Day of Atonement

Ezra looked down the sidewalks again. Lots of people walking home from synagogue. But nowhere was his son.

“Want me to look for him, Ez?” Jonathan said. To Decker he said, “Noam wanders off all the time. Maybe now’s a good time to reestablish some contact.”

Ezra took off his hat, adjusted the black yarmulke underneath, then returned the hat to his head. He rocked on his feet for a moment, then said, “Do you mind, Yonie?”

“No problem,” Jonathan said.

“I’ll come with you,” Decker blurted.

Rina gave Decker a look of surprise. “Anything to get out of lunch.”

Decker tossed her a smile laced with emotion. Immediately, Rina felt his sadness. What that smile had told her.

Jonathan.

His brother.

Talk about establishing contact.

Decker caught himself. “I’m not trying to get out of anything. I just thought Jonathan might want to avail himself of my trained eye.”

Everyone burst into laughter that held more relief than mirth.

8 (#ulink_3095ef95-e612-5222-a214-2da189bc0019)

It was taking too long, everyone making desperate excuses for the delay.

“They got lost,” Breina said. “Go look for them, Ezra.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Ezra countered. “Yonie grew up here.”

“Yonie’s been away,” Breina fired back.

Shimon said, “Yonie didn’t get lost, Breina. Calm down. They’ll be back soon. Yonie probably started talking to someone and forgot there are forty people waiting for him to come back. You know how he is.”

“He’s the absentminded professor, Breina,” Miriam said. “Don’t worry.”

“He’s impossible when it comes to time,” Faygie added.

“Always late,” Rina’s sister-in-law, Esther, chimed in.

Rina didn’t buy it. Even if Jonathan was irresponsible, Peter certainly wasn’t. But she didn’t say anything.

Everyone was quiet for a minute. Ezra broke the silence.

“I thought you were watching him,” he scolded his wife.

“I had the girls,” Breina said. “The boys are your responsibility.”

“Noam’s a year past bar mitzvah,” Ezra said. “I should watch him like an infant?”

“I’m not saying you should watch him like an infant,” Breina said. “But you can keep your eyes open. You know how Noam is. Lost in his own world. Just like Yonasan—”

“So if you know how he is,” Ezra interrupted, “you can’t keep your eyes open?”

Breina repeated, “He’s just like Yonasan—”

Frieda Levine broke in. “Stop bickering, both of you. You’re making all of us nervous.” But Frieda’s sense of dread had started long before this happened.

This was not something that would right itself. This was Yad Elokeem—the hand of God—punishing her, condemning her for not being strong enough. It had taken Him forty-one years, but she’d known that the time would come eventually. And now He had chosen the weakest of her sons, her most vulnerable grandchild, knowing how much it would hurt.

Her lost child—had he come as part of God’s vengeance? Or had he been sent for some other reason? Perhaps the Almighty in His infinite wisdom was also testing her. Perhaps she could earn redemption if she showed herself worthy—worthy of His mercy, worthy of Akiva’s mercy.

Whatever was expected of her, whatever she must do, she would do. She would be strong. To her husband, Frieda said, “Make kiddush. Akiva and Yonasan will make their own kiddush when they come back.”

Alter Levine was sitting at one of the folding tables, a volume of Talmud in front of him. He looked up when he heard his wife speak, but returned his attention to the Talmud when no one else moved.

Ezra gathered his other children and asked, “Who was the last one to see Noam?”

Aaron, the eldest, said, “He walked to shul with us, Abba. I davened after that. I didn’t pay attention to him.”

“He probably went to a friend’s, Ezra,” Miriam said. “He shows up at my house unannounced all the time.”

“He does?” Ezra said. “What does he want?”

“I don’t think he wants anything, Ezra.”

“What does he do then?”

“I don’t know. I give him a snack.”

“He can’t come home for a snack?” Breina said.

“It’s part of being a teenager, Breina. Sometimes a snack at your aunt’s house is better than a snack at home. Maybe he went to a friend’s house for a snack.”

“On Rosh Hashanah?” Breina said.

“Maybe he went to your brother’s,” Ezra said. “If he went to one relative, maybe he went to another?”

“Enough!” Frieda said. She turned to her husband and again instructed him to make kiddush.

“No one is sitting,” Alter said.

“Everyone sit down,” Shimmy said.

“Where should we sit, Frieda?” asked Sora Lazarus.

The next few minutes were spent trying to get everyone seated. Rina instructed the boys to sit at the same table as their cousins. She asked them if they had seen Noam. Both shook their heads no.