In His Eyes

“Saturday?”

“Caitlin goes to elementary school during the week. I’d rather not take her out of classes.”

She hadn’t thought. “Saturday’s fine, Connor. I’ll be there in the early afternoon.” And get it over with.

He nodded as she forced her attention back to her lunch. But who felt like eating?

Chapter Two

Saturday, Ellene pulled into the Champion Auto Ferry parking lot and got in line with nothing to do but watch the ferry maneuver across Lake St. Clair from Harsens Island to the mainland. The wintry March sun struck the gray snow piled along the bank, but the feeble rays didn’t penetrate the cold outside her car. Enormous ice floes jammed against each other and struck the nose of the boat as it moved to shore.

She rolled down her window to pay the five-dollar toll while a bitter wind swept inside her car and sent a chill down her back. The outer cold seemed no more icy than her internal struggle.

Today she’d face Connor again, but this time on his turf. Since she’d seen him earlier in the week, she’d wavered between nostalgia and bitterness. The good times rolled sweetly into her thoughts, but she tossed them out like old shoes, not wanting to deal with the hurtful memories.

Ellene focused ahead of her, past the sun’s rays glinting off the hood of her car. Why couldn’t she let the sunny memories of their relationship stay forefront in her mind? She squinted at the glare as the ramp dropped into place and the cars began to roll forward.

As the ferry boat propelled into the channel, she felt the jar of the ice floes and watched new snowflakes settle on her windshield. Summer seemed the time for island life, not the end of winter.

When they reached the other side, Ellene glanced at Connor’s directions before leaving the ferry. It had been years since she’d been to the cabin, and Connor had always driven.

She veered the car down South Channel Road toward Middle Channel, passing a border of dried plume grass that grew tall along the banks. When she came to the party store, she knew she was close.

She slowed, her heart beating overtime. Questions barraged her. Why was she so nervous? Why couldn’t she put the past behind her as her father had suggested? Why couldn’t she accept the blame—or some of it—for their breakup? But she couldn’t. She wanted nothing to do with Connor, child or no child.

Still, she had to admit, before she’d met him for lunch, she’d often thought about an older Connor. Would he look the same? Would he be bald or paunchy? Their meeting had answered her curiosity.

Connor had become a handsome man. Maturity had broadened his chest and toned his muscles so that his trim frame looked solid and healthy. His smile hadn’t changed, and only the small crinkles around his eyes added something new to his character.

Her grip tightened on the steering wheel when she saw the log cabin. She pulled into the driveway, sending up a prayer that God would give her guidance and soften her attitude.

She sat a moment, thinking of her feelings—pride, hurt, dismay. Connor had wounded her and left her disillusioned. But she’d rebounded, dating one man, then another, never feeling drawn to any of them, but longing to get even with Connor for his rejection.

Connor’s rejection had been the first, but not the last. Only last year she’d thought she had found another man who’d expressed his love and devotion. A few months ago, she’d learned he’d cheated on her. Her skin crawled with the memory.

That day, Ellene had realized that few men could be trusted. She didn’t need a man. Today she was determined to work for her father and make him proud.

As she headed up the driveway, the side door opened. Connor peeked out and grinned. “Cold, isn’t it?” His brown-and-white checkered shirt beneath a deeper brown sweater gave him a homey charm.

She couldn’t help but grin back at his stupid question. “You could have waited until May for this.”

“Not really. I want to get settled here during the summer when Caitlin is out of school.”

Caitlin. The name whacked her in the chest. As she stepped inside, she gave the room a quick scan, expecting the child to be there. But she wasn’t in sight, and the fact aroused Ellene’s curiosity.

She covered her discomfort by surveying the open space of the great room, dining and kitchen all in one. “I’d forgotten how nice this is,” she said, admiring the expansive room. “You have lots of space to work with. I like it.”

“I like it, too, but it’s the—”

“I hate it here!”

The child’s shout pierced their subdued conversation, followed by the sound of a crash above their heads as if she’d thrown something across the room.

“Sorry,” Connor said. “She’s having one of her bad days.”

“You never let me do anything,” Caitlin bellowed down the staircase.

Ellene flinched at the child’s frustration.

Connor walked to the narrow opening and called up the stairs. “Caitlin, stop it. We have company.”

“I don’t care. I don’t want any company.”

“She doesn’t mean it,” he said, looking at Ellene with contrition in his eyes. He turned and bolted up the stairs, and Ellene waited, listening to the commotion from above.

Finally it quieted, except for a child’s sobs. Ellene’s heart wrenched at the sound.

Connor’s footsteps thudded down the stairs and paused at the bottom. “Sorry. This is too common lately.”

Ellene felt at a loss. “What do you do?”

“Let her cry it out. I don’t know what else to do. To be honest, once in a while I’d like to give her a good spanking, but that’s not what she needs.”

His comment sparked her curiosity. “What does she need?”

“A mother to give her more attention than I can.”

Ellene felt a shudder course through her, and she clasped her handbag tighter to her body. The sorrow she felt for Connor at that moment overwhelmed her. “It must be hard for you.” She tilted her head toward the staircase. “What do you do when she acts out this way?”

“She’s in time-out with threats of no TV.”

“No TV? I suppose that’s a good punishment.”

He nodded. “Caitlin’s shy and hasn’t made friends around here yet. TV’s her major form of entertainment.”

As he stepped forward, a disconcerted look registered on his face. “I really apologize for all this.” He extended his hand. “I didn’t even take your coat.”

Ellene slipped it from her shoulders and handed it to him.

“Have a seat. I’ll make some coffee.”

“You don’t need to do that,” she said, rattled by the child’s problems and her own sensations.

Ellene’s emotions flew to opposite poles—pity and envy. If she and Connor had married, they might have had a daughter. Then she would be a mother, not knowing what to do either with an unhappy child.

While Connor strode into the kitchen area, Ellene settled into a chair and gazed through the glass door to the large porch and the channel beyond, weighing her thoughts and calming her discomfort while Conner put on a pot of coffee. When he finished he headed across the room to Ellene.

“I want to make things better for Caitlin,” he said, sinking into the chair across from her. “She’ll make friends eventually, once she starts school here. Aunt Phyllis will be good for her. Caitlin needs a woman in her life, and even though…”