The Boy Toy

T.J., a more traditional, coiffed blonde nodded as she toyed with a shrimp entree embellished with marinara sauce and goat cheese. “I agree with Erin. Just because you sent that jerk Adam packing doesn’t mean you should give up on men in general. Where would I be if I’d adopted that attitude?”

Allison flipped her heavy, golden brown hair away from her face. “This said by the rarest of all breeds—a young, upwardly mobile, happily married woman.”

“Not always that happy,” T.J. quickly amended. “My marriage has been hard work, but it’s worth it.”

Hard work. Expression grim, Allison considered her last few weeks with Adam—the endless fights, the recriminations, the tears, until finally she’d gathered the strength of will to show him the door. “Maybe I don’t want to work so hard anymore.”

“You’re just burned out, hon,” T.J. sympathized. “Really, you should consider yourself lucky that Adam didn’t get his hooks deeper into you, and go on to tackle the next challenge.”

Erin nodded firmly. “That’s just how I felt when Troy and I divorced. You should celebrate your wisdom in dumping him and move on.”

“Move on to what?” inquired Allison with a gesture of exasperation. “Let’s face it, girls. We’ve been having this same discussion ever since good old Highland Park High School. Three starry-eyed dreamers out searching for the perfect man. Well, guess what, ladies? The guy doesn’t exist. I’ve looked for Mr. Right in every possible incarnation, and the bottom line is…well, they’re all Mr. Wrong.”

“Oh, come on, Allie,” scolded T.J., but with a smirk. “The male dating pool isn’t that dismal.”

“Isn’t it?” Allison retorted. “To me, all men are pretty lame. They’re geeks, they’re jocks or they’re jerks. They’re nice and married, or they’re nice and gay. They’re too self-centered or they’re too needy. Like that spoiled doctor’s son who blew his education trust on ski trips to Breckenridge, and wanted me to put him through med school. Or Adam, who was so intimidated by my success that he wanted me to abandon my career, marry him, move with him to Wyoming, of all places, and become a little baby maker.”

T.J. chuckled. “Hon, you’re a killer in the looks department. How can any man look at you and not start imagining his future children?”

As a passing waiter gave Allison the once-over in confirmation of her friend’s words, she cast the man a cool glance. “That’s just my point. Men see me and immediately create some decadent fantasy of champagne, black lingerie and whipped cream. Just because I’m tall and leggy—”

“Don’t forget voluptuous, and drop-dead beautiful,” put in Erin mischievously.

“Come on, guys, give me a break,” protested Allison, blushing. “My point is, men see the exterior package only and conclude that I can’t possibly have a brain. Then they try to figure out how best to use me as their little pleasure vessel. Just like Adam, they all want to control me, fit me into some preconceived mold, rather than accept me the way I am.”

“And you find that shocking?” inquired T.J. “I think Don and I went out four times before he realized I’m actually an office manager and not just the girl who answers the phones at Cushman and Dodd. But he has pretty much accepted my career.”

Allison smiled. “T.J., I know you love your job, and I’m not saying this to put you down. But my situation is different from yours. Your husband is an oil trader, for heaven’s sake, and makes three times what you do. What if the reverse were true, as in the case of Erin and me—”

“Yeah, Allie with her pill pushing and me with my shoe pushing,” teased Erin, who sold Houston’s richest women five-hundred-dollar pumps on commission at the Galleria’s most upscale boutique.

Annoyed, Allison fixed Erin with a stern look. “Cool it, babe. Let’s face it—my pharmaceuticals do humanity a lot more good than your overpriced killer stilettos.”

“Pharmaceuticals?” Erin mocked. “Now who’s talking overpriced?”

Allison restrained the urge to comment. “My point is this, T.J.—what if you were the one bringing home the lion’s share of the income in your family? Wouldn’t Don find that threatening?”

“Yes, I suppose he would,” she admitted honestly.

“All of which just reinforces my conclusion that all men are insecure as well as emotionally immature,” Allison went on. “They’re thrown by a really strong woman. Adam in particular was just so needy. He never cared when I had a problem at work or with my family. But how many nights did I stay up holding his hand while he whined about how he was getting screwed at work, or how he would never meet his father’s expectations when he took over his insurance agency in Jackson? I got so tired of it all. Why, he even had the gall to complain that he wasn’t getting enough emotional support from me.”

“Meaning sex or sympathy?” teased Erin.

“Meaning both.” Allison frowned. “And you know, there’s something decidedly unsexy about dealing with an emotional cripple.”

T.J. whistled. “Emotional cripple? Don’t you think you’re being a bit harsh, Allie? You always claimed Adam had his finer points….”

Allison laughed ruefully. “All right. I’ll admit he was okay in bed, and if I weren’t a young woman with certain, er, needs, I would have sworn off him long before now.” Her blue eyes grew tempestuous. “But you know, after a while of feeling so used, so drained by him, even sex became a turnoff. That’s the real kicker, girls. You share your life with someone for so many months, and in the end it becomes messy, demeaning and…well, it just hurts.”

“I know, sweetie,” Erin rejoined, patting Allison’s hand. “But don’t toss in the towel. I remember how tough you were in high school. T.J. and I would bawl our eyes out because the football captain snubbed us, while you’d just break guys’ hearts right and left and move on. Surely there’s some kind of man out there who would appeal to you.”

Allison gave a shrug. “Well, I’m not sure, but a girl’s gotta wonder…” Taking a deep breath, she demanded, “Where is this new breed we’ve been hearing about—the millennium man? A man confident of himself and his own sexuality, who will meet a woman on equal terms in an uncomplicated relationship?”

Again both of Allison’s friends burst out laughing. “Uncomplicated?” scoffed Erin. “Allie, I thought my ex was a liberated woman’s dream come true, a real sweetheart, until I discovered he was majorly sweet on his mother, too, and couldn’t cut the apron strings.”

“I agree,” seconded T.J. with feeling. “Every man has some kind of issue, some kind of baggage. Don is a very nice guy, but he’s also very high-maintenance. Our marriage has been a real struggle at times, not to mention a series of compromises. Like next year, we’re planning to start a family. I’ll have to take maternity leave, even though I know it’s not the best timing for my career.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a really great compromise,” mocked Allison. “As usual, Don is getting his way.”

“Allison, that’s not fair,” T.J. protested. “The truth is, I want a baby, and the timing is never going to be perfect. It’s not like Don can quit his job and have the little darling himself, then nurse him or her for six months.”

“Hey, T.J., I’m sorry,” Allison soothed, feeling contrite. “And you do have a point. When I have kids, I’ll only hope I can be as dedicated a mom as you’ll be, especially in those first few years.”

“But from what you’re saying, you don’t really want the home and family scene at all, do you?” T.J. pursued. “Isn’t that the real reason you broke up with Adam? Because you didn’t want to settle with him in Jackson once he took over his father’s agency?”

Allison hesitated, frowning. “The truth is, I do want a family, but when I’m ready, on my terms. I won’t have some guy dictating to me when I’m going to quit my job, leave Houston, and become barefoot and pregnant.”

“It also sounds as if this Mr. Perfect you’re looking for may not even exist,” T.J. went on wisely. “Talk about having high expectations—”

“Yeah, Allison,” Erin chided. “I think you need to get real. You spout all these lofty platitudes about meeting the ideal man, when it sounds to me like the only kind of guy who might meet your standards is some pleasant geek like Doc Tracy—and he’d bore you to death.”

Allison glowered at her friend. “Hey, Erin, no casting aspersions on my professor brother.” Inwardly, however, she had to concede that Erin had made a valid point. Her brother Doug was a very nice man, but was no woman’s definition of a heartthrob.

“Have you talked to Doug about your man problems?” T.J. inquired playfully. “After all, he’s a guy.”

Allison chuckled. “I’m afraid my scholarly older brother already thinks his wild younger sister is ‘a pox on all manhood,’ to quote his medieval vernacular. He’d likely advise that I memorize all twenty-four installments of The Canterbury Tales—in Middle English.”

Amid laughter, Erin flashed the others a sly grin. “You know, girls, maybe we’re looking at this from the wrong angle. Perhaps the ideal man for Allie does exist—just not in the version she’s envisioning.”

“Meaning what?” asked Allison, intrigued.

Erin tapped her head with a beautifully manicured fingernail. “As always, Allie, you’re being too damn smart for your own good, attacking this on too cerebral a level.”

“Okay,” she muttered, confused.

“Be honest, now. Every time you have a halfway serious relationship with a guy, these control issues come up, don’t they?”

“Well, yeah,” Allison acknowledged.

“So why don’t you just admit that you’ve been chasing your own tail?”

“I’ve been what?”

Erin’s expression gleamed with secret merriment. “Allie, hon, I love you to death, but the truth is, you’re a serial monogamist who goes through men like the rest of us girls run through panty hose. So why not simply acknowledge the truth—that what you really want from a relationship at this stage of your life is far from intellectual.”

“Ah, so we’re back to sex again.” Allison smirked.

“So we are. Going back to T.J.’s argument that all men have baggage, I have to agree in principle. My ex, Troy, presented himself as the ultimate millennium man, smart and cool, but he had tons of excess neuroses. Dealing with him was positively exhausting in the end. So I’m betting what you really need here is not a so-called free thinker at all, but…” Erin paused to wink conspiratorially. “…maybe a boy toy.”