Sir Thursday

At present, 10.20 am local Earth Arthur time on Thursday, the Skinless Boy has established a temporary lair in the primary linen closet of East Area Hospital on Lower Ground Three. If the Spirit-eater moves to Arthur’s home, it is most probable that it will establish its lair in the sump cavity beneath the house, which can be accessed by raising a concrete slab in the garden near the back fence.

“What was that about Thursday?” asked Leaf. “What’s Arthur time?”

Arthur read it again.

“It shouldn’t be Thursday back home! We need to get back on Wednesday afternoon! How can it be Thursday?”

“Time is malleable between the House and the Secondary Realms,” said Dr Scamandros. “But powerful personages such as yourself, Lord Arthur, affect and govern the relative flows. I can only surmise that the Spirit-eater, having something of your quality, has taken your place for chronological purposes. In… ah… other words, you are back.”

“But what about Leaf? Can she go back to Wednesday?”

“I would say not,” said Dr Scamandros. “But I am no expert in these relativities. Perhaps Sneezer may know more, from the Seven Dials.”

“Without putting it to the test, sir, I cannot say,” said Sneezer. “However, as a general rule the temporal relationship between a Secondary World and the House is set by the Front Door and defies explication. It presumably thought you had returned to your Earth and did not miss Miss Leaf, if you pardon me saying so. Therefore, the earliest Miss Leaf can return is twenty minutes past ten on Thursday. If it is still that time. More orange juice?”

“But that means I’ll have been missing all night!” Leaf couldn’t believe it. “My parents will kill me!”

CHAPTER FOUR (#ue3da84df-3c97-57fe-b1df-411dc1fc804f)

“Really?” asked Dr Scamandros. “That seems rather harsh.”

“Oh, they won’t actually kill me.” Leaf sighed. “Even if they wanted to, they’re in quarantine, so they can only shout at me through the intercom and pound on the interview window. It’s just going to make life more difficult.”

Arthur was looking at the Atlas. Something had changed there, catching his eye. It took a second to work out what it was.

“Hey! The time back home’s 10.21 now!”

“I have got to get back,” said Leaf. “I’ll try and do something about the Skinless Boy, I promise, but I really have to at least go and wave at my parents. So – how do I get home? And how do I get back here if… once I get hold of that pocket?”

“Sneezer can use Seven Dials to send you back to the hospital, I think,” said Arthur.

“Indeed, sir,” said Sneezer with a low bow.

“Coming back, I don’t know…”

“The Skinless Boy went through the Front Door, so the House will have manifested itself on your world,” said Dame Primus with an airy wave of her hand. “All you need to do is find it, knock on the Front Door and everything will be taken care of. Now, I must insist we return to the Agenda!”

“OK, OK,” said Arthur.

He turned to Leaf, but was suddenly unable to think of anything to say. He hadn’t known her long but she already felt like an old friend, and he was asking her to do something really huge for him. He didn’t know how to tell her how grateful he was for her friendship and help.

“I… I’m sorry I got you into this, Leaf. I mean I really appreciate it… you… uh… even my old friends back where I used to live wouldn’t be as… anyway… I wish there was something… oh!”

He bent his hand back behind his neck and pulled off the string with the Mariner’s medallion. It was the only thing he had that he could give.

“I don’t know if it will be any use, but if things get really bad, try calling the Mariner. Maybe… not that he was very quick last time, but… well, good luck.”

Leaf dropped the string over her head, nodded firmly and turned away.

“Never gave me nuthin’,” mumbled an unseen voice. Arthur looked down at the chair Leaf had just left and saw Suzy there, hunched over under the table. She was eyeing Dame Primus’s foot and holding a large darning needle. She grinned at Arthur and stuck the needle in, but it had no effect. Tiny letters moved apart to allow the needle entry and then a savage red spark shot along the metal. Suzy dropped it and sucked her fingers as the needle became a small puddle of molten steel.

Arthur sighed and gestured at Suzy to come and sit next to him. She shook her head and stayed where she was.

Even though Leaf hadn’t seen Sneezer move, he was already at the door when she reached it. She was about to go through when Dr Scamandros scurried over and put something in Leaf’s hand as she went past.

“You’ll need this,” he whispered. “Won’t be able to see the House without it, or find the Front Door. Dame Primus is a bit impatient – not intentionally, I’m sure.”

Leaf looked at what he’d given her: an open leather case that contained a pair of gold wire-rimmed spectacles, with thin lenses that were heavily cracked and crazed with tiny lines. She snapped the case shut and slipped it into the tight waistband of her breeches.

“This way please, Miss Leaf,” said Sneezer, as Scamandros ran back to his place at the table. “Will you be requiring clothes more suitable to your own Secondary Realm and era?”

“If you’ve got something, that’d be great,” said Leaf, who was wearing a wide-sleeved cotton shirt and blue canvas breeches, the basic uniform of a ship’s boy from the Flying Mantis. She hadn’t even started to think about how to explain her clothes. Explaining why she hadn’t been to see her parents, aunt and brother in quarantine for at least sixteen hours was going to be hard enough.

As she left, Leaf heard Dame Primus say something to Dr Scamandros and then launch into a speech. She sounded like a politician in a televised debate, wary of her opponent’s delaying tactics.

“I trust, Lord Arthur, that we may now proceed as you have requested, with the Agenda rearranged in order of importance.”

“Sure,” said Arthur wearily, but he couldn’t stop thinking about the Spirit-eater, this “Skinless Boy” who was pretending to be him. What was the creature going to do? His parents would have no idea. They’d be helpless and so would his sisters and brothers. The thing would take over their minds and then… even if the Spirit-eater was destroyed and Arthur could go back, he might not have a family any more.

Something penetrated Arthur’s thoughts. Dame Primus had just said something. Something very important.

“What was that?” he asked. “What did you just say?”

“I said, Lord Arthur, we now suspect that the Morrow Days’ misgovernance is no accident. They have been influenced or induced to behave as they do, with the ultimate aim being the complete and utter destruction of the House – and with it, the entirety of creation.”

“What!?”

Arthur jumped out of his chair. Everyone looked at him and he slowly sat back down again, taking a deep breath to try and slow his suddenly speeding heart.

“Really, Lord Arthur, must I repeat myself again? If the Morrow Days are allowed to continue as they are, there is a great risk the entire House will be destroyed.”

“Are you sure?” asked Arthur nervously. “I mean, Mister Monday was really lazy, and Grim Tuesday wanted to make lots of stuff and own it, and Wednesday… she couldn’t help being a total pig. That doesn’t mean they wanted to destroy the House.”

“In every case, the Trustees have put the House at risk,” said Dame Primus stiffly. “Mister Monday’s sloth meant the Lower House did not properly transport or store records, so it is even now impossible to ascertain what has happened to numerous Denizens, parts of the House, important objects, millions or possibly trillions of sentient mortals and even entire worlds in the Secondary Realms. There has also been considerable interference with the Secondary Realms, most of it via the Lower House.

“Grim Tuesday’s case is even worse, for in his avarice, he mined so much Nothing that the Far Reaches of the House were in danger of inundation by Nothing. If the Far Reaches had fallen into Nothing, it is quite possible the rest of the House would have collapsed as well.

“Drowned Wednesday failed to stop the Border Sea breaking its bounds and now it extends to many places it should not, allowing passage to and from the House for those able to pass the Line of Storms, and impinging on areas of Nothing, again weakening the fabric of the House.”

She paused to sip her blood-red wine.

“All of this together suggests that the Trustees, knowingly or not, are part of a plan to demolish the House and reduce it and everything else the Architect created into Nothing!”

“The whole universe?” asked Arthur.

“The whole universe,” said Dame Primus. “Though as yet we do not know who is behind this plot or what they can possibly hope to gain. Lord Sunday or Superior Saturday are the obvious candidates… but then they too would be destroyed. Unless they have found a way to destroy only part of the House… it is a curious puzzle. Being only three parts of the Will, I lack significant knowledge. In any case, it matters not, for our strategy does not differ, whether we oppose the Trustees or some force behind them.”

“What is ‘our’ strategy?” asked Arthur.