One Night That Changed Her Life

She lay with her head on his chest and her fingers splayed across his stomach and listened to the rhythm of his heartbeat under her ear. She closed her eyes and let the silence drift over her.

* * *

She woke an hour later. The hotel room curtains were open and the city lights lit up the room. Xavier’s arm was draped over her shoulder and she slid out from under it, careful not to disturb him. She needed to go.

She ducked, naked, into the bathroom but when she returned to collect her clothes he was awake. He was lying on his back watching her. The covers were off and he made no attempt to hide the fact that he was ready and willing to make love again.

Brighde forgot all about getting dressed as she let him pull her back into bed.

But this time she took care not to fall asleep afterwards. She waited until he drifted off before she dressed and snuck out in the early hours of the morning.

There was no exchange of phone numbers or even last names. She didn’t know anything about him and that was the way she wanted it. She would never see him again. She felt a tiny twinge of disappointment but even though he was magnificent she wasn’t about to break her own rule.

She didn’t do weekends. She didn’t do relationships.

One night was enough.

There was no danger of falling in love in only one night.

* * *

Brighde changed into scrubs ready for another night shift. Her fifth straight. She was exhausted; the maternity wing had been really busy. That wasn’t unusual; Parkville Private Hospital had the largest private maternity service in Melbourne and they were always busy, but the past few shifts had been ridiculous. The nurses were blaming the full moon; there was no scientific evidence to back up their suspicions but years of experience had taught them that a full moon seemed to trigger labour, not only in the women who had reached full term but also for those who were overdue as well as for plenty who were a week or two away from their due dates. The department was bursting at the seams and Brighde was looking forward to a few days off at the end of this shift. Only eight hours to go.

She tied the laces on her sneakers and headed for handover, hoping that tonight would be quiet.

‘Brighde, you can take over from Jacqui. She’s got delivery room three.’ The charge nurse distributed the patients among the new staff.

‘I’ve got Kirsty Jones,’ Jacqui told her.

Brighde remembered Kirsty from prenatal appointments. ‘First baby, husband is Matt, right?’ she clarified.

Jacqui nodded. ‘She’s been in labour for about twelve hours and in active phase for a few hours now. Seven centimetres dilated, contractions four minutes apart. She probably hasn’t got long to go. Do you want me to stay until she delivers?’

It was common for the midwives to extend their shifts if they thought their patients were close to delivering. It made for good continuity of care and the mums appreciated having one midwife throughout. But it wasn’t always possible. Lots of babies took far longer than one shift to make their appearance.

‘Is there much else happening at the moment?’ Brighde asked, meaning, Are we likely to be run off our feet?

‘No.’

‘Go home, then,’ she told Jacqui. ‘I know Kirsty. I’ve got this.’

‘Thanks. I’ve called her doctor. He’s on his way. Dr Davey is on holidays and Dr O’Donnell, the new OB/GYN is covering for him.’ Jacqui was already untying her ponytail, getting ready to leave, as she gave Brighde the final information.

‘OK, all good.’

* * *

‘Kirsty, how are you?’ Brighde stepped into delivery room three and greeted Kirsty and her husband. Kirsty looked tired and Matt didn’t look as if he was faring much better. ‘We’ve had a shift change, it’s my turn now but you won’t have any more changes after this. I promise I’ll be here when your baby is born.’

‘You’d better be,’ Kirsty panted. ‘Your shifts are eight hours, right? If this baby isn’t out by then, I’m leaving.’

Brighde smiled.

‘What?’ Kirsty asked.

‘We hear that a lot at this stage, when you’ve had enough, that’s when we know you’re getting close.’

Kirsty grimaced as she was gripped by another contraction.

‘How are you doing, Matt?’ Brighde asked as she waited for Kirsty’s contraction to ease. This stage was hard on the partners; she knew he’d be feeling useless.

‘I’m okay but isn’t there anything to do to speed this up?’ he asked.

‘Sorry, not at this point. She’s very close. We’ve just got to let things take their course. Natural is best.’

Jacqui had attached a monitor to Kirsty’s abdomen to record the contractions and Brighde checked the readout. The contractions were now two minutes apart, lasting for around sixty seconds and getting stronger.

‘I’m just going to take a look to see how your labour is progressing,’ Brighde said as she pulled a pair of gloves on.

‘Eight centimetres. You’re getting there,’ she said. ‘You’re in the transition phase now. It won’t be much longer.’

‘We haven’t even seen the doctor,’ Matt said.

‘He’s on his way. There’s nothing for him to do yet. Trust me, you don’t want the doctor in early. If things are going well you don’t need him until the end.’

Kirsty’s labour seemed to be progressing as expected and Brighde thought they wouldn’t really need the doctor at all but she also knew that at Parkville Private the patients paid for, and expected to see, the doctor.

Kirsty cried out as another contraction took over. She was getting restless. ‘God, it hurts.’

‘If you think you can manage to get onto all fours that might ease the pressure on your back,’ Brighde told her. ‘Matt, you could run a flannel under hot water and give Kirsty’s back a rub.’ That would hopefully distract Kirsty, ease her discomfort and give Matt something useful to do. ‘You’ll meet your baby soon.’

Matt had followed her suggestion and returned from the en suite bathroom with a warm flannel. Brighde let him look after Kirsty while she checked the equipment, making sure she had everything she needed for the delivery at arm’s reach. As she worked she listened to Matt as he tried to reassure Kirsty. She could hear the love and affection in his voice, along with concern, and it made her wish that she had someone to share her life with. Someone who would love and support her. But she knew that would be asking a lot. She’d vowed long ago that she wouldn’t put someone through what she’d been through. She’d made a pact with herself that she would stay single. She wanted to be loved but she wouldn’t risk it.

Thinking about being in love led her to thinking about her brother. After all the pledges they’d made, the promise not to get tested, Nick had fallen in love with Imogen and everything had changed. The pact she and Nick had made years before, agreeing not to have genetic testing, had ended when Nick had fallen in love. He wanted to start a family and he needed answers. Brighde couldn’t blame him for that. But now she knew her decision to stay single and free was justified. She had watched her mother’s life disintegrate and she’d vowed not to put herself or loved ones in that same position. Which meant not allowing herself to fall in love. That was the only way to avoid the heartache. To avoid the risk. She had to stick to her plan. As much as she’d like to share her life with someone, she couldn’t commit to anything more than one night.

The last night she’d spent with someone had been with Xavier. She wondered how he was. Whether he was back in Scotland. Whether he ever thought about her. She couldn’t deny she’d been thinking about him. A lot. In the maternity suites she’d found herself comparing all the partners to Xavier. Wondering what he would be like in the same situation. Would he be the bossy, know-it-all expectant father who’d read all the books? Or would he be the kind, gentle, supportive partner who was only concerned about his wife. Not that it mattered. Her silent imaginings were a waste of time. Xavier was gone.

She had to stick to her plan and even if she wanted to change her mind Xavier wasn’t around. That boat had sailed. That was why she’d let her hormones carry her away that night. Because she’d known she’d never see him again. But she hadn’t been able to get him out of her head, despite the fact that the night she’d spent with him was now almost eight weeks ago. She really needed to get him out of her system.

She’d expected the sex to be good—the sparks she’d felt between them had been too huge to ignore—but she hadn’t expected it to be the best sex of her life. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t have better. Xavier might have become her new benchmark but that didn’t mean someone else out there couldn’t match up or even improve on him.

Maybe that was the answer. Maybe she just needed to have sex with someone else. She needed to erase the memory of him. Something about Xavier had got under her skin but she couldn’t afford to get fixated on someone she’d never see again. That had been the whole point. Anonymous sex was the only way to go. She didn’t get involved. She didn’t do relationships and she really didn’t have time to spend thinking about him. She needed to get this baby delivered, and however many others decided to be born tonight, and then she’d go home, get a good eight hours sleep and tomorrow she’d start to wipe all traces of Xavier from her mind. She’d go back to the old, independent Brighde. She didn’t need a man; she was fine.

She didn’t want a man she told herself as she prepared to check Kirsty’s progress again.

She was now nine centimetres dilated and Brighde could see the baby’s head. She wondered how far away the doctor was. If he wasn’t already here he was likely to miss the delivery altogether.

‘Almost there, Kirsty. You’re doing really well. Not long now.’ She stood and pulled off her gloves. ‘I’ll fetch the doctor.’