Anna and the Black Knight: Incorporating Anna’s Book

One evening I had been explaining to Anna how to tell the time from a sundial. Early next morning I took her to see the sundial in the local churchyard. I pointed to the part that cast the shadow and said this is called the ‘Gnomon’. As usual, I had to write this word down on a piece of paper. Later that day the word Gnomon had to be looked up in the dictionary. The definition read ‘That part of a parallelogram left over when a similar parallelogram is taken from its corner.’

This idea was passed over for about a year until it became another idea to work on. What excited her was the fact that it came from a Greek word meaning ‘Indicator’.

As she carefully wrote this down on her piece of paper, her eye caught the next word ‘Gnosis’ – knowledge of spiritual mysteries.

This bit of information made Anna search for all the words that started with the letters GN, which you must admit is an odd combination. All these words were carefully written down – gnarled, gnash, gnat, gnathic, gnaw, gneiss, gnome, gnomic, gnomon, gnosis, gnu.

Anna felt that these strange words which all started with GN ought, because of their very strange beginnings, to have something in common. And then – on the same page, was the word GOD. I did try to explain to her, but it was no use, she had found her clue, the GN words now made sense.

Serendipity is the faculty of making happy and unexpected discoveries by chance.

On one evening we were scribbling numbers and ideas on pieces of paper. I was trying to explain to Anna the mysteries of the binary system by asking the question what is the fewest number of weights and what is the value of the weights that would enable you to weigh anything up to 1,000 lbs in steps of lib; after a little while she grasped the idea of how to ‘do it’:

1, 2, 4, 8, 16, 32, 64, 128, 256, 512.

It was then quite clear to her that these 10 weights could weigh up to 1,023 lbs. This was certainly one of those beautiful things that had to be written down and treasured.

All this was nice and organized, but things are not always quite like you work them out. The greengrocer in the market didn’t do things quite like that. Anna took me to the market place to show me this new miracle. On our workings out we had put the article to be weighed in the left pan and the weights in the right pan, but the man in the market place wasn’t doing this, for he seemed to put weights in either pan. It certainly looked as if the man was cheating, so we went back to working it out again. In the first case we only put the weights in the right-hand pan, and in the second case you could put the weights in the right-hand pan or maybe the left hand or sometimes even both, and the numbers we had found for the first case certainly didn’t work in the second case, so I had to explain how to work out these other weights, and they turned out to be 1, 3, 9, 27, 81, 243, 729.

This is a story about the very very first..Mister God is very very old, but a long time ago he was yung and before that he was only a baby and before that he was not even born and their was not a world and their was not a star and there was not anything.

But there was Mister God’s Mummy and Daddy. But you could not see them. And you could not see them because they were so big.

If you have a very little thing, you have to go very clos befor you can see it and if you go far away, you cant. If you have a montain wich is big you cant see the top if you are clos, but you can if you go far away and this is like Mister God’s Mummy and Daddy. You cant go far away from them, so you cant see them. If you go too far away, you can see them but you get very lonly, so you cant. So you have to stay very clos and you know they are there but you cant see them, so that is why they had a little baby.

Well, you see, when the little baby GOD was getting redy to be born he was in his mummy woom, that is were all the babys is made. It is very dark in there. When the baby GOD was born, then he must have some light and when his Mummy and Daddy had a party to selebrate with all the angles, they put lots and lots of light in the sky and made it look pritty and this is stars. The Mummy and Daddy are very polite and teech the little baby GOD to be polite too and to say ‘If you please’ and ‘No thank you’ and thing like that. The little GOD have all the thing he want. A gold spoon and a gold plate and a gold chair and everything and then he want a ball to play with, so his Mummy tuk a lot of dirt and spit on it and roll it into a ball and this is the world, so you can see how big the little baby GOD is.

All the thing was very pritty. And because the little GOD was very polite and kind he want to share all the thing, so he told his Mummy and his Mummy say I cant make you a little brother and sister because it take such a lot of time. And the little GOD said ‘Oh dere what shall I do’? And the Mummy say ‘I have got a good idea’ and she tuk off the table a looking glas and say ‘What can you see?’ So the lit-tie GOD look and say I can see my face, it is a reflekshun. And Mummy say ‘Can you play with yor reflekshun?’ and the little GOD say ‘How can I share all the pritty thing with my reflekshun? That is greedy’. And it is too!

Then the Mummy say ‘Do you know where you come from?’ and the little GOD say ‘Yes, I come from yor woom’ and the Mummy smile a big smile and say, ‘Yes, but first you come from a pictur in my hart and the picktur in the hart come true if you love them enogh. What is the picktur in yor hart little one?’ And the little GOD say ‘Ther is a picktur of people and animal and I want to share all this pritty things and you and Daddy and all the angels with the animals and people’.

In the night time all the picktur come true becase the little God love them so much. And all the people and animals come out of the little God’s hart. And you know your hart is not very big, so you can see for milions of people and animals to cum out, they must be very tiny and so they were. Well, at the very first everybody was happy and the little GOD teech the people to talk and play musik and make things and everybody was happy because all the people could see him.

But when the little God grow up, he got so big that nobody could see him and all the people tuk the pritty things and say ‘This is mine’. Of corse, they wasnt but that is what they said and then they got greedy and greedy and then start to hit each other and throw stomes and make boms. Because the little GOD grow up and got so big that they culdn’t see him and they neerly forgot him.

So a lot of people make a statoor of GOD small enogh to see and then another lot of people make another statoor of GOD and then they fite to see what statoor is best. And they make boms and guns and a lot of peple is hurt and it is very silly because Mister God is much bigger than statoors.

Well, Mister God luvs peple very much, so he says ‘I know what, people cant see me because I am too big, so I will send my little baby boy who is the rite sise’. So he send his little baby boy who is called Jether to a lady called Mary to luk arfter and Mister God say ‘That is all rite now, Jether is just the rite sise’. And you would think that was the end, would not you? Arfter all the trubble Mister God tuk, woodnt you? But it wasn’t, Oh no!

Anna very rarely used the name Jesus; she preferred the name Jether, which she found in the Concordance. This is the next name in the list of proper names in the Concordance. Its meaning is ‘He that excels or remains; or that examines, searches: or a line or string.’

It was the idea of ‘line or string’ that so attracted Anna. We had often spent hours lying on the deck of a deep water sailing vessel, listening to Niels’s explanation of what all the ropes and gear were for. The fact that every rope had a place and a purpose, and that Englishmen, Frenchmen and Germans, every nationality, understood where the rope for a certain sail was to be found, was sufficient for Anna to rename Jesus as Jether. Kurt, a German sailor, told Anna she was ‘wider sinn’, that is to say, ‘against the sense’.

When Jether was a man, he started to tell all the peple about Mister God, but a lot of peple didnt want to here because first Mister God was too big and then he was too little and peple are eccasperating. They dont know what they want. And Jether keep on telling the people ‘You have got to becum little Or you wont know’. And they want to be big alredy, And you cant, becase Fansy being born full sise! Then a lot of people cort Jether and put nales in him and stuck him on a tree and stuck sords in him and then he was ded. All because he wasnt big enogh. Some of the people nearly know him, but not qite and like the statoors of Mister God they was rong. So they had another fite and this time a . worse fite called a war and this time with tank and aroplane and peple keep on fiteing because they dont know what sise they are and they are silly, becase Mister God and Jether and Vrach and all the angels are so luving. So I will tell you sum story about them.

Vrach was Anna’s own spelling of the Hebrew word Ruach, meaning spirit or breath, which was used in the Old Testament but linked with the Holy Spirit of the New Testament. I was surprised these words – Vrach, Jether – were so important to her, but felt that she had to find her way, in her own words, in her relationship with Mister God.

If you dont know what Mister God and Jether and Vrach look like I will tell you. Now I will tell you about Mister God first. He dont luk like me and you. He has not go no arms and legs and no face and no body like me and you so you will know he luk diffrent but he luk very luvley all the sam.

If you go for a walk you see a lot of things and you think a lot of things in yore hed. Well one of the things you think of is going home. So then you think it is a long way away and all the thinks is insid you and yore home is outsid you. So when you go home, all you think cum out of you and yor home go insid you, you see. Wen I am not with Mummy I have a lot of think in my hed, I think I wish I culd hold Mummy hand and I wish I culd kiss Mummy and I wish I culd tuch Mummy, but it all stay in my hed. But when I go home, it all come out of my hed, becase I do it. And when I do, Mummy go insid me and I go insid Mummy. If I dont go insid Mummy, how can I luk at me because I luk the wrong way. So when I luv Mummy then I go insid her and luk out out of her eye and see me and see how much Mummy luv me and this is very nice and thriling.

If someone luv you they let you cum insid. But if they dont luv you, they dont. Well Mister GOD is like that to. He let you com insid and see yourself, but you got to let MISTER GOD cum in too, becase he want to luk out to see himself. You see, MISTER GOD dont like no reflekshun and if he dont luk out of peples eye, how do he know what peple think of him? and this is the only way MISTER GOD can see himself. If you luk in a luking glas and see yor face reflekshun and then wink yore rite eye, the reflekshun wink the othre one, but if you see your reflekshun wink its rite eye then you know it is not a reflekshun, but you.

Chapter Four (#ulink_be3f0c50-06ba-54c6-9d26-7e0e65b1b1b4)

The Story of Fin (#ulink_be3f0c50-06ba-54c6-9d26-7e0e65b1b1b4)

This is a story of Fin. Some people do not know how Fin is and I am sad for that because Fin is the best person in all of the world. Fin is very big and very strong but he is very delikat and very gentle. And he can frow me rigte up in the air like a bal and catsh me too. He is like a butefall flowre made from stone.

Fin say if you live in a howse and you let the window get sploshd and dirty and if you look out of the window it look like the world is dirty, but it is not. If you look inside it look dirty too but it is not dirty becase the window is dirty. Well I will say sum more of Fin becase Fin say all of the peple have two windows. First all peple have got eye window and then a hart window. The eye window is to look out and seen thing from and the hart window is to see inside to see you. Fin say wen you cry it is for to wash the window so you can see better.

One day I ask Fin for som sweet and Fin say no and I was sad and I cry som ters and I cry some ters to wash my eye window becas my eye window was all dirty, dirty with greedy for sweets. And Fin did not say nothing and Fin piket me up and put me to a luking glas to see my face reflecshun and it was all funy like rain on a hows window. And I culd not see proper and then I stop the cry and see Fin face reflecshun and it was all smilig. And so I smile too and then I see my eye sparklin becas I can see good. And then I see that Fin say no, becas he have got no mony, becas he give it all to Missis Barkr to buy som penuts to sell to get som mony to buy som food and I did not see good, becase I have got a dirty eye window and it was all splosht with greedy dirty.

Mrs Barker was a little old lady who sold peanuts outside the cinemas called the Coliseum and the Palladium in the Mile End Road. One day I found her without any stock – so we took a tram towards Aldgate and bought about £3 worth of peanuts, which we brought back to her.

Everybody has got a eye window and a hart window. Fin teech me how to clean my eye window and my hart window. And if you know Fin then you have got a very speshal Fin window. And this is very nice to have. If you take some dirt to Fin he say about it and make it lik dimons and if you take to Fin a tram tiket he make it like a butefall piktur. Fin is very very speshal and very very butefall but you have to be little inside or you can not see propre.

Anna and I explored dirt under the microscope, where anything seemed to be transformed. The tram tickets were of different colours and collected from the streets very easily, so they could be used to make patterns, or folded into complicated paper chains and even turned into Christmas decorations.

One day Fin was very sad becase Danny was kild with a big stiker (knife). So in the nighte I crep in bed with Fin. Fin go to slep and I then see the ters on his face becase we have a stret lighte in the stret to see with. I cry a bit too becase I was sad for Danny.

There is on thing abot Fin. A lot of time he is not full up with his self but is full up of some othre people. Som time he is just full up of his self. I like this time best of all becase I do not want to see no thing els and I am full up of laghin. I ask Fin can I have a nothre name and Fin say yes I can have two names. One is Mowse, becase Fin say I crep in his hart and make a nest ther. And the nothre name is Joy becase I make him hapy and I am very glad for that becase that is very very holy.

Somtime I think that Fin is an angel. If you want to know the diffrence from a person and an angel I will tell you. An angel is easy to get inside of, and a person is not. Every bit of an angel is inside and every bit of a person is not and most of a person is outside.

One person who is very special is dere Fin. It is like loking at the very very inside of love. All the thing are nice to do with Fin and some of the thing are very nice and special.

One of the nice things is to go for a walk with Fin in the simitery (cemetery). Only Fin do not call it a simitery. Fin call it an orchard, becase Mister God come to pick up the sols when they are redy like aples. I like going to the orchard with Fin becase there is no one ther, only ded one and Mister God and sols. Fin say no on go to the orchard becase people are afrade to be ded, but I am not afrade becase the orchard is very butefall and ther is million of flowre and it is sily to be a frade to be ded in all them flowre. When we go to the orchard Fin tell the name and how old and wen they was ded and ther are a lot of little children ded in the orchard. Only they are not ther no more, but they are in heven. When Fin tells the name, I say hello Susan this Anna and Fin talking and then I say how butefall the orchard is and thing like that and then we say a little prer and say will you give all our lov to Mister God and to Jether and to Vrach and to all the angel and to all the peple. What I am sory for is Judas and Pontas Pirot and all the peple that put Jether on the cross. And one day I cry in the orchard for them and Fin cudle me and then say we rite all the names of them on som paper and put it in a tin and put in the holy ground and leeve it to Mister God. Fin say every peple have got a bit of Judas inside and a bit of Pontos pilot inside and every peple put a nother nale in Jether.

Fin say one thing to remmber and this is it. If it is good to do, then do it, if it is not good to do, then do not do it. And so I say how do I know if it is good and Fin say it is easy. Do not git stuck inside of you, com out and go inside of peple and animles and flowres an trees and see if you like it and if you do like it, then it is good and if you do not like it, then it is bad. If you pertend to be a cat and you kik it, it hert, so it is bad. If you stroke it, it is nice, so it is good. Fin say if you lok at a howse on the outside it is a howse, but if you look at a howse on the inside, it is not a howse but it is a home. And that is like peple. If you lok at one on the outside it is a person, but if you lok at one in the inside then it has got a reel name. And so has everything got a reel name. Even flee and spidre. And Fin say somtime this is hard to lern, to see inside a thing. Somtime you can not tell becase a church look like a mewseum and lik a flic hows and you can not tell from the outside, but you can only tell from the inside and that is wat to be alive is.

Oh Oh Oh I do love Fin very much and I ask Mister God evernighte if I can marry Fin and have a hows and som baby too. If I am six and Fin is tweny then I can mary Fin when I am tweny and Fin is tirthy fore. I ask Jacky and Sally and Corry if they marry Fin first can I too and they say yes.

For nerly everybody down our stret say up the top (of the street) is bad, but it is not becase Fin say it is not bad. Nerly everbody say they are very wicked and they are not wicked becase Fin say we must not say that. Only Mister God can say that and Mister God is very good.

At the top corner of the street was a house that was a lot bigger than the rest. In this house lived Millie, Sally, Corey, and a few other young ladies. The fact that these young ladies were for the most part prostitutes was the reason why it was commonly called the ‘dirty house’. Anna had a vague idea of what it meant but that was no reason why she couldn’t be friends with the girls. In fact, she thought that Millie, who was usually known as the Venus de Mile End, was the most beautiful girl in the world and I would never have argued with that. The care and protection that these girls gave to Anna could not have been sweeter. I had known them for a number of years, and I knew them as very good friends. Given other circumstances they would have been different, but with poor homes, little education, and even less money, prostitution was the only way they knew how to make money. I have known these young ladies save over £200 to send little Maria to have her leg corrected after the ravages of rickets. It was more than I could have done.

Many times Anna and I have sat with them and so often the talk turned to the subject of religion and God. The passing years have made me realize that they were among the few people who could admit to themselves that they were sinners, but then they had families to keep and it was the only way they knew how.

Anna’s friendship with these young prostitutes taught her a lot – perhaps a bit too much, who knows. I do know that they were very careful in what they said when Anna was around, but things slip out occasionally and Anna, like most children, would often repeat what she had heard the older people say without knowing what was meant by it.

What was puzzling for me was the fact that some of the girl’s customers did regard themselves as good solid citizens, to say nothing of good churchgoers, but that was my problem, not Anna’s. For her the girls were just nice to be with. What puzzled Anna was how such nice people could be called ‘dirty’. Anna would have none of it, neither would I. Millie taught Anna how to make bead belts, necklaces and bracelets. All the adults for streets around knew what the girls did, but it was only Anna and her friends and me who knew what they could do. They were a bit special to those of us who knew them and definitely not dirty.

One of the thing that make me very sad is this. I wuld like all the big girls up the top to have real propre sweet love. Fin culd do it so gentle and sweet and culd make the big girls so hapy and holy and it wuld be so lovly.

Fin go up the top to see them and Fin mummy say I can go too and Fin mummy rote this on some paper and say to put it in my book. If they are blind, give them your hand, if they are in the dark, give them a candel. And then she laft out loud and say a candel calld Anna.

Chapter Five (#ulink_20ddaa34-8308-568c-a7e3-5ddbc49fb7bb)