The Seaboard Parish, Complete

When we reached the house I found that Wynnie would not be in the way. I left her seated by the kitchen-fire, and was shown into the room where Mrs. Stokes lay. I cannot say I perceived. But I guessed somehow, the moment I saw her that there was something upon her mind. She was a hard-featured woman, with a cold, troubled black eye that rolled restlessly about. She lay on her back, moving her head from side to side. When I entered she only looked at me, and turned her eyes away towards the wall. I approached the bedside, and seated myself by it. I always do so at once; for the patient feels more at rest than if you stand tall up before her. I laid my hand on hers.

“Are you very ill, Mrs. Stokes?” I said.

“Yes, very,” she answered with a groan. “It be come to the last with me.”

“I hope not, indeed, Mrs. Stokes. It’s not come to the last with us, so long as we have a Father in heaven.”

“Ah! but it be with me. He can’t take any notice of the like of me.”

“But indeed he does, whether you think it or not. He takes notice of every thought we think, and every deed we do, and every sin we commit.”

I said the last words with emphasis, for I suspected something more than usual upon her conscience. She gave another groan, but made no reply. I therefore went on.

“Our Father in heaven is not like some fathers on earth, who, so long as their children don’t bother them, let them do anything they like. He will not have them do what is wrong. He loves them too much for that.”

“He won’t look at me,” she said half murmuring, half sighing it out, so that I could hardly, hear what she said.

“It is because he is looking at you that you are feeling uncomfortable,” I answered. “He wants you to confess your sins. I don’t mean to me, but to himself; though if you would like to tell me anything, and I can help you, I shall be very glad. You know Jesus Christ came to save us from our sins; and that’s why we call him our Saviour. But he can’t save us from our sins if we won’t confess that we have any.”

“I’m sure I never said but what I be a great sinner, as well as other people.”

“You don’t suppose that’s confessing your sins?” I said. “I once knew a woman of very bad character, who allowed to me she was a great sinner; but when I said, ‘Yes, you have done so and so,’ she would not allow one of those deeds to be worthy of being reckoned amongst her sins. When I asked her what great sins she had been guilty of, then, seeing these counted for nothing, I could get no more out of her than that she was a great sinner, like other people, as you have just been saying.”

“I hope you don’t be thinking I ha’ done anything of that sort,” she said with wakening energy. “No man or woman dare say I’ve done anything to be ashamed of.”

“Then you’ve committed no sins?” I returned. “But why did you send for me? You must have something to say to me.”

“I never did send for you. It must ha’ been my husband.”

“Ah, then I’m afraid I’ve no business here!” I returned, rising. “I thought you had sent for me.”

She returned no answer. I hoped that by retiring I should set her thinking, and make her more willing to listen the next time I came. I think clergymen may do much harm by insisting when people are in a bad mood, as if they had everything to do, and the Spirit of God nothing at all. I bade her good-day, hoped she would be better soon, and returned to Wynnie.

As we walked home together, I said:

“Wynnie, I was right. It would not have done at all to take you into the sick-room. Mrs. Stokes had not sent for me herself, and rather resented my appearance. But I think she will send for me before many days are over.”

CHAPTER IV. THE ART OF NATURE

We had a week of hazy weather after this. I spent it chiefly in my study and in Connie’s room. A world of mist hung over the sea; it refused to hold any communion with mortals. As if ill-tempered or unhappy, it folded itself in its mantle and lay still.

What was it thinking about? All Nature is so full of meaning, that we cannot help fancying sometimes that she knows her own meanings. She is busy with every human mood in turn—sometimes with ten of them at once—picturing our own inner world before us, that we may see, understand, develop, reform it.

I was turning over some such thought in my mind one morning, when Dora knocked at the door, saying that Mr. Percivale had called, and that mamma was busy, and would I mind if she brought him up to the study.

“Not in the least, my dear,” I answered; “I shall be very glad to see him.”

“Not much of weather for your sacred craft, Percivale,” I said as he entered. “I suppose, if you were asked to make a sketch to-day, it would be much the same as if a stupid woman were to ask you to take her portrait?”

“Not quite so bad as that,” said Percivale.

“Surely the human face is more than nature.”

“Nature is never stupid.”

“The woman might be pretty.”

“Nature is full of beauty in her worst moods; while the prettier such a woman, the more stupid she would look, and the more irksome you would feel the task; for you could not help making claims upon her which you would never think of making upon Nature.”

“I daresay you are right. Such stupidity has a good deal to do with moral causes. You do not ever feel that Nature is to blame.”

“Nature is never ugly. She may be dull, sorrowful, troubled; she may be lost in tears and pallor, but she cannot be ugly. It is only when you rise into animal nature that you find ugliness.”

“True in the main only; for no lines of absolute division can be drawn in nature. I have seen ugly flowers.”

“I grant it; but they are exceptional; and none of them are without beauty.”

“Surely not. The ugliest soul even is not without some beauty. But I grant you that the higher you rise the more is ugliness possible, just because the greater beauty is possible. There is no ugliness to equal in its repulsiveness the ugliness of a beautiful face.”

A pause followed.

“I presume,” I said, “you are thinking of returning to London now, there seems so little to be gained by remaining here. When this weather begins to show itself I could wish myself in my own parish; but I am sure the change, even through the winter, will be good for my daughter.”

“I must be going soon,” he answered; “but it would be too bad to take offence at the old lady’s first touch of temper. I mean to wait and see whether we shall not have a little bit of St. Martin’s summer, as Shakspere calls it; after which, hail London, queen of smoke and—”

“And what?” I asked, seeing he hesitated.

“‘And soap,’ I was fancying you would say; for you never will allow the worst of things, Mr. Walton.”

“No, surely I will not. For one thing, the worst has never been seen by anybody yet. We have no experience to justify it.”

We were chatting in this loose manner when Walter came to the door to tell me that a messenger had come from Mrs. Stokes.

I went down to see him, and found her husband.

“My wife be very bad, sir,” he said. “I wish you could come and see her.”

“Does she want to see me?’ I asked.

“She’s been more uncomfortable than ever since you was there last,” he said.

“But,” I repeated, “has she said she would like to see me?”

“I can’t say it, sir,” answered the man.

“Then it is you who want me to see her?”

“Yes, sir; but I be sure she do want to see you. I know her way, you see, sir. She never would say she wanted anything in her life; she would always leave you to find it out: so I got sharp at that, sir.”