was gonna look like a real punk. He should have taken Max someplace else. He didn’t have any business in here. But the truth was he’d wanted to come back. Had been thinking about it for days. But he figured since he stood Nick up like that, there wouldn’t be anything he could say. That’s just how it was. Man can’t be making excuses for reneging.

“Is that the piano you were talking about, Q?” Maxine asked, cutting into his thoughts.

He slanted his eyes in the direction of the baby grand and that old tingling sensation started in his fingers.

“Yeah.”

“You’d probably sound real good on that. It looks like they haven’t found anybody yet,” she hedged, peeking at him from the corner of her eye.

“Naw, it don’t.” He crossed his arms in front of him, leaned back and stretched out his long legs. Maybe he still could give it a shot. Nick seemed like an all right brother. He knew Max was right when she was talking about not giving up just because Lacy wasn’t around to nag at him. He needed to do this because deep inside it was what he loved doing. Well, it was all over but the shouting, anyway. He was supposed to have started a week ago and never showed, which shifted his thoughts to Nikita. What was Nikita thinking about it? Females like her must be used to dudes acting correct. Even though she acted as if she understood, she couldn’t.

The waitress came to their table to take their order. Max and Quinn had both loved shrimp in a basket since they were kids, and ordered one large basket each with a side order of onion rings. Just like old times.

“You sure haven’t changed.” Quinn chuckled.

“You should talk. I can only aspire to consume as much shrimp and onion rings as you have in your lifetime, my brother.”

“You don’t have no problem holdin’ your own, my sistah,” he teased.

Maxine rolled her eyes and smiled.