The Cruise of the Shining Light

I ran away–closed my door upon this wretched behavior, but could not shut its ghastly sauciness and treachery from the chambers of my memory. The habit of faith and affection was strong: I was no longer concerned for my friend John Cather, but was mightily ashamed of this failure in duty to the grotesque old hook-and-line man who had without reserve of sacrifice or strength nourished me to the lusty years of that night. As I lay in bed, I recall, downcast, self-accusing, flushed with shame, I watched the low clouds scud across the starlit sky, and I perceived, while the torn, wind-harried masses rushed restlessly on below the high, quiet firmament, that I had fallen far away from the serenity my uncle would teach me to preserve in every fortune.

“I’ll not fail again!” thinks I. “Not I!”

’Twas an experience profitable or unprofitable, as you shall presently judge.

XVIII

A LEGACY OF LOVE

Moses Shoos, I recall, carried the mail that winter. ’Twas a thankless task: a matter of thirty miles to Jimmie Tick’s Cove and thirty back again. Miles hard with peril and brutal effort–a way of sleet and slush, of toilsome paths, of a swirling mist of snow, of stinging, perverse winds or frosty calm, of lowering days and the haunted dark o’ night–to be accomplished, once a week, afoot and alone, by way of barren and wilderness and treacherous ice. ’Twas a thankless task, indeed; but ’twas a task to which the fool of Twist Tickle addressed himself with peculiar reverence.

“Mother,” says he, “always ’lowed that a man ought t’ serve his Queen: an’ mother knowed. ‘Moses,’ says she, afore she died, ‘a good man haves just got t’ serve the Queen: for an good men don’t,’ says she, ‘the poor Lady is bound t’ come t’ grief along o’ rascals. Poor, poor Lady!’ says she. ‘She’ve a wonderful lot t’ put up with along o’ stupid folk an’ rascals. I’m not knowin’ how she bears it an’ lives. ’Tis a mean, poor dunderhead, with heart an’ brains in his gullet,’ says she, ‘that wouldn’t serve the Queen. God save the Queen!’ says mother. ‘What’s a man worth,’ says she, ‘that on’y serves hisself?’”

Not much, thinks I!

“An’ mother knowed,” says Moses, softly. “Ay, Dannie,” he declared, with a proud little grin, “I bet you mother knowed!”

’Twas this exalted ideal of public service, fashioned in the wisdom of the simple by the amazing mother who bore him, that led the fool, as by the hand, from a wilderness of snow and night and bewildered visions, wherein no aspiration of his own shaped itself, to the warm hearth of Twist Tickle and the sleep of a child by night.

Once I watched him stagger, white and bent with weather and labor, from the ice of Ship’s Run, his bag on his back, to the smoking roofs of Twist Tickle, which winter had spread with a snowy blanket and tucked in with anxious hands. ’Twas a bitter day, cold, windy, aswirl with the dust of snow, blinding as a mist. I sat with Judith in the wide, deeply cushioned window-seat of my lib’ry, as my uncle called the comfortable, book-shelved room he had, by advice o’ Sir Harry, provided for my youth. John Cather was not about; and I caressed, I recall, the long, slender fingers of her hand, which unfailingly and without hesitation gave themselves to my touch. She would never deny me that, this maid; ’twas only kisses she would hold me from. She would snuggle close and warmly, when John Cather was not about, but would call her God to witness that kisses were prohibited where happiness would continue.

“’Tis not ’lowed, child,” says she.

Her cheek was so close, so round and soft and delicately tinted, that I touched my lips to it, quite unable to resist.

“I don’t mind that,” says she.

’Twas vastly encouraging.

“’Twas so brotherly,” she added.

“Judy,” I implored, “I’m in need of another o’ that same kind.”

“No, no!” she cried. “You’d never find the spot!”

’Twas with the maid, then, I sat in the window-seat of my warm room, content with the finger-tips I might touch and kiss as I would, lifted into a mood most holy and aspiring by the weight of her small head upon my shoulder, the bewildering light and mystery of her great, blue eyes, the touch and sweet excitement of her tawny hair, which brushed my cheek, as she well knew, this perverse maid! John Cather was not about, and the maid was yielding, as always in his absence; and I was very happy. ’Twas Moses we observed, all this time, doggedly staggering, upon patriotic duty, from the white, swirling weather of that unkind day, in the Queen’s service, his bag on his back.

“He’ve his mother t’ guide un,” says she.

“An’ his father?”

“’Tis said that he was lost,” she answered, “in the Year o’ the Big Shore Catch; but I’m knowin’ nothin’ about that.”

I remembered the secret Elizabeth would impart to my uncle Nicholas.

“My father,” says Judith, in challenge, “was a very good man.”

I was not disposed to deny it.

“A very good man,” she repeated, eying me sharply for any sign of incredulity.

’Twas her fancy: I might indulge it.

“I ’low, Dannie,” says she, “that he was a wonderful handsome man, though I never seed un. God’s sake!” cries she, defiantly, “he’d be hard t’ beat for looks in this here harbor.” She was positive; there was no uncertainty–’twas as though she had known him as fathers are known. And ’twas by no wish of mine, now, that our hands came close together, that her eyes were bent without reserve upon my own, that she snuggled up to my great, boyish body: ’twas wholly a wish of the maid. “’Twas blue eyes he had,” says she, “an’ yellow hair an’ big shoulders. He was a parson, Dannie,” she proceeded. “I ’low he must have been. He–he–was!” she declared; “he was a great, big parson with blue eyes.” I would not be a parson, thinks I, whatever the maid might wish. “An’ he ’lowed,” she continued, pursuing her wilful fancy, “that he’d come back, some day, an’ love my mother as she knowed he could.” We watched Moses Shoos come across the harbor ice and break open the door of the postmaster’s cottage. “But he was wrecked an’ drowned,” says Judith, “an’ ’twas an end of my mother’s hope. ’Twas on’y that,” says she, “that she would tell Skipper Nicholas on the night she died. ’Twas just the wish that he would bring me up, as he’ve fetched up you, Dannie,” she added: “jus’ that–an’ the name o’ my father. I’m not sorry,” says she, with her head on my shoulder, “that she never told the name.”

Elizabeth carried her secret into the greater mystery to which she passed; ’twas never known to us, nor to any one…

“Moses,” says I, in delight, when the news got abroad, “I hears you got the contract for the mail?”

“I is,” says he.

“An’ how in the name o’ Heaven,” I demanded, “did you manage so great a thing?”

There had been competition, I knew: there had been consideration and consultation–there had been the philosophy of the aged concerning the carrying of mail in past years, the saucy anarchy of the young with regard to the gruelling service, the chatter of wishful women upon the spending value of the return, the speculatively saccharine brooding of children–there had been much sage prophecy and infinitely knowing advice–there had been misleading and secrecy and sly devising–there had been envy, bickering, disruption of friendship–there had been a lavish waste and disregard of character–there had been all this, as I knew, and more pitiable still, in competition for the weekly four dollars of government money. ’Twas a most marvellous achievement, thinks I, that the fool of Twist Tickle had from this still weather of reason and tempest of feeling emerged with the laurel of wisdom (as my tutor said) to crown him. ’Twas fair hard to credit! I must know the device–the clever political trick–by which the wags and wiseacres of Twist Tickle had been discomfited. ’Twas with this hungry curiosity that I demanded of the fool of Twist Tickle how he had managed so great a thing.

“Eh, Moses,” says I; “how was it?”

“Dannie,” he gravely explained, “’tis very simple. My bid,” says he, impressively, “was the lowest.”

“An’ how much was that, Moses?”

“Mother,” he observed, “didn’t hold a wonderful lot with half measures.”

’Twas no answer to my question.

“She always ’lowed,” says he, with a mystifyingly elaborate wave and accent, “that doin’ was better than gettin’.”

I still must wait.

“‘Moses,’ says she,” he pursued, “‘don’t you mind the price o’ fish; you cotch un. Fish,’ says she, ‘is fish; but prices goes up an’ down, accordin’ t’ the folly o’ men. You do,’ says she; ‘an’ you leave what you gets t’ take care of itself.’ An’ I ’low,” says Moses, gently, a smile transfiguring his vacant face, “that mother knowed.”

’Twas all, it seemed to me, a defensive argument.

“An’ mother ’lowed, afore she died,” he added, looking up to a gray sky, wherein a menace of snow dwelt, “that a good man would save his Queen from rascals.”

“Ay,” I complained; “but what was the bid that won from Eli Flack?”

“The bid?”

“Ay; the bid.”

“Not expensive,” says he.

“But how much, Moses?”

“Well, Dannie,” he answered, with a sigh and a rub of his curly, yellow beard, “I ’lowed mother wouldn’t charge much for servin’ the Queen: for,” says he, enlivened, “’twould be too much like common labor t’ carry Her Majesty’s mail at a price. An’ I bid,” he added, eying me vaguely, “accordin’ t’ what I ’lowed mother would have me do in the Queen’s service. Fac’ is, Dannie,” says he, in a squall of confidence, “I ’lowed I’d carry it free!”

’Twas this contact with the world of Jimmie Tick’s Cove that embarked the fool upon an adventurous enterprise. When, in the spring of that year, the sea being open, the Quick as Wink made our harbor, the first of all the traders, Tumm, the clerk, was short-handed for a cook, having lost young Billy Rudd overboard, in a great sea, beating up in stress of weather to the impoverished settlement at Diamond Run. ’Twas Moses, the choice of necessity, he shipped in the berth of that merry, tow-headed lad of tender voice, whose songs, poor boy! would never again be lifted, o’ black nights in harbor, in the forecastle of the Quick as Wink. “Ay, Dannie,” says Moses, “you’d never think it, maybe, but I’m shipped along o’ Tumm for the French shore an’ the Labrador ports. I’ve heared tell a wonderful lot about Mother Burke, but I’ve never seed the ol’ rock; an’ I’ve heared tell a wonderful lot about Coachman’s Cove an’ Conch an’ Lancy Loop an’ the harbors o’ the straits shores, but I’ve never seed un with my own eyes, an’ I’m sort o’ wantin’ t’ know how they shapes up alongside o’ Twist Tickle. I ’low,” says he, “you don’t find many harbors in the world like Twist Tickle. Since I been travellin’ t’ Jimmie Tick’s Cove with the mail,” he continued, with a stammer and flush, like a man misled from an austere path by the flesh-pots of earth, “I’ve cotched a sinful hankerin’ t’ see the world.”