The Forsyte Saga, Volume III. Awakening. To Let

“But suppose you’ve forgotten me,” he muttered into the noise of the train.

Fleur shook her head.

“Some other beast – ” murmured Jon.

Her foot touched his.

“No other beast,” she said, lifting “The Lady’s Mirror.”

The train stopped; two passengers got out, and one got in.

‘I shall die,’ thought Jon, ‘if we’re not alone at all.’

The train went on; and again Fleur leaned forward.

“I never let go,” she said; “do you?”

Jon shook his head vehemently.

“Never!” he said. “Will you write to me?”

“No; but you can – to my Club.”

She had a Club; she was wonderful!

“Did you pump Holly?” he muttered.

“Yes, but I got nothing. I didn’t dare pump hard.”

“What can it be?” cried Jon.

“I shall find out all right.”

A long silence followed till Fleur said: “This is Maidenhead; stand by, Jon!”

The train stopped. The remaining passenger got out. Fleur drew down her blind.

“Quick!” she cried. “Hang out! Look as much of a beast as you can.”

Jon blew his nose, and scowled; never in all his life had he scowled like that! An old lady recoiled, a young one tried the handle. It turned, but the door would not open. The train moved, the young lady darted to another carriage.

“What luck!” cried Jon. “It Jammed.”

“Yes,” said Fleur; “I was holding it.”

The train moved out, and Jon fell on his knees.

“Look out for the corridor,” she whispered; “and – quick!”

Her lips met his. And though their kiss only lasted perhaps ten seconds, Jon’s soul left his body and went so far beyond, that, when he was again sitting opposite that demure figure, he was pale as death. He heard her sigh, and the sound seemed to him the most precious he had ever heard – an exquisite declaration that he meant something to her.

“Six weeks isn’t really long,” she said; “and you can easily make it six if you keep your head out there, and never seem to think of me.”

Jon gasped.

“This is just what’s really wanted, Jon, to convince them, don’t you see? If we’re just as bad when you come back they’ll stop being ridiculous about it. Only, I’m sorry it’s not Spain; there’s a girl in a Goya picture at Madrid who’s like me, Father says. Only she isn’t – we’ve got a copy of her.”

It was to Jon like a ray of sunshine piercing through a fog. “I’ll make it Spain,” he said, “Mother won’t mind; she’s never been there. And my Father thinks a lot of Goya.”

“Oh! yes, he’s a painter – isn’t he?”

“Only water-colour,” said Jon, with honesty.

“When we come to Reading, Jon, get out first and go down to Caversham lock and wait for me. I’ll send the car home and we’ll walk by the towing-path.”

Jon seized her hand in gratitude, and they sat silent, with the world well lost, and one eye on the corridor. But the train seemed to run twice as fast now, and its sound was almost lost in that of Jon’s sighing.

“We’re getting near,” said Fleur; “the towing-path’s awfully exposed. One more! Oh! Jon, don’t forget me.”

Jon answered with his kiss. And very soon, a flushed, distracted-looking youth could have been seen – as they say – leaping from the train and hurrying along the platform, searching his pockets for his ticket.

When at last she rejoined him on the towing-path a little beyond Caversham lock he had made an effort, and regained some measure of equanimity. If they had to part, he would not make a scene! A breeze by the bright river threw the white side of the willow leaves up into the sunlight, and followed those two with its faint rustle.

“I told our chauffeur that I was train-giddy,” said Fleur. “Did you look pretty natural as you went out?”

“I don’t know. What is natural?”

“It’s natural to you to look seriously happy. When I first saw you I thought you weren’t a bit like other people.”

“Exactly what I thought when I saw you. I knew at once I should never love anybody else.”

Fleur laughed.

“We’re absurdly young. And love’s young dream is out of date, Jon. Besides, it’s awfully wasteful. Think of all the fun you might have. You haven’t begun, even; it’s a shame, really. And there’s me. I wonder!”

Confusion came on Jon’s spirit. How could she say such things just as they were going to part?

“If you feel like that,” he said, “I can’t go. I shall tell Mother that I ought to try and work. There’s always the condition of the world!”

“The condition of the world!”

Jon thrust his hands deep into his pockets.

“But there is,” he said; “think of the people starving!”

Fleur shook her head. “No, no, I never, never will make myself miserable for nothing.”

“Nothing! But there’s an awful state of things, and of course one ought to help.”