Submerged

Adam said the only thing he could say. “He loved you, Cobie. You have to believe that. He just couldn’t handle—”

“I know he loved me, okay? Or loves me. I can’t stand to think he’s gone, really gone.” She swiped at another tear. “At Christmas, he told me that he wanted to make up for lost time. That he was coming back to Mountain Cove to see me, but that he had something to take care of first. I resented him for that—it was the same mantra I had heard all my life. There was always one more thing he had to do before he could make time for me. But then Barbara sent his journal to me. Said she’d found it in his things with a note from him asking her to send it to me.

“I could hear that he loved me in the words in his journal, even though he had a terrible way of showing it. He wrote that he couldn’t take the pain of losing my mother when I was born, so he threw himself into his work. After Brad died, well, that was one more reason to stay away. Seeing me only reminded him of all he’d lost. I came to see the cave because he wrote about it. It was my way of being somewhere he’d been. My only way to get close to him and say goodbye. If he’s dead. And maybe even if he isn’t. And somehow I hope to find answers in the cave. He wrote about it as though it held some secret he wanted me to find.”

For Cobie’s sake, Adam hoped her father was still alive, but a sick feeling swirled inside that made him think otherwise. “Cobie, your father is missing. Maybe he wanted you to have the journal because he believed he was in danger and that he wouldn’t have a chance to tell you in person how much he loved you in case something happened to him. Maybe he never meant for you to actually come to the cave, to find it. Or he could have been warning you away.”

She turned to face him. The cold in her blue eyes stabbed him. “Are you suggesting that my attack today had something to do with my father, a man I haven’t seen in years?”

“Maybe there’s something hidden in the cave, and that’s why you were attacked.”

FIVE (#ulink_089da257-34d1-5054-b1ff-f78310d58274)

Cobie wore some old running shoes and layered her clothes under fleece and her rain gear. She put on gloves to protect not only her hands but the cave formations from the oils in her skin that could stop stalagmite growth. She wore a headlamp attached to a helmet and carried an extra flashlight.

They waited at the slim entrance to the cave while Ray and Mel took the lead as a safety measure. After searching the island, they had concluded that her assailant had fled. Ray had taken as evidence the rock she’d used to hit the man. Thankfully, it had fallen in a sheltered spot and the rain hadn’t washed it free of the blood. The slightest chance that the man had hidden in the cave remained, so Ray’s reasons for going along served more than one purpose—keeping him on the job as part of his investigation, protecting them and exploring the cave with his friends the way he’d already wanted to. He hadn’t asked more questions, only assured Cobie they would find her attacker.

Right. The man could have been anyone at all, out for a joy kill instead of a joyride. He could be anywhere by now.

Including right behind her again.

After Ray and Mel, Adam’s friends, Nate, Jared and Gary, went next, readying their tape, ropes, compass, a clinometer to map the cave and a first aid kit, just in case. They seemed genuinely excited to be part of mapping the cave for the Forest Service.

But Adam hung back, studying the place where she’d run from her attacker. Since Ray and Mel had already searched that area, she wasn’t sure what Adam thought he would find there. Still, it warmed her heart that he was searching. He seemed determined to keep her safe and to figure this out.

She leaned against the mossy limestone and thought back to when he and Brad had gone along with a more experienced team as novice surveyors. She hadn’t realized how much donning the gear would affect her. How the memories would rush back just by seeing Adam wearing the headlamp and helmet. Only this time, Brad wasn’t at his side.

The memories hurt and reminded her of the pain and anger she’d felt toward Adam all these years. But Adam—his heroic effort to save her today, his protectiveness afterward, and, yes, maybe even his sturdy form and thick hair framing his rugged, handsome face, made it hard to hold on to her resentment. Being with him seemed to soften all the hardness around her heart, and her grip on her negative attitude was slowly slipping. And with that, part of her wished her friends wouldn’t give him such a hard time.

Just then—as if Adam had heard her thoughts—he turned and glanced at her, then started back to them.

“Back off of Adam, okay?” she whispered to Laura.

Jared called from the cave. “Come on in, guys. Get out of the rain.”

“Go ahead, Cobie,” Laura said. “Jen and I will go next—then Adam can be last.”

Cobie feared what her friends might say to Adam if she left them alone. Maybe she should let them have their say, but Adam had saved her life. That couldn’t make up for the past—no way—but the least she could do in return was save him from her friends.

“No, you go ahead,” she said. “Then Jen.”

“What are you doing?” Laura angled her head, her silent question ringing loudly in Cobie’s ears. Why are you staying behind with Adam?

“I need to talk to him alone, okay?” It was the only answer Laura would accept.

Her friend frowned. Shrugging, she slipped into the cave. Jen followed. Cobie had forgotten how overbearing Laura could be.

When Laura and Jen had disappeared inside, Adam approached. He studied her. What was he thinking? Okay, maybe she made a mistake. Maybe she didn’t exactly want to be left alone with him.

“Is that true?” Adam lifted his hand as though he would reach out to her but then dropped it.

“Is what true?”

“You told Laura you needed to talk to me alone.”

How did she answer that? “Um...honestly, I was protecting you.”

His questioning frown shifted into that knee-weakening grin that had won her heart years ago. A mistake, she’d definitely made a mistake.

“I’m not sure what I need protection from, but I won’t reject your offer.”

“It’s not what—it’s who. I didn’t want my friends to say anything to you.”

His grin dropped. He scraped a hand over his face. “Yeah, they’re pretty brutal. I appreciate your effort, but I can’t blame your friends for their low opinion of me. They’re trying to help you.”

Cobie saw the question in Adam’s shimmering blue eyes. All the lush greenery had turned his eyes more blue today, and they asked Cobie if she had a low opinion of him. She hadn’t yet decided. Regardless, there could be no future for them. That much she knew. Funny how nothing much had changed there. When she was younger and Brad was still alive, she had had such a huge crush on Adam and he never once looked at her. She hadn’t thought there could be a future then, either.

An odd feeling swirled up inside and rolled over the dingy walls of her heart. The way Adam looked at her now, she almost got the sense that he looked at her as more than his best friend’s sister. He looked at her like a woman—a desirable woman. In all her years of dreaming about him, she’d never seen that in his eyes.

She gasped for air. “I’d better go.” She made for the cave.

“Hold on, Cobie.” Adam adjusted her helmet. Squatted enough to be at eye level while he did it. Why did his nearness make her insides shaky like this? She was a traitor to let the man she blamed for her brother’s death affect her this way.

“What are you doing?” She moved to step away.

“Wait.” He messed with the headlamp. Then he flashed her his triple-threat grin. Oh, God, help me. I don’t know if I can do this.

Cobie swallowed. “I can take care of myself.” She stepped back from him, but not nearly far enough.

“Of course you can.” Adam crossed his arms. “Just like I can protect myself from your friends, but I’m not opposed to letting you fight for me.”

Cobie crushed down the fierce need to express her frustration. He turned everything into playful banter, and she didn’t want to play games with him. The events of today were certainly not unfolding the way she’d expected.

Waves crashed against the rocky edges of the island, reminding her that somewhere near was the bluff she’d jumped from. Part of her wanted to back out of exploring the cave.

“Cobie, neither of us planned this today. I know being here with me, going into this cave, brings back a lot of unwanted memories. But maybe there are some good ones, too.” Adam closed the distance she’d just created. “I—”

Laura slid out of the small crack in the limestone.

“You guys coming or what?” Though half her face was covered in mud, Cobie could see that Laura’s eyes held concern. “Cobie? Are you sure you want to do this?”

Laura and Jen had both taken time off from their jobs and families and traveled to meet her. She’d asked a lot of them, especially since she hadn’t had much contact with them since Brad’s death.

“Yes. I’m sure.” Cobie glanced at Adam. “I need to finish this while I’m here. And after it’s over, I need to move on with my life.”

Something flashed in Adam’s eyes. Regret? Hurt? Cobie wasn’t sure. When he didn’t say anything, Cobie followed Laura into the cave—a dark and muddy chute that she slid down until it delivered her into a cavern. When she arrived, she was grateful for the multiple headlamps spread out like streetlights.

Cobie climbed to her feet and carefully stepped out of the slippery stream that continued twisting through the cave. Her headlamp lit up the limestone walls marbled with white and black and gray. She wanted to lay her hand over them but didn’t want to cause any damage. The limestone was fragile enough she could easily chip a small piece off with one touch. Everywhere she looked, beauty and wonder met her gaze. Adam wasn’t kidding about the mixed memories connected to caving, but for this moment, she tried to focus on the good ones. And make new ones.