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21 Steps To Happiness
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Год написания книги
2018
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If only I could be mute.
“Sure….” He makes a weird gesture that doesn’t mean much to me. Maybe he just wants to say that I am by far the weirdest, most disturbing person he has ever met.
“See you then,” I say, but he is already gone.
I fall flat on my bed in my beautiful suite.
I pick up the phone and follow the instructions to make an international call.
“Er…what?” Delia answers.
Delia is my best friend. I hold her partly responsible for my being in Paris. She’s the one that said, Hey, why don’t you phone your mother. She can get you a job as a receptionist or something.
But she didn’t know that Jodie doesn’t do anything like normal folks.
Like, if you suggest a gym subscription for your birthday, she sends her chauffeur with an Australian personal trainer that you’re also supposed to lodge.
“I met someone,” I say on the phone.
“What? Lynn?”
“I met someone.”
“You…Do you know what time it is?”
I lie on the bed. If only she could see the smile on my face.
“I’m in bed,” she protests. “I’m sleeping! The whole freaking city is asleep! Are you crazy?”
“He’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. And he is…so refined. And he…he…”
She finally caves in. “What’s his name?”
“Nicolas.”
“French?”
“You bet!”
“Mmm…I don’t like it. I don’t trust those European types. Great sex. Great fun. They even seem to really listen to you. There’s definitely something suspicious about them. Are you in love?”
I rock on the bed and play with the phone cord. I’m a teenager again!
“I don’t know. I just met him.”
“He’s French, use a condom.”
“Delia!”
“Is he hot?”
“Aaaaaaargh!”
“You lucky thing!”
We laugh.
“Delia…He doesn’t like me.”
“Of course he likes you. Everybody likes you.”
“No, he really doesn’t. How could he? He is so handsome and so…and so…everything…and I’m…well, I’m me.”
“Nonsense! You’re hot!”
“I’m so not.”
“Miss Blanchett, you listen to me. This guy…this Nikoooolaz, he doesn’t deserve you.”
I don’t say a thing.
“Lynn, tell me you will come back.”
Silence.
“You’re not permanently moving to France for a man, are you?”
Well…I make a quick mental calculation.
I am ugly: -2
I am very poorly dressed: -2
I am exotic and foreign: +1
I am faking anorexia: -2
I drink trim lattes, no foam: +2
I like to ride on the back of his scooter: +2
I get crazy hairdos after riding on his scooter: -1
I feel madly attracted to the most beautiful, most charming Frenchman: +2
Total: 0
Even Steven!
Последний отзыв
Книгу прочитать не могу, везде ЛитРес свой нос сунул, как и где скачать полную версию бесплатно!?!?