Confidence

“It has absorbed you so much that you have had no time to write to me,” said Gordon. “I expected to hear from you after you arrived.”

“I wrote to you a fortnight ago—just before receiving your own letter. You left New York before my letter reached it.”

“Ah, it will have crossed us,” said Gordon. “But now that we have your society I don’t care. Your letters, of course, are delightful, but that is still better.”

In spite of this sympathetic statement Bernard cannot be said to have enjoyed his lunch; he was thinking of something else that lay before him and that was not agreeable. He was like a man who has an acrobatic feat to perform—a wide ditch to leap, a high pole to climb—and who has a presentiment of fractures and bruises. Fortunately he was not obliged to talk much, as Mrs. Gordon displayed even more than her usual vivacity, rendering her companions the graceful service of lifting the burden of conversation from their shoulders.

“I suppose you were surprised to see us rushing out here so suddenly,” she observed in the course of the repast. “We had said nothing about it when you last saw us, and I believe we are supposed to tell you everything, ain’t we? I certainly have told you a great many things, and there are some of them I hope you have n’t repeated. I have no doubt you have told them all over Paris, but I don’t care what you tell in Paris—Paris is n’t so easily shocked. Captain Lovelock does n’t repeat what I tell him; I set him up as a model of discretion. I have told him some pretty bad things, and he has liked them so much he has kept them all to himself. I say my bad things to Captain Lovelock, and my good things to other people; he does n’t know the difference and he is perfectly content.”

“Other people as well often don’t know the difference,” said Gordon, gravely. “You ought always to tell us which are which.”

Blanche gave her husband a little impertinent stare.

“When I am not appreciated,” she said, with an attempt at superior dryness, “I am too proud to point it out. I don’t know whether you know that I ‘m proud,” she went on, turning to Gordon and glancing at Captain Lovelock; “it ‘s a good thing to know. I suppose Gordon will say that I ought to be too proud to point that out; but what are you to do when no one has any imagination? You have a grain or two, Mr. Longueville; but Captain Lovelock has n’t a speck. As for Gordon, je n’en parle pas! But even you, Mr. Longueville, would never imagine that I am an interesting invalid—that we are travelling for my delicate health. The doctors have n’t given me up, but I have given them up. I know I don’t look as if I were out of health; but that ‘s because I always try to look my best. My appearance proves nothing—absolutely nothing. Do you think my appearance proves anything, Captain Lovelock?”

Captain Lovelock scrutinized Blanche’s appearance with a fixed and solemn eye; and then he replied—

“It proves you are very lovely.”

Blanche kissed her finger-tips to him in return for this compliment.

“You only need to give Captain Lovelock a chance,” she rattled on, “and he is as clever as any one. That ‘s what I like to do to my friends—I like to make chances for them. Captain Lovelock is like my dear little blue terrier that I left at home. If I hold out a stick he will jump over it. He won’t jump without the stick; but as soon as I produce it he knows what he has to do. He looks at it a moment and then he gives his little hop. He knows he will have a lump of sugar, and Captain Lovelock expects one as well. Dear Captain Lovelock, shall I ring for a lump? Would n’t it be touching? Garcon, un morceau de sucre pour Monsieur le Capitaine! But what I give Monsieur le Capitaine is moral sugar! I usually administer it in private, and he shall have a good big morsel when you go away.”

Gordon got up, turning to Bernard and looking at his watch.

“Let us go away, in that case,” he said, smiling, “and leave Captain Lovelock to receive his reward. We will go and take a walk; we will go up the Champs Elysees. Good morning, Monsieur le Capitaine.”

Neither Blanche nor the Captain offered any opposition to this proposal, and Bernard took leave of his hostess and joined Gordon, who had already passed into the antechamber.

CHAPTER XXV

Gordon took his arm and they gained the street; they strolled in the direction of the Champs Elysees.

“For a little exercise and a good deal of talk, it ‘s the pleasantest place,” said Gordon. “I have a good deal to say; I have a good deal to ask you.”

Bernard felt the familiar pressure of his friend’s hand, as it rested on his arm, and it seemed to him never to have lain there with so heavy a weight. It held him fast—it held him to account; it seemed a physical symbol of responsibility. Bernard was not re-assured by hearing that Gordon had a great deal to say, and he expected a sudden explosion of bitterness on the subject of Blanche’s irremediable triviality. The afternoon was a lovely one—the day was a perfect example of the mellowest mood of autumn. The air was warm and filled with a golden haze, which seemed to hang about the bare Parisian trees, as if with a tender impulse to drape their nakedness. A fine day in Paris brings out a wonderfully bright and appreciative multitude of strollers and loungers, and the liberal spaces of the Champs Elysees were on this occasion filled with those placid votaries of inexpensive entertainment who abound in the French capital. The benches and chairs on the edge of the great avenue exhibited a dense fraternity of gazers, and up and down the broad walk passed the slow-moving and easily pleased pedestrians. Gordon, in spite of his announcement that he had a good deal to say, confined himself at first to superficial allusions, and Bernard after a while had the satisfaction of perceiving that he was not likely, for the moment, to strike the note of conjugal discord. He appeared, indeed, to feel no desire to speak of Blanche in any manner whatever. He fell into the humor of the hour and the scene, looked at the crowd, talked about trifles. He remarked that Paris was a wonderful place after all, and that a little glimpse of the Parisian picture was a capital thing as a change; said he was very glad they had come, and that for his part he was willing to stay three months.

“And what have you been doing with yourself?” he asked. “How have you been occupied, and what are you meaning to do?”

Bernard said nothing for a moment, and Gordon presently glanced at his face to see why he was silent. Bernard, looking askance, met his companion’s eyes, and then, resting his own upon them, he stopped short. His heart was beating; it was a question of saying to Gordon outright, “I have been occupied in becoming engaged to Angela Vivian.” But he could n’t say it, and yet he must say something. He tried to invent something; but he could think of nothing, and still Gordon was looking at him.

“I am so glad to see you!” he exclaimed, for want of something better; and he blushed—he felt foolish, he felt false—as he said it.

“My dear Bernard!” Gordon murmured gratefully, as they walked on. “It ‘s very good of you to say that; I am very glad we are together again. I want to say something,” he added, in a moment; “I hope you won’t mind it—” Bernard gave a little laugh at his companion’s scruples, and Gordon continued. “To tell the truth, it has sometimes seemed to me that we were not so good friends as we used to be—that something had come between us—I don’t know what, I don’t know why. I don’t know what to call it but a sort of lowering of the temperature. I don’t know whether you have felt it, or whether it has been simply a fancy of mine. Whatever it may have been, it ‘s all over, is n’t it? We are too old friends—too good friends—not to stick together. Of course, the rubs of life may occasionally loosen the cohesion; but it is very good to feel that, with a little direct contact, it may easily be re-established. Is n’t that so? But we should n’t reason about these things; one feels them, and that ‘s enough.”

Gordon spoke in his clear, cheerful voice, and Bernard listened intently. It seemed to him there was an undertone of pain and effort in his companion’s speech; it was that of an unhappy man trying to be wise and make the best of things.

“Ah, the rubs of life—the rubs of life!” Bernard repeated vaguely.

“We must n’t mind them,” said Gordon, with a conscientious laugh. “We must toughen our hides; or, at the worst, we must plaster up our bruises. But why should we choose this particular place and hour for talking of the pains of life?” he went on. “Are we not in the midst of its pleasures? I mean, henceforth, to cultivate its pleasures. What are yours, just now, Bernard? Is n’t it supposed that in Paris one must amuse one’s self? How have you been amusing yourself?”

“I have been leading a very quiet life,” said Bernard.

“I notice that ‘s what people always say when they have been particularly dissipated. What have you done? Whom have you seen that one knows?”

Bernard was silent a moment.

“I have seen some old friends of yours,” he said at last. “I have seen Mrs. Vivian and her daughter.”

“Ah!” Gordon made this exclamation, and then stopped short. Bernard looked at him, but Gordon was looking away; his eyes had caught some one in the crowd. Bernard followed the direction they had taken, and then Gordon went on: “Talk of the devil—excuse the adage! Are not those the ladies in question?”

Mrs. Vivian and her daughter were, in fact, seated among a great many other quiet people, in a couple of hired chairs, at the edge of the great avenue. They were turned toward our two friends, and when Bernard distinguished them, in the well-dressed multitude, they were looking straight at Gordon Wright.

“They see you!” said Bernard.

“You say that as if I wished to run away,” Gordon answered. “I don’t want to run away; on the contrary, I want to speak to them.”

“That ‘s easily done,” said Bernard, and they advanced to the two ladies.

Mrs. Vivian and her daughter rose from their chairs as they came; they had evidently rapidly exchanged observations, and had decided that it would facilitate their interview with Gordon Wright to receive him standing. He made his way to them through the crowd, blushing deeply, as he always did when excited; then he stood there bare-headed, shaking hands with each of them, with a fixed smile, and with nothing, apparently, to say. Bernard watched Angela’s face; she was giving his companion a beautiful smile. Mrs. Vivian was delicately cordial.

“I was sure it was you,” said Gordon at last. “We were just talking of you.”

“Did Mr. Longueville deny it was we?” asked Mrs. Vivian, archly; “after we had supposed that we had made an impression on him!”

“I knew you were in Paris—we were in the act of talking of you,” Gordon went on. “I am very glad to see you.”

Bernard had shaken hands with Angela, looking at her intently; and in her eyes, as his own met them, it seemed to him that there was a gleam of mockery. At whom was she mocking—at Gordon, or at himself? Bernard was uncomfortable enough not to care to be mocked; but he felt even more sorry that Gordon should be.

“We also knew you were coming—Mr. Longueville had told us,” said Mrs. Vivian; “and we have been expecting the pleasure of seeing Blanche. Dear little Blanche!”

“Dear little Blanche will immediately come and see you,” Gordon replied.

“Immediately, we hope,” said Mrs. Vivian. “We shall be so very glad.” Bernard perceived that she wished to say something soothing and sympathetic to poor Gordon; having it, as he supposed, on her conscience that, after having once encouraged him to regard himself as indispensable (in the capacity of son-in-law) to her happiness, she should now present to him the spectacle of a felicity which had established itself without his aid. “We were so very much interested in your marriage,” she went on. “We thought it so—so delightful.”

Gordon fixed his eyes on the ground for a moment.

“I owe it partly to you,” he answered. “You had done so much for Blanche. You had so cultivated her mind and polished her manners that her attractions were doubled, and I fell an easy victim to them.”

He uttered these words with an exaggerated solemnity, the result of which was to produce, for a moment, an almost embarrassing silence. Bernard was rapidly becoming more and more impatient of his own embarrassment, and now he exclaimed, in a loud and jovial voice—

“Blanche makes victims by the dozen! I was a victim last winter; we are all victims!”

“Dear little Blanche!” Mrs. Vivian murmured again.

Angela had said nothing; she had simply stood there, making no attempt to address herself to Gordon, and yet with no affectation of reserve or of indifference. Now she seemed to feel the impulse to speak to him.

“When Blanche comes to see us, you must be sure to come with her,” she said, with a friendly smile.