Beauchamp's Career. Complete

On the other hand, the exercise of her free-will in a fast resolve, was growing all the more a privilege that he was bound to respect. As she became sacreder and doubly precious to him, the less would he venture to thwart her, though he should think her mad. There would be an analogy between his manner of regarding her and the way that superstitious villagers look on their crazy innocents, she thought sadly. And she bled for him too: she grieved to hurt his pride. But she had come to imagine that there was no avoidance of this deed of personal humiliation.

Nevil had scrawled a note to her. She had it in her hand one forenoon in mid November, when she said to her husband: ‘I have ordered the carriage for two o’clock to meet the quarter to three train to London, and I have sent Stanton on to get the house ready for us tonight.’

Lord Romfrey levelled a marksman’s eye at her.

‘Why London? You know my wish that it should be here at the castle.’

‘I have decided to go to Bevisham. I have little time left.’

‘None, to my thinking.’

‘Oh I yes; my heart will be light. I shall gain. You come with me to London?’

‘You can’t go.’

‘Don’t attempt to reason with me, please, please!’

‘I command, madam.’

‘My lord, it is past the hour of commanding.’

He nodded his head, with the eyes up amid the puckered brows, and blowing one of his long nasal expirations, cried, ‘Here we are, in for another bout of argument.’

‘No; I can bear the journey, rejoice in confessing my fault, but more argument I cannot bear. I will reason with you when I can: submit to me in this.’

‘Feminine reasoning!’ he interjected.

‘I have nothing better to offer. It will be prudent to attend to me. Take my conduct for the portion I bring you. Before I put myself in God’s care I must be clean. I am unclean. Language like that offends you. I have no better. My reasoning has not touched you; I am helpless, except in this determination that my contrition shall be expressed to Dr. Shrapnel. If I am to have life, to be worthy of living and being a mother, it must be done. Now, my dear lord, see that, and submit. You’re but one voice: I am two.’

He jumped off his chair, frowning up his forehead, and staring awfully at the insulting prospect. ‘An apology to the man? By you? Away with it.’

‘Make allowances for me if you can, my dear lord that is what I am going to do.’

‘My wife going there?’ He strode along furiously. ‘No!’

‘You will not stop her.’

‘There’s a palsy in my arm if I don’t.’

She plucked at her watch.

‘Why, ma’am, I don’t know you,’ he said, coming close to her. ‘Let ‘s reason. Perhaps you overshot it; you were disgusted with Shrapnel. Perhaps I was hasty; I get fired by an insult to a woman. There was a rascal kissed a girl once against her will, and I heard her cry out; I laid him on his back for six months; just to tell you; I’d do the same to lord or beggar. Very well, my dear heart, we’ll own I might have looked into the case when that dog Cecil… what’s the matter?’

‘Speak on, my dear husband,’ said Rosamund, panting.

‘But your making the journey to Bevisham is a foolish notion.’

‘Yes? well?’

‘Well, we’ll wait.’

‘Oh! have we to travel over it all again?’ she exclaimed in despair at the dashing out of a light she had fancied. ‘You see the wrong. You know the fever it is in my blood, and you bid me wait.’

‘Drop a line to Nevil.’

‘To trick my conscience! I might have done that, and done well, once. Do you think I dislike the task I propose to myself? It is for your sake that I would shun it. As for me, the thought of going there is an ecstasy. I shall be with Nevil, and be able to look in his face. And how can I be actually abasing you when I am so certain that I am worthier of you in what I do?’

Her exaltation swept her on. ‘Hurry there, my lord, if you will. If you think it prudent that you should go in my place, go: you deprive me of a great joy, but I will not put myself in your way, and I consent. The chief sin was mine; remember that. I rank it viler than Cecil Baskelett’s. And listen: when—can you reckon?—when will he confess his wickedness? We separate ourselves from a wretch like that.’

‘Pooh,’ quoth the earl.

‘But you will go?’ She fastened her arms round the arm nearest: ‘You or I! Does it matter which? We are one. You speak for me; I should have been forced to speak for you. You spare me the journey. I do not in truth suppose it would have injured me; but I would not run one unnecessary risk.’

Lord Romfrey sighed profoundly. He could not shake her off. How could he refuse her?

How on earth had it come about that suddenly he was expected to be the person to go?

She would not let him elude her; and her stained cheeks and her trembling on his arm pleaded most pressingly and masteringly. It might be that she spoke with a knowledge of her case. Positive it undoubtedly was that she meant to go if he did not. Perhaps the hopes of his House hung on it. Having admitted that a wrong had been done, he was not the man to leave it unamended; only he would have chosen his time, and the manner. Since Nevil’s illness, too, he had once or twice been clouded with a little bit of regret at the recollection of poor innocent old Shrapnel posted like a figure of total inebriation beside the doorway of the dreadful sickroom.

There had been women of the earl’s illustrious House who would have given their hands to the axe rather than conceal a stain and have to dread a scandal. His Rosamund, after all, was of their pattern; even though she blew that conscience she prattled of into trifles, and swelled them, as women of high birth in this country, out of the clutches of the priests, do not do.

She clung to him for his promise to go.

He said: ‘Well, well.’

‘That means, you will,’ said she.

His not denying it passed for the affirmative.

Then indeed she bloomed with love of him.

‘Yet do say yes,’ she begged.

‘I’ll go, ma’am,’ shouted the earl. ‘I’ll go, my love,’ he said softly.

CHAPTER LIII. THE APOLOGY TO DR. SHRAPNEL

‘You and Nevil are so alike,’ Lady Romfrey said to her lord, at some secret resemblance she detected and dwelt on fondly, when the earl was on the point of starting a second time for Bevisham to perform what she had prompted him to conceive his honourable duty, without a single intimation that he loathed the task, neither shrug nor grimace.

‘Two ends of a stick are pretty much alike: they’re all that length apart,’ said he, very little in the humour for compliments, however well braced for his work.

His wife’s admiring love was pleasant enough. He preferred to have it unspoken. Few of us care to be eulogized in the act of taking a nauseous medical mixture.

For him the thing was as good as done, on his deciding to think it both adviseable and right: so he shouldered his load and marched off with it. He could have postponed the right proceeding, even after the partial recognition of his error:—one drops a word or two by hazard, one expresses an anxiety to afford reparation, one sends a message, and so forth, for the satisfaction of one’s conventionally gentlemanly feeling: but the adviseable proceeding under stress of peculiar circumstances, his clearly-awakened recognition of that, impelled him unhesitatingly. His wife had said it was the portion she brought him. Tears would not have persuaded him so powerfully, that he might prove to her he was glad of her whatever the portion she brought. She was a good wife, a brave woman, likely to be an incomparable mother. At present her very virtues excited her to fancifulness nevertheless she was in his charge, and he was bound to break the neck of his will, to give her perfect peace of wind. The child suffers from the mother’s mental agitation. It might be a question of a nervous or an idiot future Earl of Romfrey. Better death to the House than such a mockery of his line! These reflections reminded him of the heartiness of his whipping of that poor old tumbled signpost Shrapnel, in the name of outraged womankind. If there was no outrage?

Assuredly if there was no outrage, consideration for the state of his wife would urge him to speak the apology in the most natural manner possible. She vowed there was none.

He never thought of blaming her for formerly deceiving him, nor of blaming her for now expediting him.