“Thank you. I – I will ask Gustav.”
Once in her seat again, she rubbed the cheek that his breath had touched. A girl was singing now – one of those faces that Gyp always admired, reddish-gold hair, blue eyes – the very antithesis of herself – and the song was “The Bens of Jura,” that strange outpouring from a heart broken by love:
“And my heart reft of its own sun – ”
Tears rose in her eyes, and the shiver of some very deep response passed through her. What was it Dad had said: “Love catches you, and you’re gone!”
She, who was the result of love like that, did not want to love!
The girl finished singing. There was little applause. Yet she had sung beautifully; and what more wonderful song in the world? Was it too tragic, too painful, too strange – not “pretty” enough? Gyp felt sorry for her. Her head ached now. She would so have liked to slip away when it was all over. But she had not the needful rudeness. She would have to go through with this evening at Rosek’s and be gay. And why not? Why this shadow over everything? But it was no new sensation, that of having entered by her own free will on a life which, for all effort, would not give her a feeling of anchorage or home. Of her own accord she had stepped into the cage!
On the way to Rosek’s rooms, she disguised from Fiorsen her headache and depression. He was in one of his boy-out-of-school moods, elated by applause, mimicking her old master, the idolatries of his worshippers, Rosek, the girl dancer’s upturned expectant lips. And he slipped his arm round Gyp in the cab, crushing her against him and sniffing at her cheek as if she had been a flower.
Rosek had the first floor of an old-time mansion in Russell Square. The smell of incense or some kindred perfume was at once about one; and, on the walls of the dark hall, electric light burned, in jars of alabaster picked up in the East. The whole place was in fact a sanctum of the collector’s spirit. Its owner had a passion for black – the walls, divans, picture-frames, even some of the tilings were black, with glimmerings of gold, ivory, and moonlight. On a round black table there stood a golden bowl filled with moonlight-coloured velvety “palm” and “honesty”; from a black wall gleamed out the ivory mask of a faun’s face; from a dark niche the little silver figure of a dancing girl. It was beautiful, but deathly. And Gyp, though excited always by anything new, keenly alive to every sort of beauty, felt a longing for air and sunlight. It was a relief to get close to one of the black-curtained windows, and see the westering sun shower warmth and light on the trees of the Square gardens. She was introduced to a Mr. and Mrs. Gallant, a dark-faced, cynical-looking man with clever, malicious eyes, and one of those large cornucopias of women with avid blue stares. The little dancer was not there. She had “gone to put on nothing,” Rosek informed them.
He took Gyp the round of his treasures, scarabs, Rops drawings, death-masks, Chinese pictures, and queer old flutes, with an air of displaying them for the first time to one who could truly appreciate. And she kept thinking of that saying, “Une technique merveilleuse.” Her instinct apprehended the refined bone-viciousness of this place, where nothing, save perhaps taste, would be sacred. It was her first glimpse into that gilt-edged bohemia, whence the generosities, the elans, the struggles of the true bohemia are as rigidly excluded as from the spheres where bishops moved. But she talked and smiled; and no one could have told that her nerves were crisping as if at contact with a corpse. While showing her those alabaster jars, her host had laid his hand softly on her wrist, and in taking it away, he let his fingers, with a touch softer than a kitten’s paw, ripple over the skin, then put them to his lips. Ah, there it was – the – the TECHNIQUE! A desperate desire to laugh seized her. And he saw it – oh, yes, he saw it! He gave her one look, passed that same hand over his smooth face, and – behold! – it showed as before, unmortified, unconscious. A deadly little man!
When they returned to the salon, as it was called, Miss Daphne Wing in a black kimono, whence her face and arms emerged more like alabaster than ever, was sitting on a divan beside Fiorsen. She rose at once and came across to Gyp.
“Oh, Mrs. Fiorsen” – why did everything she said begin with “Oh” – “isn’t this room lovely? It’s perfect for dancing. I only brought cream, and flame-colour; they go so beautifully with black.”
She threw back her kimono for Gyp to inspect her dress – a girdled cream-coloured shift, which made her ivory arms and neck seem more than ever dazzling; and her mouth opened, as if for a sugar-plum of praise. Then, lowering her voice, she murmured:
“Do you know, I’m rather afraid of Count Rosek.”
“Why?”
“Oh, I don’t know; he’s so critical, and smooth, and he comes up so quietly. I do think your husband plays wonderfully. Oh, Mrs. Fiorsen, you are beautiful, aren’t you?” Gyp laughed. “What would you like me to dance first? A waltz of Chopin’s?”
“Yes; I love Chopin.”
“Then I shall. I shall dance exactly what you like, because I do admire you, and I’m sure you’re awfully sweet. Oh, yes; you are; I can see that! And I think your husband’s awfully in love with you. I should be, if I were a man. You know, I’ve been studying five years, and I haven’t come out yet. But now Count Rosek’s going to back me, I expect it’ll be very soon. Will you come to my first night? Mother says I’ve got to be awfully careful. She only let me come this evening because you were going to be here. Would you like me to begin?”
She slid across to Rosek, and Gyp heard her say:
“Oh, Mrs. Fiorsen wants me to begin; a Chopin waltz, please. The one that goes like this.”
Rosek went to the piano, the little dancer to the centre of the room. Gyp sat down beside Fiorsen.
Rosek began playing, his eyes fixed on the girl, and his mouth loosened from compression in a sweetish smile. Miss Daphne Wing was standing with her finger-tips joined at her breast – a perfect statue of ebony and palest wax. Suddenly she flung away the black kimono. A thrill swept Gyp from head to foot. She COULD dance – that common little girl! Every movement of her round, sinuous body, of her bare limbs, had the ecstasy of natural genius, controlled by the quivering balance of a really fine training. “A dove flying!” So she was. Her face had lost its vacancy, or rather its vacancy had become divine, having that look – not lost but gone before – which dance demands. Yes, she was a gem, even if she had a common soul. Tears came up in Gyp’s eyes. It was so lovely – like a dove, when it flings itself up in the wind, breasting on up, up – wings bent back, poised. Abandonment, freedom – chastened, shaped, controlled!
When, after the dance, the girl came and sat down beside her, she squeezed her hot little hand, but the caress was for her art, not for this moist little person with the lips avid of sugar-plums.
“Oh, did you like it? I’m so glad. Shall I go and put on my flame-colour, now?”
The moment she was gone, comment broke out freely. The dark and cynical Gallant thought the girl’s dancing like a certain Napierkowska whom he had seen in Moscow, without her fire – the touch of passion would have to be supplied. She wanted love! Love! And suddenly Gyp was back in the concert-hall, listening to that other girl singing the song of a broken heart.
“Thy kiss, dear love —
Like watercress gathered fresh from cool streams.”
Love! in this abode – of fauns’ heads, deep cushions, silver dancing girls! Love! She had a sudden sense of deep abasement. What was she, herself, but just a feast for a man’s senses? Her home, what but a place like this? Miss Daphne Wing was back again. Gyp looked at her husband’s face while she was dancing. His lips! How was it that she could see that disturbance in him, and not care? If she had really loved him, to see his lips like that would have hurt her, but she might have understood perhaps, and forgiven. Now she neither quite understood nor quite forgave.
And that night, when he kissed her, she murmured:
“Would you rather it were that girl – not me?”
“That girl! I could swallow her at a draft. But you, my Gyp – I want to drink for ever!”
Was that true? IF she had loved him – how good to hear!
V
After this, Gyp was daily more and more in contact with high bohemia, that curious composite section of society which embraces the neck of music, poetry, and the drama. She was a success, but secretly she felt that she did not belong to it, nor, in truth, did Fiorsen, who was much too genuine a bohemian, and artist, and mocked at the Gallants and even the Roseks of this life, as he mocked at Winton, Aunt Rosamund, and their world. Life with him had certainly one effect on Gyp; it made her feel less and less a part of that old orthodox, well-bred world which she had known before she married him; but to which she had confessed to Winton she had never felt that she belonged, since she knew the secret of her birth. She was, in truth, much too impressionable, too avid of beauty, and perhaps too naturally critical to accept the dictates of their fact-and-form-governed routine; only, of her own accord, she would never have had initiative enough to step out of its circle. Loosened from those roots, unable to attach herself to this new soil, and not spiritually leagued with her husband, she was more and more lonely. Her only truly happy hours were those spent with Winton or at her piano or with her puppies. She was always wondering at what she had done, longing to find the deep, the sufficient reason for having done it. But the more she sought and longed, the deeper grew her bewilderment, her feeling of being in a cage. Of late, too, another and more definite uneasiness had come to her.
She spent much time in her garden, where the blossoms had all dropped, lilac was over, acacias coming into bloom, and blackbirds silent.
Winton, who, by careful experiment, had found that from half-past three to six there was little or no chance of stumbling across his son-in-law, came in nearly every day for tea and a quiet cigar on the lawn. He was sitting there with Gyp one afternoon, when Betty, who usurped the functions of parlour-maid whenever the whim moved her, brought out a card on which were printed the words, “Miss Daphne Wing.”
“Bring her out, please, Betty dear, and some fresh tea, and buttered toast – plenty of buttered toast; yes, and the chocolates, and any other sweets there are, Betty darling.”
Betty, with that expression which always came over her when she was called “darling,” withdrew across the grass, and Gyp said to her father:
“It’s the little dancer I told you of, Dad. Now you’ll see something perfect. Only, she’ll be dressed. It’s a pity.”
She was. The occasion had evidently exercised her spirit. In warm ivory, shrouded by leaf-green chiffon, with a girdle of tiny artificial leaves, and a lightly covered head encircled by other green leaves, she was somewhat like a nymph peering from a bower. If rather too arresting, it was charming, and, after all, no frock could quite disguise the beauty of her figure. She was evidently nervous.
“Oh, Mrs. Fiorsen, I thought you wouldn’t mind my coming. I did so want to see you again. Count Rosek said he thought I might. It’s all fixed for my coming-out. Oh, how do you do?” And with lips and eyes opening at Winton, she sat down in the chair he placed for her. Gyp, watching his expression, felt inclined to laugh. Dad, and Daphne Wing! And the poor girl so evidently anxious to make a good impression! Presently she asked:
“Have you been dancing at Count Rosek’s again lately?”
“Oh, yes, haven’t you – didn’t you – I – ” And she stopped.
The thought flashed through Gyp, ‘So Gustav’s been seeing her, and hasn’t told me!’ But she said at once:
“Ah, yes, of course; I forgot. When is the night of your coming-out?”
“Next Friday week. Fancy! The Octagon. Isn’t it splendid? They’ve given me such a good engagement. I do so want you and Mr. Fiorsen to come, though!”
Gyp, smiling, murmured:
“Of course we will. My father loves dancing, too; don’t you, Dad?”
Winton took his cigar from his mouth.
“When it’s good,” he said, urbanely.
“Oh, mine IS good; isn’t it, Mrs. Fiorsen? I mean, I HAVE worked – ever since I was thirteen, you know. I simply love it. I think YOU would dance beautifully, Mrs. Fiorsen. You’ve got such a perfect figure. I simply love to see you walk.”
Gyp flushed, and said: