Sydney Harbour Hospital: Bella's Wishlist

EVIE hesitated when she heard Bella ask Charlie to stay. She wondered what that was all about but she didn’t stop. She had to catch her father before he disappeared again. There were things they needed to talk about.

‘Richard,’ she called out to him. She hadn’t called him ‘Dad’ since she’d started working at the Harbour Hospital. Evie’s paternal great-grandfather had been instrumental in establishing the hospital and Richard was one of its biggest benefactors. Evie hadn’t wanted to be accused of nepotism when she’d joined the staff. Although the Lockheart surname was a clear indication that there was a relationship there, she hadn’t wanted everyone to know just how close the relationship was.

He turned and waited for her to catch up.

‘Where have you been?’ Evie asked. She was furious that she’d heard nothing from him all morning. ‘Why didn’t you return my messages?’ She must have left him half a dozen in total.

‘I tried. Your mobile is switched off.’

Evie knew there would be no apology. She always switched her phone off at work and Richard knew that. He could have guessed she’d be at the hospital, he could have contacted her through other avenues. ‘You could have paged me.’

Never one to back down he said, ‘I spoke to Lexi and came straight here. Tell me, how do we fix this? What can I do?’

‘You can’t buy lungs,’ she replied, knowing that Richard’s preferred way of dealing with things was just to throw large sums of money at a problem until it went away. That wasn’t going to work this time. ‘We just have to wait.’

‘What is Sam doing about this?’

‘There’s nothing he can do other than push Bella up the list, which he has done. It’s all dependent on having a suitable donor and convincing Bella to go ahead with the surgery once compatible lungs are found. All we can do is support her through this.’ Her little sister was in dire straits and while Evie had known this day was inevitable it didn’t make it any less heartbreaking.

She hoped Richard was listening. She hoped, for once, he could be there to support his daughter. She hoped he realised he might never get another shot at this. But she and Lexi would be there for Bella even if her parents weren’t. Which brought her to the next item on her mental checklist.

‘Will you tell Miranda?’ Evie asked.

Evie had started calling her mother by her first name when she was fifteen, when she had finally admitted that her mother preferred her bottle of gin to her daughters. Miranda’s contact with her offspring was sporadic, associated with brief periods of sobriety mostly, although there had been plenty of times when the girls had seen Miranda far from sober. But despite this Evie felt Miranda needed to know what was happening with her second daughter and she thought it was Richard’s job to inform her.

Richard’s expression told Evie all she needed to know but she was not going to let him out of this task. ‘You need to tell her. Whether she can understand what’s going on is not your problem, but she has to be told. I need to get back to work. I’ll see you back here later.’ Evie’s final words were not a question. Someone needed to tell Richard what was required and she was happy to do that. But she’d have to wait and see if he listened.

Bella looked exhausted. She was waiflike, a pale shadow of a figure against the white hospital sheets. She was sitting up in bed and the only exception to her pallor was her auburn curls, which were vibrantly bright against the pillows that were plumped around her. Looking at her, Charlie thought she could pass for eighteen years old but he knew she was in her mid-twenties. She’d been seventeen when they’d first met, almost ten years ago, when he’d gone back to med school and found himself in Evie’s class, and that would make her twenty-six now.

He waited until Bella’s room had emptied itself of all the other occupants before he dragged a chair closer to the bed and sat. ‘What can I do for you?’ he asked. When he’d offered his help he hadn’t expected there would be anything he could do, but his offer had been made in good faith and if Bella needed assistance he would do his best to give it to her.

‘I need an unbiased pair of ears.’

Charlie frowned. Bella wasn’t maintaining eye contact. Instead, she was fidgeting with the bed covers, repeatedly pleating them in her fingers before smoothing them out. He wondered what was bothering her. ‘Is this about the transplant?’

‘Sort of,’ she replied.

‘You are planning on going ahead with it?’

‘Yes.’ Bella nodded and her auburn curls bounced. ‘But I don’t want to talk to you about the actual operation or anything medical. I’m worried about Evie.’ She looked up at him then but her fingers continued to fiddle with the bed sheets.

‘Evie?’ He’d expected that she wanted to discuss the transplant. He had expected to advise her to talk to Sam. Charlie was an orthopaedic surgeon. Lung transplants were Sam’s area of expertise, not his. ‘I don’t understand.’

‘You heard Sam, I’m on borrowed time. I’m not ready to give up yet but there’s no guarantee that a suitable donor will be found in time.’

Her breathing was laboured and when she paused to catch her breath he could hear a faint wheeze. She had an oxygen tube resting on her top lip and out of habit he checked the flow and her oxygen sats on the monitor to make sure she was getting an adequate supply. The flow was fine so he returned his attention to Bella.

‘If I’m running out of time,’ she was saying, ‘I want to make sure my sisters are okay.’

His frowned deepened. ‘Sam has just told you that your last hope is to find a suitable donor for new lungs and you’re worried about your sisters?’ Charlie was amazed. If he were in the same situation he doubted he’d be able to think about anything except whether he was going to live or die.

Bella shrugged. ‘There’s nothing I can do about finding a donor but making sure Evie is okay might be something I can have some influence over.’

‘What’s wrong with her?’ He hadn’t noticed anything amiss but, to be honest, he hadn’t seen a lot of Evie lately.

‘I know this whole donor thing is stressing Evie out. She feels responsible for me. She always has ever since our mother walked out on us. But, really, this situation isn’t unexpected, we all knew this day would come. But Evie doesn’t seem to be coping as well as I would have thought.’

Bella stopped, interrupted by a coughing fit, and Charlie could only watch as her slight frame shuddered with each spasm. She had asked him to stay behind. There must be something she needed. ‘What did you want me to do?’ he asked as he poured some water into a glass for her and waited while she sipped it.

‘Thanks,’ she said as she moistened her throat before she continued to speak in a voice that was just louder than a whisper. ‘She seems on edge, which isn’t like her, and she’s been like that for a little while. Something is bothering her but she won’t tell me what it is. Have you noticed anything?’

‘I haven’t seen that much of her lately,’ he admitted. But if Bella was right and Evie was troubled, he was pretty sure he knew what the problem was. The sisters were extraordinarily close and he could just imagine how much this situation was tearing Evie apart. ‘I imagine she’s just worried about you and doesn’t want to burden you with her concerns.’ He wished he felt like he was doing a better job of comforting Bella but he didn’t think he’d be improving her spirits with this clumsy attempt at reassurance.

‘I think it’s something unrelated to me,’ Bella admitted.

‘Like what?’

‘I don’t know. Sometimes it’s as though she has the weight of the world on her shoulders and you know what she’s like, she doesn’t like to burden people with her troubles. A couple of the nurses were talking about Evie and they mentioned Finn Kennedy. I wondered if something had happened between them, something that would upset her. Have you heard anything?’

Bella’s earlier nervousness had disappeared. She’d stopped fidgeting and Charlie wondered whether he’d only imagined her to be on edge. He shook his head. ‘I’ve heard nothing. There’s been the usual gossip about the staff and usual complaints about the doctors’ egos, but I’ve heard nothing about Evie specifically.’

‘Will you promise me that if anything happens to me, you’ll look out for her?’ Bella asked. ‘She needs somebody to take care of her and she’s so independent, which makes it tough. At least she might let you close.’

Charlie nodded. ‘I promise I’ll make sure she’s okay.’ He could do that. He wished he could tell Bella that she’d be able to keep an eye on Evie herself but they both knew that might not be the case. They both knew what the reality was.

He could hear Bella wheezing as she breathed and he knew she needed to rest. He should leave and let her recover but he needed to know that everything was under control first. ‘Is anything else bothering you?’ he asked.

‘Well, I also want to see Lexi happily married to Sam but I don’t think you can help me there.’ Bella smiled and Charlie caught a glimpse of humour despite her circumstances.

‘Why wouldn’t they get married?’ he asked.

Bella shook her head. ‘I’m sure they will but I want to be there when they do. Lexi wants time to organise a huge circus, and I know it’s her wedding …’ She smiled. ‘Their wedding,’ she corrected, ‘but I wish she’d agree to hurry things up. I don’t want to miss out.’

Her smile had gone and the tension had returned to her shoulders. She had the bed sheet bunched up tight in her right hand and her knuckles were white with the effort. Maybe it had been stress he’d been witnessing all along.

Charlie wished again that there was something he could do to reassure her. ‘You need to be positive. You have to believe you will get a second chance.’ He knew his words were hopelessly inadequate but he was out of his depth.

‘All right, I’ll go along with your fairy-tale for now,’ Bella replied. ‘Let’s say a donor is found in time, before Lexi and Sam have a chance to get married. What if something happens to me during the surgery? That’s a risk too. Sam is my surgeon. How do you think that will affect their relationship? I know the idea of me dying terrifies Lexi but if they’re already married they’ll have to get past it, but if they’re not …’ Bella paused and shrugged her bony shoulders. ‘I don’t want to be responsible for something happening and coming between them.’

‘How can what happens in surgery be your responsibility?’

‘It’s my decision to have the surgery and the other alternative if something goes wrong is for it to be Sam’s responsibility. If I don’t have the surgery then that pressure is removed.’

‘If you don’t have the surgery, you’ll die.’ Charlie knew he was being blunt but he also knew Bella understood the facts. ‘It’s Sam’s job to make sure nothing happens to you. He’s a surgeon, that goes with the territory.’

‘Don’t get me wrong. If a donor is found, I will have the transplant, but I’d just prefer it if Lexi and Sam were married first. Does that make sense?’

Charlie nodded. In some strange roundabout way it did make perfect sense. He could understand her logic. ‘I assume you’ve spoken to Lexi about this?’