Terms Of Possession

Still unable to face him, though, when she hadn’t yet come to terms with Lisa’s betrayal, she went back to the flat, packed a bag, and, worried that he might call, took off for the suburbs to be near her mother for the weekend on the first available train.

When she arrived back late on Sunday night it was with the knowledge that the threatened cold following her mother’s operation hadn’t developed into anything serious. Consequently it was the memory of Lisa in the car park with that other man which kept her awake for hours. That, and what she herself was going to say to Cameron when he demanded to see her—as he undoubtedly would, she thought, with a cold apprehension stealing through her.

Finally, though, she drifted into a restless slumber, waking with such a severe bout of morning sickness that she had to telephone the office to say she wouldn’t be in until later.

It was halfway through the morning before she began to feel better, but her stomach muscles tightened painfully when the doorbell rang just as she was preparing to leave.

‘Going somewhere?’ Cameron’s gaze flitted coldly over her short-sleeved white blouse and beige skirt, and the matching jacket she had thrown over her arm.

‘I—I was just leaving for the office.’ Looking unusually pale, she took a step back as he thrust his way in uninvited.

‘The office can wait.’ He threw the door closed behind him, and a contrary mixture of fear and desolation shivered through Nadine. On Friday he’d looked angry. Today he was looking at her with an emotion almost akin to hatred, his voice purposefully soft as he said, ‘You aren’t going anywhere.’

He seemed big and imposing in her tiny hallway, memory serving to remind her, as her eyes registered the impeccable cut of his dark suit, that he had never actually been in her flat before.

‘You’ve already had half the morning off. Another hour isn’t going to make any difference—only to the answers you’re going to give me!’

Apprehensive, Nadine took another step back, feeling the sudden cool barrier of the wall through her thin blouse. So he’d telephoned the office first.

‘Cameron—I know you’ve a right to be angry…’

‘Angry?’ He gave a harsh laugh. ‘Oh, I’m not angry! I’m downright disgusted!’ She gasped as he moved disturbingly close, his hands coming up, one on either side of her, so that she was imprisoned against the wall. ‘You come and tell me you’re going to keep that baby, without even having the guts to stay and explain why, and then spend the whole weekend conveniently out of reach-and probably at my expense!’

‘That’s not true!’ His words cut into her like shards of jagged glass. His closeness was making her head swim, evoking feelings—memories—of an intimacy she didn’t want to remember.

‘Isn’t it?’ His mouth was a slash of disdain. ‘Then where the hell were you? I’ve been ringing—calling round since you ran out on me on Friday. Where have you been? In hiding? Afraid to face me, Nadine?’ His gaze raked icily over the tense lines of her face. ‘I wonder why?’

His tone had grown so unnervingly soft that she shuddered visibly. He’d judged her actions correctly, if not her motives!

‘Hasn’t a woman the right to want to keep her child?’ she uttered, her green eyes holding his unwaveringly, in spite of herself. ‘It’s something that takes over. A maternal instinct…’

‘Maternal instincts be hanged!’ Tremblingly she shrank from his palpable anger. ‘You’ll have to do better than that, Nadine. And why didn’t you tell Lisa? I thought she and you were supposed to be friends. Why come to me with your cold-hearted little message? Or did even the self-centred Nadine Kendall have enough sensitivity to realise that she wouldn’t be able to take it?’

She looked at him, scared. Oh, God! Please don’t let her actions have done anything to…

‘Stop piling on the innocence, Nadine. She was counting on that baby—and you know it! Do you realise the depths of frustration and disappointment she had to go through—the desperation she had to feel to have to resort to asking another woman to provide her with the baby she couldn’t conceive herself? And suddenly to be told she wasn’t going to have it after all—’ She could feel his loathing in the breath that shuddered through his lungs, in the angry, pulsing heat of his body. ‘You’ve broken up my marriage, you mercenary, calculating little bitch! And if you think you’re going to rob me of my child as well as wrecking my home, you’ve got another think coming!’

Nadine stared at him, eyes disbelieving. Lisa—gone? True, she’d seen her in the car park, kissing that other man. But leaving Cameron…

‘It wasn’t my fault,’ she uttered meekly, stunned both by the knowledge that Lisa would actually want to end her marriage and the sudden cold fear that Cameron might try to take the baby away.

‘No?’ Clearly he wasn’t going to accept that, she realised despairingly, feeling a little less threatened when he lowered his arms, slipping his hands into his trouser pockets. ‘You think you’re blameless?’

‘Yes! I mean…’ Oh, goodness! What was she trying to say? She’d only been doing what she’d thought was best for the baby—what any mother in the same situation would have done. But if Cameron believed Lisa was so innocent, then let him carry on thinking it! It wasn’t her place to put him straight. He’d hardly thank her for it, anyway. ‘I’m sorry,’ was all she could offer him, rather lamely.

‘Sorry?’ He rocked back on his heels, contempt in every hard inch of him. ‘Are you trying to tell me you didn’t have this planned from the very beginning? If Lisa was right, and you’re as anti-men as she had me believe—’

‘She said that?’

‘She hardly needed to. It’s patently obvious.’ She barely heard his scathing response, still trying to come to terms with Lisa saying something that was totally untrue. ‘You never go out with anyone—not regularly-only the odd, privileged male you might condescend to allow to date you when you’re feeling like some masculine company. So how did you go about choosing the father of your baby? Were you looking for a particular kind of pedigree? Or was it the thought of the five-figure cheque that appealed to the virgo intacta?’

The report that rang through the tiny hall was like the crack of a whip. Open-mouthed, hand smarting, Nadine stared at the reddening mark on his cheek, and she gave a small, frightened cry as he grabbed her, pushing her back against the wall.

‘Don’t you dare raise your hand to me, you cheap, double-crossing little vixen! All that talk about honour!’ His hands on her upper arms were bruising, frighteningly powerful, his contemptuous reminder of that night in that Essex hotel scorching her cheeks with shame. ‘You used me!’

‘That’s not true!’

‘No?’ His fingers tightened relentlessly on her bare flesh. ‘You wanted a child without the inconvenience of a husband. But may I remind you that I’m that child’s father, and I’ll fight you for custody every step of the way?’

Panic filled her eyes and she said desperately, ‘You can’t make me give it up!’

‘Legally, no.’ Of course. He knew the law—better than anyone. ‘Any more than you can extract any more cash from me if you change your mind and decide to. But if you think you can take my money and keep that baby, then I’ll have you know now that I’ll have my money’s worth out of you in other ways!’

‘No!’ Her hands came up to try and hold him off when she saw the threatening purpose in his eyes, but he was too strong for her, his body pinning her to the wall, his mouth coming down on hers with angry, humiliating intent.

His lips were punishing, the hands that had been holding her cruelly against him suddenly ripping at the collar of her blouse.

Dear heaven! He thought her no better than a whore! she thought wildly, her senses ravaged by the scent and heat and anger emanating from him, by that angry mouth against her throat, against her shoulder. Only her frenzied ‘No!’ seemed finally to drag him back to his senses.

Releasing her, and so abruptly that she staggered back against the wall, he turned away from her with a shuddering imprecation, as though he was revolted by her-by himself, for his own loss of control.

‘Do what you will,’ he snarled, contempt twisting his mouth. ‘Go where you will—to the other side of the world if you’ve a mind to. But I’ll find you.’ And as he turned to leave, through a blanket of fear and dizzying nausea, she heard his intimidating promise, ‘As long as you have my child you’ll never be rid of me, Nadine!’

CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_dab628f4-2b7e-5c7a-8068-e3f725fe0545)

STIFLED by the heat in the overcrowded train, Nadine stood clinging to the handgrip, praying for her station to emerge through the darkness of the Underground as a wave of sickness washed over her.

What was it they said? That it only lasted three months? Well, roll on three months! she thought wistfully as her stomach lurched with the rolling motion of the train. But what then?

With a little shiver of reluctance she recalled Cameron’s resolute promise to her the previous day. Did he intend to fight her for custody eventually, as he’d threatened to do, even without Lisa? Knowing, as he’d already admitted, that he would probably have no chance—or very little—of succeeding? Or did he despise her so much for being—as he believed—instrumental in destroying his marriage, that he intended to make her pay in some other humiliating way?

She fought a cold, queasy fear as she remembered his remark about taking his money’s worth, recalled the hostility of his kisses before he had finally gained command of himself again, and she was glad when at last the train whined to a standstill and she was out of the Underground. Although her troubles were only compounded by the news which was waiting for her at the office.

‘Larry’s gone,’ Marion, the junior partner’s secretary, came into her tiny office to tell her. ‘He had words with our senior early this morning and walked out. I think it was the ear-ring that finally did it.’ The young woman offered a sympathising smile. ‘I thought I ought to warn you, though…’ She hesitated, as though searching for the right words. ‘I heard the old man telling the other partners he wouldn’t be replacing him…So I don’t quite know where that leaves you.’

Redundant, Nadine thought with a despairing grimace. She had her worst fears confirmed within minutes of the other girl’s revelation and by that lunchtime she had cleared out her desk and left.

Not that she had been compelled to, she reflected when she was on her way to register with the nearest secretarial agency; they had given her the choice of working until the end of the month. But to avoid awkward questions she had planned to leave anyway, before her pregnancy started to show, and so this way, she decided, was best. At least if she was working for an agency suspicions wouldn’t be aroused if her morning sickness sometimes prevented her from getting in some days until after ten!

Fortunate enough to secure a temporary assignment starting the very next day, she found herself working in a very plush insurance office on the other side of town.

She had given the convalescent home the agency’s number in case someone should need to contact her urgently. She was disappointed, however, to have received no contact from Lisa, though she had been only half expecting to, nor a mere telephone call from Larry—if only to express regrets over putting her out of a job!

Still, he was probably too busy looking for one himself, she thought wryly, coming out of the modern office with two other girls at the end of the week. Her companions’ animated, ‘Ooh, what a car! What a man!’ coupled with, ‘Friend of yours, Nadine?’ drew her attention to the gleaming black Mercedes parked at the kerb, whose driver’s window was whirring smoothly open.

‘Hello, Nadine.’ Cameron’s smile was coolly reserved. ‘Get in. I’ll take you home.’

Nadine’s hackles rose at his arrogance in assuming that she was going straight home or that she would even step into his car after the way he had treated her the other day. But her colleagues were responding to that supreme masculine confidence in a way that told her they would take him up on his offer if she didn’t, and the last thing she wanted was to make a scene in front of them, so reluctantly she obeyed, her senses instantly assailed by the light, evocative scent of his cologne mingling with the expensive leather of the upholstery.