Falling For His Best Friend

‘He was in a bad way. Do you know how he is?’ Carlos asked, oblivious to the silent exchange going on between Kitty and Anna. He appeared to be more concerned about the boy than himself.

‘He’s here,’ Kitty told him. ‘He was brought in just before you. He’s being looked after.’

‘So he’s alive?’

‘As far as I know,’ she said. She didn’t know what else she could tell Carlos. She didn’t have any more information and she wouldn’t be able to disclose anything she did know. She was sure that if the boy survived he’d want to thank Carlos personally. She hoped so.

Anna and Kitty worked slowly and meticulously. They washed the burnt skin on Carlos’s arms and hands and debrided the blisters, applying antibiotic cream before carefully separating his fingers and wrapping them individually.

‘Will your wife be able to manage at home with you?’ Kitty asked as she finished wrapping the last finger. ‘We will need to keep you here for a few hours, just to keep an eye on you, but then if your readings are all within normal limits you’ll be able to go home. You’ll need to have some follow-up appointments for your lungs, though, and we will also make you an appointment with the burns unit in a few days. It’s here in the hospital. Will someone be able to drive you here?’

‘My wife doesn’t drive.’

‘That’s OK,’ Kitty replied. ‘I’ll speak to your employer. They will have to arrange transport for you seeing as this was a workplace accident. Is that OK with you?’

Carlos nodded.

‘All right, let’s get you comfortable and then I’ll pop out and see if your wife is here yet.’

Kitty ducked into the staff kitchen for a break while Carlos had a few minutes with his wife. As all the other accident victims were being taken care of she decided she’d take the chance to top up her caffeine level. As she’d expected, the waiting room was now crowded with reporters all wanting to get an interview with Carlos, but she’d leave that decision to him. She skirted the waiting room and was just adding sugar to her coffee when Mike walked in.

He looked tired and Kitty was worried that things hadn’t gone smoothly. He had been treating the boy from the bus, the one Carlos had saved. Kitty hoped it hadn’t been in vain. She forgot that she’d barely spoken to him since their argument. At work things were different. She could put her personal issues aside. She’d learnt to compartmentalise her life and, in fact, the hospital often provided an escape. For the most part, no matter how bad things were in her own life, work was a constant reminder that she wasn’t the only one suffering. On a couple of occasions she had felt that her life sucked more than her patients’, but she always found work to be a good distraction. Right now, her disagreement with Mike was minor compared to their day so far. Things weren’t so bad that she couldn’t reach out to him.

‘How did it go?’

‘He’s alive but he has burns to about thirty per cent of his body and to his airway. He’s been transferred to the burns unit.’ He ran his hands through his hair. ‘All because he left his laptop behind.’ He shook his head. It sounded ridiculous but Kitty guessed the boy hadn’t stopped to think about the consequences. Hadn’t thought about the risks. And now it was too late. What’s done was done. She knew better than most that there was no going back. The past couldn’t be changed no matter how much you might wish it.

Mike filled a glass from the water cooler. ‘When are you coming home?’ he asked over his shoulder.

‘That depends,’ she said, knowing she wasn’t telling the truth. She didn’t think she would be going back. ‘Have you changed your mind about my plans?’

‘No.’

Which meant he assumed she’d changed her mind.

‘Well, I haven’t either,’ she said.

His voice was quiet, his tone not malicious, but he sounded very definite as he said, ‘I’m not going to be a cuckold in my own house.’

That was part of the problem. Even though she’d moved in with him after six months and had now been living with him for five, it was still his house. Not theirs. He still held all the cards, still had all the control.

‘It’s hardly the same thing,’ she argued.

‘It is to me,’ he said as he drained his glass. ‘You will be pregnant with another man’s baby.’

‘But surely you can understand my reasons?’

He was shaking his head. ‘I can’t imagine what could possibly make you want to do this. Jess has other options.’

‘But she’s my sister!’ That was another part of the problem. He really didn’t get her need for family. He didn’t get her desperate desire to hold onto what was left of it.

‘IVF isn’t an option,’ Kitty said, even though Mike knew that. Jess had been diagnosed with uterine cancer three years ago and after harvesting and storing her eggs she’d had a total hysterectomy, meaning that the simplest option was not an option. ‘That leaves adoption or surrogacy. They’re not likely to be approved for adoption given Jess’s medical history, and finding someone else to offer to be a surrogate could take months—years even.’

Surrogacy in Australia was heavily legislated. Each state had its own laws and although New South Wales was a bit more lenient than other parts of the country, surrogate mothers couldn’t be paid. They could be reimbursed for their medical costs but couldn’t benefit financially, which meant that would-be parents needed to find someone who would do it out of the kindness of their hearts. It wasn’t like asking someone to mind your pets while you went on a holiday—you were asking someone to lend you their body for forty weeks or more. Asking someone to subject themselves to tests and procedures to fulfil your own dreams. It wasn’t easy.

Kitty closed her eyes and pictured Jess holding a baby. Her baby.

She opened her eyes and looked at Mike.

Those was her choices. Mike or her sister’s baby.

‘You can’t be their only solution,’ he said.

‘Maybe not,’ she replied. ‘But I am their best one.’

Mike’s pager beeped and he pulled it from his waistband to read the message. He glanced up and Kitty knew he was about to leave, but she also knew he’d want the last word. True to form he said, ‘If you want to do this you’ll have to do it without any help from me.’

He didn’t wait for a reply before he turned and left the room.

Kitty stood still for a moment, trying to figure out what had just happened. She thought about what she was doing. What she was giving up. Why was her sister’s happiness more important than her own?

Jess’s happiness would be shared by Kitty. If she could give her sister an opportunity to have a family then, by association, she would benefit too—she’d be giving herself more family. She did want a family of her own one day but she knew Mike wasn’t the man she would do that with. She had to believe her time would come, and meanwhile she’d do what she could. So she would grant Jess’s wish. That would bring her happiness too. Being a surrogate meant giving up Mike but it was a sacrifice Kitty was willing to make.

She was still standing in the centre of the room when Joe walked in.

‘Is everything OK?’ he asked. He’d changed into a clean uniform and washed his face. He looked good in his uniform. The blue suited him, brought out the colour of his eyes, but it was more than that. It was the air of responsibility it gave him. He wore it well. He looked strong, capable and dependable. All the things she knew him to be were accentuated by the uniform. ‘Rough day?’

She shook her head. ‘No worse than usual. I was just thinking...’

Joe grinned. ‘Should I be worried?’

She laughed. She hadn’t realised she’d felt like laughing but Joe could always lift her spirits. ‘Maybe,’ she replied.

‘What’s going on?’

‘You just missed Mike.’

‘And?’ He hesitated before asking, ‘You’re not thinking of moving back in?’

Kitty shook her head. ‘No. But we had another discussion about the surrogacy. I wasn’t prepared for it and I know I didn’t handle it all that well, but he’s still making it all about him.’ Like always, she nearly added but she stopped herself, realising that was unfair. At work Mike was single-minded, putting his patients’ needs first. He was focussed and dedicated—maybe all that effort at work made him think he deserved to be at the top of his own list of priorities away from work too, but sometimes she wished she felt as important to him as he felt to himself. ‘This isn’t about him,’ she continued. ‘It’s not even about me. It’s about Jess and Cam. Why can’t he see that?’

Joe raised an eyebrow. ‘You really want to hear my answer to that question?’

‘No, I guess not.’ Kitty managed a half-smile. ‘But I’m tired of feeling like my opinions don’t matter.’

‘So what next?’

‘I need to talk to Jess and Cam.’