Specimens of German Romance; Vol. II. Master Flea

Involuntarily Peregrine inquired who the lady was, without reflecting that this in fact was the best question he could ask to get a clue to the strange mystery.

"It is just and proper," replied Swammer, "that the landlord should know whom he is lodging in his house. Learn then, my respected Mr. Tyss, that the damsel, who has taken refuge with me, is no other than the fair Hollandress, Dörtje Elverdink, niece of the celebrated Leuwenhock, who, as you know, gives here the wonderful microscopic exhibitions. Leuwenhock was once my friend, but I must acknowledge that he is a hard man, and uses my god-daughter cruelly. A violent affair, which took place yesterday, compelled the maiden to flight, and it seems natural enough that she should seek help and refuge with me."

"Dörtje Elverdink!" said Peregrine, half dreaming;–"Leuwenhock!–perhaps a descendant of the naturalist, Antony Leuwenhock, who made the celebrated microscopes."

"That our Leuwenhock," replied Swammer, smiling, "is a descendant of that celebrated man, I cannot exactly say, seeing that he is the celebrated man himself; and it is a mere fable that he was buried about two hundred years ago at Delft. Believe it, my dear Mr. Tyss, or else you might doubt that I am the renowned Swammerdamm, although, for the sake of shortness and that I may not have to answer the questions of every curious blockhead, I call myself Swammer. Every one maintains that I died in the year 1680, but you see, Mr. Tyss, that I stand before you alive and hearty; and that I am really I, I can prove even to the dullest, from my Biblia Naturæ. You believe me, my worthy Mr. Tyss?"

"Since a short time–" said Mr. Tyss, in a tone that showed his mental perplexity, "since a short time I have experienced so many wonders, that I should be in perpetual doubt, if the whole had not been a manifest subject of the senses. But now I believe every thing, however wild and fantastic. It may be that you are the dead John Swammerdamm, and, therefore, as a dead-alive, know more than other common men; but as to the flight of Dörtje Elverdink, or the Princess Gamaheh, or however else the lady may be called, you are in a monstrous error. Hear how the matter really happened."

Peregrine now related, quite calmly, the adventure he had with the lady, her entrance into Lemmerhirt's room, up to her reception with Mr. Swammer, who, when he had done, replied, "It seems to me, as if all, that you have been pleased to relate, were nothing more than a singular, yet very pleasant, dream. I will, however, let that be, and request your friendship, which perhaps I may have much need of. Forget my morose conduct, and let us be more intimate. Your father was a shrewd man and my good friend, but in regard to science, depth of understanding, mature judgment, and practiced insight into life, the son goes before the father. You know not how much I esteem you, my worthy Mr. Tyss."

"Now is the time!" whispered Master Flea, and in the same moment Peregrine felt a slight passing pain in the pupil of his left eye. He knew that Master Flea had placed the microscopic glass in his eye, but he had not before had the slightest idea of its effects. Behind the tunicle of Swammer's eyes he perceived strange nerves and branches, the perplexed course of which he traced deep into the forehead, and could perceive that they were Swammer's thoughts. They ran much in this way;–"I did not expect to get off so easily here, without being better questioned. If papa was an ignoramus, of whom I never thought any thing, the son is still worse, with a greater infusion of childishness. With the simplicity of an idiot, he tells me the whole adventure with the Princess, not seeing that she must have already told me all, as my behaviour to her of necessity presupposes an earlier intimacy. But there is no help for it; I must speak him fair, because I want his help. He is simple enough to believe all I say, and, in his stupid good-nature, to make many a sacrifice to my interest, for which he will reap no other thanks than that, when all is over, and Gamaheh mine again, I shall laugh soundly at him behind his back."

"It seemed to me," said Swammer, coming close to Peregrine, "it seemed to me, my dear Mr. Tyss, as if a flea were on your collar."

The thoughts ran thus:–"The deuce! that was, indeed, Master Flea! It would be a queer piece of business if Gamaheh should be right after all."

Peregrine stepped nimbly back, protesting that he had no dislike to fleas.

"Then," replied Swammer, with a profound bow, "then for the present I most respectfully take my leave, my dear Mr. Tyss."

The thoughts ran thus:–"I wish the blackwinged devil had you, idiot!"

Master Flea took the microscopic glass out of the eye of the astonished Peregrine, and then said, "You have now, my dear sir, experienced the wonderful effects of the glass, which has not its equal in the world, and must perceive what a superiority it gives you over men, by laying open before your eyes their inmost thoughts. But, if you were to use it constantly, the perpetual knowledge of their real sentiments would overwhelm you, for the bitter vexation, which you have just now experienced, would be too often repeated. I will always be with you when you leave your house, sitting either in your collar, or in some convenient place, and if you wish to learn the thoughts of him who is conversing with you, you have only to snap your fingers, and the glass will be in your eye immediately."

Peregrine, seeing the manifest advantages of such a gift, was about to pour out the warmest thanks, when two deputies from the council entered, and announced to him that he was accused of a deep offence, the consequence of which must be preliminary imprisonment and the seizure of his papers.

Mr. Peregrine swore high and low that he was not conscious of the slightest offence; but one of the deputies replied with a smile, that perhaps in a few hours his innocence might be proved, till when, however, he must submit to the orders of the magistrate. After this, what was left to Mr. Tyss but to get into the coach, and suffer himself to be carried off to prison? It may be supposed with what feelings he passed Mr. Swammer's chamber.

Master Flea sate in the collar of the prisoner.

Fourth Adventure

Unexpected meeting of two friends.–Love-despair of the Thistle, Zeherit.–Optical duel of two magi.–Somnambulant condition of the Princess Gamaheh.–The thoughts of the dream.–How Dörtje Elverdink almost speaks the truth, and the Thistle, Zeherit, runs off with the Princess Gamaheh.

The mistake of the watchman in arresting Mr. George Pepusch for a thief was soon explained. In the mean time, however, some informalities had been discovered in his passport, and for this reason they required that he should produce some resident citizen of Frankfort as his bail, till when he must be contented with his present place in prison.

Here then sate Mr. George Pepusch in a very neat room, meditating on whom he could find in Frankfort to be his bail. He had been away so long that he feared he must be forgotten by those who had formerly known him well; and, as to foreign recommendations, he possessed none whatever. He began to look out of the window in a very melancholy mood, and cursed his fate aloud, when a window was opened close by him, and a voice exclaimed,–"What! do I see right? Is it you, George?" Mr. Pepusch was not a little astonished on perceiving the friend, with whom he had been most intimate during his residence at Madras. "The deuce!" he exclaimed, "that I should be so forgetful, so utterly stupid! I knew that you had got safely into harbour, and in Hamburg heard strange things of your way of living, and, when I had got here, never thought of paying you a visit. But he who has such wonderful things in his head as I have–Well, it is lucky that accident brought you to me! You see I am under arrest, but you can immediately set me free, by answering for my being really the George Pepusch, whom you knew years ago, and not a thief nor a robber."

"Why," replied Peregrine, "I should be an excellent bail, being myself under arrest!"

He now related at large to his friend, how since his return to Frankfort he had found himself deprived of both his parents, and had from that time led, amidst all the bustle of a city, a lonely joyless life, devoted to the memory of other days. To this George replied morosely, "Oh yes, I have heard of it, I have heard of the fools'-tricks you play, that you may waste life in a childish dream. You would be a hero of innocence, of childishness; and for this despise the just claims which society has upon you. You give imaginary family feasts, and bestow upon the poor the costly viands, the dear wines, which you have before served up to the dead. You give yourself Christmas-boxes, and act as if you were a child, and then present to poor children these gifts, which are of the sort usually wasted in rich houses upon spoiled young ones. But you do not reflect that you are doing a scurvy benefit to the poor in tickling their gums with delicacies, that they may doubly feel their wretchedness, when afterwards they are compelled, by pressing hunger, to eat the vile bits that would be rejected by many a petted lap-dog. Ha! how this alms-giving disgusts me, when I think that what you thus waste in a day would be sufficient to support them for months in a moderate manner. Then too you overload them with glittering gew-gaws, when a common toy, presented by their fathers or mothers, gives them infinitely more pleasure. They eat themselves sick with your infernal marchpane; and with the knowledge of your splendid gifts, which in the end must be denied to them, you sow in their young minds the seeds of discontent and uneasiness. You are rich, full of youth, and yet withdraw yourself from all society, and thus frustrate the approaches of well-meaning minds. I will believe that the death of your parents may have shaken you, but if every one, who has suffered a real loss, were to creep into his shell, by heavens! the whole world would be like a house of mourning, and I would not live in it. But, my friend! do you know that you are under the influence of the most determined egotism that ever lurked beneath a silly misanthropy?–Go, go, Peregrine, I can no longer esteem you, no longer be your friend, if you do not change this way of life, and give up your abominable system of house-keeping."

Peregrine snapped his fingers, and Master Flea instantly placed the microscopic glass in his eye. The thoughts of the angry Pepusch ran thus,–"Is it not a pity that such a kind, understanding man should fall into these dangerous fancies, which at last will completely unnerve him, and deprive him of his best powers? But it is evident that his delicate mind, which is besides inclined to melancholy, could not endure the blow inflicted on him by the death of his parents, and he seeks for consolation in a mode of life which borders upon madness. He is lost if I do not save him. The more I esteem him, the harder I will attack him, and the stronger I will paint his folly."

In these thoughts Peregrine saw that he had found his old friend unaltered; and, after Master Flea had taken the microscopic glass out of his eye, he said, "George, I will not contend with you as to what you say of my mode of life, for I know you mean it well with me; but I must tell you that it gives me real delight when I can make a day of festival to the poor, although in this I do not think of myself, a detestable egotism, of which at least I feel unconscious. They are the flowers in my life, which else seems to me like a wild melancholy field of thistles."

"What do you say of thistles?" interrupted George Pepusch hastily; "why do you despise thistles, and place them in opposition to flowers? Are you so little versed in natural history as not to know that the most wonderful blossom in the world is that of the thistle, I mean the Cactus grandiflorus. And again, is not the thistle, Zeherit, the most beautiful Cactus under the sun? Peregrine, I have so long kept it from you, or rather was forced to keep it from you, because I myself had not the full conviction of it; but now learn, that I myself am the thistle, Zeherit, and will never give up my claims to the hand of the daughter of the worthy king, Sekakis, the heavenly Princess Gamaheh. I had found her, but in the same moment the diabolical watchmen seized me, and dragged me to prison."

"How!" cried Peregrine, half petrified with astonishment, "are you too involved in the strangest of all histories?"

"What history?" asked Pepusch.

Peregrine did not hesitate to tell his friend, as he had before told Mr. Swammer, all that had happened at the bookbinder's, and afterwards at his own house. He did not even conceal the appearance of Master Flea, although, as may be easily supposed, he kept to himself the secret of his possessing the microscopic glass.

George's eyes burnt, he bit his lips, struck his forehead, and, when Peregrine had ended, cried out like a maniac, "The false one! the traitress!" Greedy, in the self-pangs of despairing love, to drain the last drop from the poison-cup, which Peregrine had unconsciously proffered him, he made him repeat every little trait of Dörtje's behaviour, interrupting him with murmurs of–"In the arms! on the breast! glowing kisses!" Then again he started away from the window, and ran about the room with the gestures of a madman. In vain Peregrine cried out to him to hear the rest, exclaiming that he had much that was consolatory to say–Pepusch did not the more leave off his raving.

The door was opened, and an officer of the council announced to Peregrine that no sufficient cause had been found for his longer imprisonment, and he might return home.

The first use Peregrine made of his regained freedom was to offer himself as bail for George Pepusch, testifying that he was really George Pepusch, with whom he had lived in intimacy at Madras, and who was known to him for a man of fortune and respectability.

Master Flea exhausted himself in very philosophic and instructive reflections, which amounted to this, that the Thistle, Zeherit, in spite of his rough exterior, was very kind and reasonable, but a little too overbearing, and, fairly considered, was quite correct in his censure of Mr. Peregrine's way of life, though somewhat too harsh perhaps in his expressions. He too,–that is, Master Flea,–would really advise Mr. Peregrine henceforth to go abroad in the world.

"Believe me," he said, "it will bring you many advantages to leave your solitude. You need no longer fear seeming shy and confused, as, with the mysterious glass in your eye, you command the thoughts of men, and it is, therefore, impossible that you should not always maintain the right tact. How firmly and calmly may you stand before the highest, while their inward souls lie open to your eyes. Therefore, move freely in the world; your blood will circulate more lightly, all melancholy brooding will cease, and, which is the best of all, motley ideas and thoughts will arise in your brain, the image of the fair Gamaheh will lose its brightness, and you will soon be better able to keep your word with me."

Peregrine felt that both George Pepusch and Master Flea meant him well, and he resolved to follow their wise advice. But when he heard the sweet voice of his beautiful beloved, he could not think how it was possible for him to leave the house, which had become a paradise to him.

At length he brought himself to visit a public promenade. Master Flea had fixed the glass in his eye, and taken up a place in his collar, where he gently rocked himself to and fro at his ease.

"Have I at last the pleasure of seeing my good friend Mr. Tyss again? You make yourself scarce, my dear sir, and we have all been longing for you. Let us go into a coffeehouse, and take a glass of wine together. I am truly rejoiced to see you."

It was thus that he was addressed by a young man, whom he had seen scarcely two or three times. The thoughts ran thus;–"Is the stupid misanthrope visible again? But I must flatter him, that I may soon borrow money of him. He'll not surely be possessed by the devil, and accept my invitation; I have not a halfpenny in my pocket, and no innkeeper will trust me any longer."

Two well-dressed girls now crossed him. They were sisters, distantly related to him.

"Ah, cousin!" cried one of them, laughing, "do we meet you at last? It is not well done to lock yourself up so that one can never get a sight of you. You do not know how fond mamma is of you, because you are such a sensible man. Promise me to come soon. There, kiss my hand." The thoughts ran thus;–"How! what is this? what has come to our cousin? I wanted to make him blush and stammer, and formerly he used to run away from every girl; but now he stands and eyes me so strangely, and kisses my hand without the least shyness. If he should be in love with me? That would be a fine thing! My mother says that he is somewhat stupid, but what does that signify? I will have him: a stupid man, when he is rich, as my cousin is, is the very best." The sister had merely lisped, with downcast eyes and blushing cheeks, "Come to us shortly, dear cousin." The thoughts ran thus:–"Our cousin is a very handsome man, and I do not understand why mamma calls him silly, and can't endure him. If he should come to our house, he will fall in love with me, for I am the prettiest girl in all Frankfort. I will have him, because I want a rich man, that I may sleep till twelve o'clock in the day, and wear dearer shawls than my sister."

A physician, in passing, perceived Peregrine, stopped his carriage, and called out, "Good morning, my dear sir; you look uncommonly well; heaven keep you so! But, if any thing should happen, think of me, the old friend of your late father: such sound constitutions as yours I can soon set to rights. Adieu." The thoughts ran thus:–"I believe the fellow is constantly well out of pure avarice; but he looks tolerably pale now, and seems at last to have something the matter with him. Well; only let him once come under my hands, and he shall not soon get up from his bed again; he shall undergo a sound penance for his obstinate health."

Immediately after this, an old merchant cried out to him, "My best greetings to you, worthy Mr. Tyss; see how I am forced to run and bustle, and plague myself with business. You have done wisely in withdrawing from it, though with your quicksightedness you could not fail of doubling your father's fortune." The thoughts were thus:–"If the fool would only meddle with business, he would speculate away his whole fortune in a short time, and that would be a real delight. His old papa, whose joy was in ruining other people that wished to help themselves by a little bankruptcy, would turn himself about in his grave."

Many more such cutting contrasts between words and thoughts occurred to Peregrine. He always directed his answers rather by what people meant than by what they said, and, as he penetrated into their inmost intents, they themselves were puzzled what to think of him. At last he felt wearied, snapped his fingers, and immediately the glass vanished from the pupil of his left eye.

On returning to his house he was surprised by a strange spectacle. A man stood in the middle of the passage, looking steadfastly through a strangely-formed glass at Mr. Swammer's door. Upon this door sun-bright circles played in rainbow colours, and then met in one fiery point, that seemed to pierce through the wood. As this took place a deep sighing was heard, broken by cries of pain, which came, as it appeared, from the room. To his horror, Peregrine fancied that he distinguished Gamaheh's voice.

"What do you want? what are you doing here?" he exclaimed to the man, who really seemed to be practising diabolic arts, the rainbow circles growing with every moment quicker and brighter, the centre-point piercing more keenly, and the cries sounding more painfully from the chamber.

"Oh!" exclaimed the stranger, closing his glass, and hastily putting it into his pocket,–"Oh! the landlord. Your pardon, my dear sir, that I am operating here without your permission; I did indeed pay you a visit to request it, but Alina told me you had gone out, and the business here would admit of no delay."

"What business?" said Peregrine, pretty harshly; "what business is it that will admit of no delay?"

"Don't you know," replied the stranger with an odious grin, "don't you know that my ill-advised niece, Dörtje Elverdink, has run away? You were arrested, though with great injustice, as her seducer, on which score I will with great pleasure testify your perfect innocence, if it should be requisite. It is not to you, but to Swammerdamm, once my friend, and now my enemy, that the faithless Dörtje has fled. She is in that chamber–I know it–and alone, since Swammerdamm has gone out. I cannot get in, as the door is barred and bolted, and I am too mild to employ force; but I have taken the liberty to torment her a little with my optical glass, that she may know I am her lord and master in spite of her imaginary princess-ship."

"You are the devil!" exclaimed Peregrine, in the highest indignation,–"you are the devil! but not lord and master of the beautiful Gamaheh. Out of my house! Practise your devil's tricks where you will, but here you will fail with them, I can promise you."

"Don't put yourself in a passion," replied Leuwenhock; "don't put yourself in a passion, my dear Mr. Tyss; I am an innocent man, who mean nothing but good. It is a little monster, a little basilisk, that sits in yonder room, in the shape of a lovely woman. If the abode with my insignificance displeased her, she might have fled; but the traitress should not have robbed me of my most precious treasure, the best friend of my soul, without whom I am nothing. She should not have run away with Master Flea. You will not understand what I mean, worthy sir, but–"

Here Master Flea, who had planted himself in a secure place, could not refrain from bursting out into a fine mocking laugh.