Christmas Babies

“And when you saw me,” she continued, “didn’t anything seem strange to you? Didn’t anything seem different?”

He couldn’t figure out where she was headed. “You seemed,” he said honestly, “more beautiful than ever.”

If he thought he was going to flatter her, he was wrong. The silence on the other end of the line was now potent.

“Danni—”

“Goodbye, Bryan. I can’t see you anymore.” She hung up abruptly, without another word.

He gazed thoughtfully at the phone and then he, too, hung up. “What the hell was that all about?” he muttered.

DANNI FOUND HER SISTER kneeling in the garden, digging up bulbs. Kristine wielded her spade with rather more force than necessary, the rich dark earth building up around her and the poor bulbs tossed aside unceremoniously.

“Didn’t you and Ted plant those together?” Danni asked. “The first year you were married.”

Kristine pushed aside a strand of hair, leaving a dirt smudge on her face. “I’m sick of these damn tulips,” she muttered.

“Kris, you always loved those flowers.”

“It’s time for a change.” Another bulb went flying. “Why, it’s almost Thanksgiving. And then Christmas…and then a brand-new year. A perfect time to completely overhaul my life.”

Danni knelt beside her sister. “Kris—talk to me.”

Kristine ducked her head, the blond hair falling forward again to obscure her face. “No doubt you want to know every little fact about last night. You want to know all about how I confessed to Bryan, and what he said in return, and…and every humiliating detail.”

Danni regarded her sister. “I would like to know that it’s taken care of at last.”

Kristine didn’t even seem to be listening. “Can you imagine what it’s like, Danni? To have a husband who no longer wants you.”

“From what I saw yesterday on the golf course,” she said, “you and Ted may still have a lot to work out. But he still cares about you a great deal. No one could get that angry, and not care.”

“You don’t know, Danni. You don’t know what a man can do to make you feel…completely undesirable. Completely unwanted. After that, there’s not much he can do to convince you otherwise.”

“Kris, what happened? What did Ted do to make you feel this way?”

“I can’t talk about it,” Kristine said, gripping her spade. “I just can’t. I can’t say it out loud…don’t ask me to, Danni.”

Danni had never seen her sister like this. Kristine had been many things in her life—impetuous, thoughtless, self-centered…extravagantly penitent when she realized she’d strained the limits of a friendship. But she had never been this way—so despairing, and so unsure of herself.

“Kris, if you’d only talk to me,” Danni said gently. “Maybe I can help—”

The spade was digging again. “Don’t even try, Danni. All you really want to know right now is what happened with Bryan. Well…I’ll tell you.” She sounded defiant, her words recklessly gathering speed. “I went to meet Bryan last night, and I told him the whole sorry situation. I told him how I’d pretended to be you, and how you hadn’t known anything about it until it was too late. I asked him not to blame you at least. But he wouldn’t listen. He told me…he told me he was disgusted with both of us, and he never wanted to see either one of us again!”

DANNI JUST KNEW it was going to be a lousy Thanksgiving. Of course, that was a safe bet—Thanksgiving at her parents’ house always turned out to be a dismal failure. Every year her mother and father tried a different combination of guests. And every year the result was the same: discreet yawns, embarrassed excuses for leaving early. Of course, Jay and Leah Ferris would never admit that their get-togethers were…well, boring.

Now Danni stood on her parents’ front porch, balancing her usual offerings of sweet-potato casserole and mushroom-sage stuffing. Her mother swung open the door and gave her a hug that almost upended the sweet potatoes. If nothing else, Danni could count on an enthusiastic greeting. She knew she was the success story of the family, the one who had fulfilled all her parents’ expectations. They didn’t even mind that she was thirty and still unmarried. Plenty of time for that later, they always told her. Solidify your career before slowing yourself down with a family.

Leah ushered Danni inside. “Thank goodness you’re finally here. When I found out Kristine and Ted couldn’t make it—”

“Kristine isn’t here?”

“Darling, that’s what I’m trying to tell you. Apparently they’ve had some sort of…altercation. Ted flew out to be with his family in Sacramento, and Kristine simply refused to say where she’d be.”

Danni felt a letdown. No matter how angry she got at her sister, she always counted on Kristine to be at family functions. It was the one thing that made these occasions bearable.

Now Danni went with her mother to the kitchen, and set down both casserole dishes.

“Are you all right?” her mother asked with a worried frown. “You don’t seem very chipper.”

At times her mother could be quite observant although her quaint terms often irritated Danni. This time, however, Danni had to admit she did not feel chipper. Ever since those few days ago, when she’d learned that Bryan never wanted to see her again…it had put a damper on her enthusiasm. Regret and sadness would wash over her at the most inconvenient times.

“I’m fine, Mom,” she said with an effort.

“Everything going okay at work?”

Danni had a wild urge to lie—to say that she’d walked out on her advertising job and that she’d decided to become a full-time carpenter. She didn’t say anything, though. She just busied herself at the sink, rinsing the lettuce for the salad. Her mother gave her a sharp look, but then hurried out to the living room to try entertaining her guests.

Two hours later, it was painfully clear that the guests refused to be entertained. Danni glanced around the dining room table. She sat among a few of her mother’s law partners, several more of her father’s management associates, two of the neighbors from down the street. It was not a congenial group. Conversations proceeded in fits and starts, then faded to nonexistence. The turkey was dry, the cranberry sauce tart, the pumpkin pie bland. Danni saw the look of chagrin on her mother’s face, but also knew that she would refuse to give up. Leah was no doubt already calculating a brand-new guest list for Christmas.

Danni picked at her mincemeat pie, only to set down her fork at last. She saw the elderly man on her left give a rather desperate peek at his watch. She knew she should be trying to liven the party; she owed her parents that much. But all she could think about was Bryan. She tried to remind herself that they’d only been casual acquaintances until Kristine had stepped in and distorted everything. But the sense of loss continued to assault her.

Fool, a voice mocked in her head. Maybe it’s true. Maybe you only care about men your sister wants.

She clenched her hands in her lap. She didn’t want to care about Bryan McKay. She scarcely knew him.

“Danni, are you sure you’re all right?” Leah asked. “You’ve hardly touched your food.”

“Yes…I’m fine.”

“She works too hard,” Leah confided to someone across the table. There was a note of pride in her voice. Leah herself had worked hard all her life, the first one in her family to get a college degree. No wonder she took her career so seriously, and expected Danni to do the same. If only Danni’s career could provide all the answers…if only it could make her stop thinking about a man she couldn’t have….

She stood abruptly. “Mom, Dad—I’m sorry, but I have to leave.”

The gentleman to her left stole another glance at his watch. “Sorry, but I have to be on my way, too,” he said. There were other relieved murmurs and rustlings around the table.

Danni knew she was responsible for breaking up the party even earlier than usual. Her mother sent her an accusing glare, and she felt guilty. But she just had to get out of here.

Somehow she had to outrun her thoughts of Bryan McKay.

IT HAD BEEN a bad day for Elizabeth. She’d insisted on trying to make Thanksgiving dinner—only to overexert herself, and ending up huddled on the sofa with her famous cornbread dressing and her pumpkin pies only half-done. Bryan had been grateful for the nursing service he’d hired against all her protests. This afternoon, the nurse on duty had come to the rescue—finishing up the dinner, making Elizabeth as comfortable as possible. But Bryan still blamed himself. He shouldn’t have let his mother do all that work. Never mind that she’d been looking forward to it for days. It was up to him to make certain she didn’t overdo it.

Night had fallen, and he’d finally left his mother asleep in her apartment, the nurse still in charge. Now he climbed out of his car and went up the walk to his own apartment. A shape emerged from the darkness next to his door. Danni. He couldn’t think of anyone he’d rather see. After the way she’d hung up the phone on him the other night, this was an unexpected pleasure. Before she could protest, he put his arms around her.

“You smell good,” he said. His hands moved over her back.

“Bryan, I shouldn’t be here,” she answered. “It’s a mistake. But somehow…somehow I can’t help myself.”

“I’ve missed you,” he said. He unlocked the door and drew her inside. When he turned on the hall lamp, light spilled over her blond hair. Her face had an unhappy look, but he intended to do something about that. He held her close again, kissing her, and he could sense the tension begin to leave her body.