Everything is You

Jacqueline blinked away the past and Ray came back into focus. She forced a smile.

“Where did you just go?”

She blew out a breath and shook her shoulders a bit. “I just realized that I didn’t get to open my package.” She took his hand and pulled him to his feet. “Come, I want to show you.”

“Is it more equipment, J?” How many times had he watched her face light up when she discovered a new use for a lens or composed a picture a different way or purchased the latest waterproof camera? And how many times had he wished that he’d see the same kind of excitement in her eyes for him? It came only in flashes, nothing ever sustained. And when it did, she would shut it down, turn off the lights as if she was afraid he would see whatever it was that she was trying to hide.

“Hush, and just come on.”

They trooped into her bedroom and she went over to the box that Raymond had placed in the corner.

She duckwalked it over to the side table near the bed. “It isn’t heavy, just awkward.” Her long slender fingers quickly stripped the box of the securing tape and pulled open the flaps.

Reverently she reached inside and took out the first box that contained the jaw-dropping Canon EOS 5D Mark III. Gently she removed it from its packaging and placed it on the table. The second box contained the equally spectacular new Nikon D800. Even Raymond had to admit he was impressed. These were top-of-the-line cameras and together cost more than six thousand dollars.

The remaining contents were a camera bag, lenses and memory cards. Where many women splurged on clothes and shoes, Jacqueline poured her extra cash on photographic equipment. She said it was an investment in her business. And she was right. Her equipment alone was worth millions and she had the perfect piece ready for any assignment. Not only did she purchase the latest in photographic equipment, she was a collector of antique cameras as well. She had one room of her three-bedroom condo dedicated to her equipment.

“Impressive,” Raymond murmured in appreciation. He picked up the Nikon and held it up to his face, adjusting the lens to take in the room. The powerful lens brought the skyline of Los Angeles into sharp relief.

“Nice,” he said, drawing out the word. “Very nice.” He gingerly put the camera down and turned to Jacqueline, who was examining the Canon.

She glanced up at him. There was that smile, but he knew it wasn’t for him but for her toys.

“At some point you are going to run out of space,” he teased.

“Yeah, I’ve been thinking the same thing.” She shrugged off the prospect. Running out of space would mean either giving up some of her toys or moving. She didn’t relish either idea. She’d been approached on several occasions to donate some of her antique cameras to museums. That was always an option.

A shadow slowly crept over the room as if the lights were dimmed, followed by a bright flash of light just above the skyline. Jacqueline gasped at the boom that sounded like the bombs they’d both heard and lived through in war torn countries.

She momentarily shut her eyes against the frightening noise. Raymond hurried over to the French doors that were blown open onto the terrace. He fought against the wind and lashing rain that ferociously beat down everything in its path, to get the doors closed.

He managed to pull the doors shut but not without a cost. He turned slowly around.

Jacqueline hid her giggle behind her hand. Just that quickly he was drenched from head to foot.

“Let me get you a towel.” She scampered off to the linen closet and brought back a towel, to find Raymond pulling his T-shirt over his head and stepping out of his damp sweatpants.

There was nothing to say about Ray’s physique other than perfection. He was toned from his workouts but also from the hard and fast life that he lived. Traversing mountains, slicing his way through tropical jungles, treading across rushing rivers were all as common to him as another man who went to the office in a suit and tie.

She wished that she could say that was the only attraction, that it was only physical. It wasn’t. That’s what made this all so painfully hard. Would she ever stop wanting him, needing him? Her chest tightened while a flash of how empty her life would be without Raymond in it ran through her.

She walked up to him and tenderly stroked his face with the towel, then across his broad shoulders and down his bare chest.

Raymond clasped her by the wrists and pulled her flush against him.

“When am I ever going to stop wanting you,” he growled deep in his throat. He cupped her face in his hands and swept down to kiss her. A hungry longing roared through him the way it always did when he touched her.

Jacqueline moaned against his mouth. Her body instantly responded to the fire that he lit in her belly. She moved closer, parted her lips to let him in. She wrapped her arms around him, giving in to her need this one last time. Her heart thundered as the rain pounded against the windows.

Raymond lifted her off her feet and walked with her to her bed.

It was all so familiar yet different every time that he touched her, made her body come alive in new ways. Her skin sang beneath his fingertips and her insides vibrated with desire. His mouth was hot and wet and everywhere that it touched it set her ablaze.

When he entered her, the world came apart in a million little pieces. And with each thrust, every kiss, touch and moan the pieces came together and exploded again and again.

The sky lit up beyond them and her body swirled around him like the wicked wind and his love poured into her like the falling rain.

Jacqueline fought back her tears and held him to her, listening to the familiar beat of his heart, knowing that this was the last time.

Chapter 4

Raymond slung his carry-on over his shoulder as he stepped out of Jacqueline’s midnight blue Mercedes sports coup. She popped the trunk and he came around to the back of the car and took out his bag and laptop. Jacqueline met him on the curb. Frenzied travelers swirled around them. Traffic cops and security personnel waved cars along the busy drop off lane and warned the drivers of parked vehicles to move it along. She looked up at him, hooking her thumbs into the loops of his jeans.

“Try to stay out of trouble while I’m gone,” he said with a catch in his throat. He gave her a lopsided grin.

“What fun would that be?” she teased.

He slowly lowered his head, and brushed his lips against hers.

Jacqueline’s heart thundered and guilt welled up in her throat. She longed to tell him but she couldn’t do that to him. It was best this way. Her eyes burned. She blinked away the threat of tears.

Raymond stepped back and tenderly stroked her cheek. “See you in a week. What should I bring you from Indonesia?”

“Surprise me,” she managed over the knot in her throat. She wiped away the gloss of her lipstick from his lips with the pad of her thumb. “You’re going to miss your flight.”

He kissed her one last time before grabbing the bag. He turned toward the revolving doors.

“Ray…”

He turned. Tell him, her conscience whispered. The words stuck in her throat. “Have a safe trip,” she uttered instead.

His smile made his eyes crinkle in the corners. “I will.” And then he was gone, swallowed up in the mass of humanity.

Jacqueline stood there until a security officer told her to move or get her car towed. With a heavy heart she rounded the front of her car, slid behind the wheel and pulled off.

* * *

Jacqueline took a sip of her apple martini. The bar was crowded, but that was to be expected on a Thursday night. The live band had begun their first set when Traci walked in. She stood and waved above heads and shoulders to get Traci’s attention.

Traci Desmond was an independent documentary filmmaker. They’d met more than fifteen years ago when they were students at New York University. They had the same media arts class and they hit it off from day one. They’d been friends ever since. Traci was the sister she never had and the only person she trusted enough with her darkest secrets. Traci had been there for Jacqueline through it all, as Jacqueline was for her.

“Hey, girl.” Traci kissed Jacqueline’s cheek and slid onto the seat opposite her. “Busy night, I see.” She placed her purse on her lap. “Ray get off okay?”

Jacqueline nodded and took a sip from her drink.

“You still didn’t tell him you were going to your niece’s wedding, I take it? Or anything else of importance.”

“No.”