Memories: A Story of German Love

["Das beste solte das liebste sin, und in diser libe solte nicht angesehen werden nuss und unnuss, fromen oder schaden, gewin oder vorlust, ere oder unere, lob oder unlob oder diser keins, sunder was in der warheit das edelste und das aller beste ist, das solt auch das allerliebste sin, und umb nichts anders dan allein umb das, das es das edelst und das beste ist. Hie nach mocht ein mensche sin leben gerichten von ussen und von innen. Von ussen: wan under den creaturen ist eins besser dan das ander, dar nach dan das ewig gut in einem mer oder minner schinet und wurket dan in dem andern. In welchem nun das ewig gut aller meist schinet, luchtet, wurket und bekant und geliebet wirt, das ist ouch das beste under den creaturen; und in welchem dis minst ist, das ist ouch das aller minst gut. So nu der mensche die creatur handelt und da mit umb get, und disen underscheit bekennet, so sol im ie die beste creatur die liebste sin und sol sich mit flis zu ir halden und sich da mit voreinigen. . ."]

"The best should be the most loved, and in this love there should be no consideration of advantage or disadvantage, gain or loss, honor or dishonor, praise or blame, or anything else, but of that which in reality is the noblest and best, which should be the dearest of all; and for no other reason, but because it is the noblest and best. According to this a man should plan his inner and outer life. From without: if among mankind there is one better than another, in proportion as the eternally good shines or works more in one than in another. That being in whom the eternally good shines, works, is known and loved most, is therefore the best among mankind; and in whom this is most, there is also the most good. As now a man has intercourse with a being, and apprehends this distinction, then the best being should be the dearest to him, and he should fervently cling to it, and unite himself with it. . . . . ."

"Because you are the most perfect creature that I know, Marie, therefore I am good to you, therefore you are dear to me, therefore we love each other. Speak the word which lives in you, say that you are mine. Deny not your innermost convictions. God has imposed a life of suffering upon you. He sent me to bear it with you. Your sorrow shall be my sorrow, and we will bear it together, as the ship bears the heavy sails which guide it through the storms of life into the safe haven at last."

She grew more and more silent, A gentle flush played upon her cheeks like the quiet evening gleam. Then she opened her eyes full—the sun gleamed all at once with marvellous lustre.

"I am yours," said she. "God wills it. Take me just as I am; so long as I live I am yours, and may God bring us together again in a more beautiful life, and recompense your love."

We lay heart to heart. My lips closed the lips upon which had just now hung the blessing of my life, with a gentle kiss. Time stood still for us. The world about us disappeared. Then a deep sigh escaped from her breast. "May God forgive me for this rapture," she whispered. "Leave me alone now, I cannot endure more. Auf wiedersehen! my friend, my loved one, my savior."

These were the last words I ever heard from her. But no—I had reached home and was lying upon my bed in troubled dreams. It was past midnight when the Hofrath entered my room. "Our angel is in Heaven," said he; "here is the last greeting she sends you." With these words he gave me a letter. It enclosed the ring which she had given me, and I once had given her, with the words: "As God wills." It was wrapped in an old paper, whereon she had some time written the words I spoke to her when a child: "What is thine, is mine. Thy Marie."

Hours long, we sat together without speaking. It was a spiritual swoon which Heaven sends us when the load of pain becomes greater than we can bear. At last the old man arose, took my hand and said: "We see each other to-day for the last time, for you must leave here, and my days are numbered. There is but one thing I must say to you—a secret which I have carried all my life, and confessed to no one. I have always longed to confess it to some one. Listen to me. The spirit which has left us was a beautiful spirit, a majestic, pure soul, a deep, true heart. I knew one spirit as beautiful as hers—still more beautiful. It was her mother. I loved her mother, and she loved me. We were both poor, and I struggled with life to obtain an honorable position both on her account and my own. The young Prince saw my bride and loved her. He was my Prince; he loved her ardently. He was ready to make any sacrifice and to elevate her, the poor orphan, to the rank of Princess. I loved her so that I sacrificed the happiness of my love for her. I forsook my native land and wrote her I would release her from her vow. I never saw her again, except on her death-bed. She died in giving birth to her first daughter. Now you know why I loved your Marie, and prolonged her life from day to day. She was the only being that linked my heart to this life. Bear life as I have borne it. Lose not a day in useless lamentation. Help mankind whenever you can. Love them and thank God that you have seen and known and loved on this earth such a human heart as hers—and that you have lost it."

"As God will." said I, and we parted for life.

* * * * *

And days and weeks and months and years have flown. Home is a stranger to me, and a foreign land is my home. But her love remains with me, and as a tear drops into the ocean, so has her love dropped into the living ocean of humanity and pervades and embraces millions—millions of the "strange people" whom I have so loved from childhood.

* * * * *

Only on quiet summer days like this, when one in the green woods has nature alone at heart, and knows not whether there are human beings. without, or he is living entirely alone in the world, then there is a stir in the graveyard of memory, the dead thoughts, rise again, the full omnipotence of love returns to the heart and streams out from that beautiful being who once looked upon me with her deep unfathomable eyes. Then it seems as if the love for the millions were lost in the love for the one, my good angel, and my thoughts are dumb in the presence of the incomprehensible enigma of endless and everlasting love.