The Fatherhood Affair

She wondered what type of hunger he had on his mind. ‘Yes,’ she said lightly, trying to fight the unsettling effect of his closeness.

Taking her arm was an ordinary enough courtesy. It was absurd to have this skittish feeling of wanting to shy away from him, to put more distance between them. He couldn’t seduce her into taking him as a lover. It would be like involving herself with Brett all over again. She wouldn’t consider it. Not in a million years. Damien had better put it out of his mind or this luncheon would come to a very abrupt end.

He gestured their readiness to the maître d’, who smiled and set off to lead them to their table.

Natalie registered that the smile was a typical female response to Damien. Most women would classify him as outstanding in the tall, dark and handsome category. Add to that the charisma of keen intelligence, a charm of manner based on rock-solid self-assurance, and the attention he drew was perfectly reasonable.

As they passed tables where women were seated, interested looks were cast his way. Damien Chandler commanded a second glance from everyone, men included. He carried the air of being someone. He stood out from the general run. People noticed him, remembered him. Such attributes were both social and business assets. Objectively, Natalie had recognised this long ago.

She would never have believed that the simple act of having her arm linked to his would make anything different, but it did. The looks directed at Damien slid to her, looks of envy and assessment, matching her against him as a couple. It did nothing for Natalie’s self-confidence.

All the same, Damien was not going to sweep her off her feet. She didn’t care how many women fancied him or how fanciable he was. She knew better than to lay her head on his chopping-block. Easy come, easy go. She had seen it too many times to be even faintly interested. That he could be turned on by her new image was virtually an insulting demonstration of how facile his sexual urges were.

Damien would never marry. Of that she felt certain. He had done it once, in his mid-twenties before they had ever met. From all accounts, it had been his wife who had walked out on him. Which carried its own message to Natalie.

She was glad to reach their table and be seated. She concentrated on laying her shoulder-bag beside the leg of her chair, smiling at the hovering waiter, ordering a champagne cocktail, smoothing the table napkin across her lap. The actions gave her time to recover some of the sense of well-being and purpose with which she had started out for this meeting.

She felt Damien’s gaze on her and glanced up to meet it, determined on acting naturally. ‘How was your trip?’ she asked.

‘Successful.’

That was normal. Damien was a powerhouse of energy and inspiration. She smiled. ‘Does this mean you’ll be back and forth to Hong Kong for the foreseeable future?’

‘No.’

His thick black lashes swept down. Combined with deeply set eyelids, they had the effect of making his eyes look dark from a distance. Their silvery-grey colour came as an intriguing surprise. When he looked up his expression was flint-like and purposeful.

‘I’ve sold the company, Natalie. It’s being taken over by a Chinese consortium that wants to spread its interests out of Hong Kong. If it’s allowed to do so.’

She was dumbstruck. Changes were coming thick and fast today. She could hardly put two thoughts together. Concern for him slashed through her mind, prompting the question, ‘Were you in financial trouble, Damien? Did paying me Brett’s share...’

‘No,’ he answered curtly. ‘As I told you before, and as cruel as it may seem, Brett’s death...’ He didn’t go on.

‘...was my financial solution,’ she concluded for him. The solution to several other problems as well, she thought bitterly. But the cost of it was still difficult to bear.

‘I never wish to refer to the matter again,’ Damien said, a hostility in his voice.

‘You’re not selling the company because of me,’ Natalie protested. ‘You can have the money back if you need it. I haven’t touched it.’

‘It has nothing to do with money, Natalie. I simply want to be out.’

‘Why? You’re so good at what you do. Surely...’ Her mind clicked on to another path. Was it because Brett was gone? Damien was superb at selling conversions for computer programs. He was brilliant at working out what was required by the clients, but Brett had been the force behind delivering what was promised. His was the genius that had put it all together and made it work.

‘It’s not the same without Brett,’ Damien said flatly. ‘The company has the personnel and expertise to carry on. It’s still a viable business, Natalie. But I miss Brett’s quick understanding of what’s needed. I’m reminded of him all the time. It was something we shared.’

‘Yes. Yes, I know.’

They’d been as close as, if not closer than brothers. That wasn’t to say they never fought over issues. They did. Like cats and dogs. In the end, they always stood together, no matter what. Their loyalty to each other was so strong that it overrode the loyalty owed to her.

The waiter brought their drinks and handed them menus. Natalie stared blindly at the printed list for several moments, realising for the first time that Damien’s grief had probably been as deep as her own. Worse, in the sense that he had been abseiling on the cliff, a helpless witness as first Ryan, then Brett, trying to save their son, fell to their deaths. At least she had been spared that.

Natalie fought back tears. She had to put her dead child behind her. She had to put the misery behind her. She had let grief swallow up her life long enough. She was not going to let her resolution slip now. She selected the Caesar salad as an entrée, and the Atlantic salmon for her main course, then set the menu aside.

Damien was watching her.

She raised her eyebrows. ‘So what do you plan to do?’

He relaxed. ‘I’m obliged to stay on with the company for six months to ease the change-over. There’s a three-year exclusion clause from taking on any similar type of work.’

‘That’s quite a lot of time to fill in.’

‘I have a project in mind.’

‘What is it?’

He looked intently at her, as though there should be some intimate understanding between them. ‘Don’t you have any idea?’

‘None whatsoever,’ she answered airily.

‘That makes everything a little more difficult.’

He paused a minute, reassessing the situation. She gave him no encouragement. She kept an expression of bland curiosity pasted on her face.

‘What are your plans, Natalie?’ he asked, deciding to approach his purpose from another angle. ‘Did you come to this meeting with a definite idea as to its outcome?’

An appalling thought struck her. Had Damien interpreted her new image as an attempt to attract him? Natalie burned with embarrassment. How could he entertain such an implausible idea? Perhaps, though, that was why he had looked at her in the way he did. The need to rectify any misunderstanding caused her amber eyes to glitter with fiery golden sparks.

‘Yes, I did.’

‘Well?’

‘I wanted to tell you certain things.’

He smiled encouragement, confident of holding his influence over her thoughts and actions. ‘Go ahead and tell me,’ he invited, gesturing with open hands.

‘For one thing, I don’t want you guarding me like a watchdog any more.’

His smile turned rueful. ‘It was only for your protection, Natalie. You were...rather lost and defenceless.’

‘Well, I’ve found my defences again.’

‘Fine!’

‘And I never want to hear another word of criticism from you. It’s my life and I’ll live it as I see fit. Not as you see fit.’

That sobered him. His eyes went still and wary.

Her chin lifted in defiant self determination. ‘I don’t want you to ever mention Brett again in my hearing,’ she added strongly. Her flow of thought then faltered under his hard, relentless stare.