The Family They Chose / Private Partners: The Family They Chose / Private Partners

“Olivia, thank you so much for coming in today,” Pam said. “It seems like a lot to ask during the holidays.”

Olivia shook her head. “I’m happy to do it. Besides, Jamison had to go back to D.C. and he won’t be back until New Year’s Eve.”

“Big plans?” Pam asked.

Olivia blushed. “We’re staying in and having a nice romantic evening—alone, for a change.”

Over the years, Pam had become a friend—and someone to whom in the beginning, Olivia had confided in when she and Jamison had decided to start trying to get pregnant. But after it became clear that pregnancy wouldn’t come easily—and then with the ensuing bumps in their marriage—Olivia had become a bit more guarded.

“Really?” Pam arched a brow, her blue eyes shining. “Anything you’d care to share?”

For a moment, Olivia was tempted to tell her everything—well, almost everything—not about Derek’s bizarre suggestion that Olivia try to pass off another woman’s child as her own. Because essentially that’s what it would amount to if she allowed Chance to implant another woman’s egg in her body.

The thought made her shudder, and that brought her to her senses. Despite how good it would feel to confide in a friend right now, until she heard the New Year’s Eve prognosis, she needed to keep everything to herself.

“Oh, nothing exciting, but you know I’ll tell you as soon as there’s news.”

Just then the door opened and two of the saddest little boys Olivia had ever seen walked in hand in hand. Both had mops of glossy dark hair and large, haunted brown eyes.

The larger of the two stood slightly in front of his younger brother, in a protective stance.

Karen Cunningham from DCF stood behind them. “Good morning, I have a very special delivery for you. This is Kevin.” She gestured to the older brother. “And this little guy is Danny.”

“Hello, boys. I’m Pam, and this is Mrs. Mallory. We want you to know you are very welcome here.”

The boys gaped at her but remained silent.

“You make yourselves right at home,” Pam said. “Mrs. Mallory is here for you while Mrs. Cunningham and I go take care of some paperwork.”

Olivia knelt in front of the boys.

“Hi, guys. Now, tell me again, which one of you is Kevin and which one is Danny?”

“I’m Kevin,” said the older brother. “I’m seven years old.”

Olivia offered her hand to the boy. “Hi, Kevin. You can call me Olivia, if you’d like.”

Kevin shook her hand like a little man, much too grown up for his age.

“He’s Danny, he doesn’t talk because he’s special.”

“Hi, Danny.” She offered her hand to the smaller boy just as she’d done for the older brother, but he didn’t take it. Instead, he started rocking back and forth, paying no attention to Olivia.

“He’s sad because our mommy and daddy got killed in a real bad car wreck.”

Kevin’s lower lip quivered and for a moment Olivia thought he might cry. She was surprised when he didn’t.

She took his hand in hers again. “Kevin, it’s okay to cry. I know you must be very sad, too. Just like Danny is.”

Still holding Olivia’s hand, Kevin focused on a spot somewhere over her shoulder and didn’t let down his guard.

Olivia squeezed his hand. “Well, I want you to know I think you’re very brave, but even the bravest men in the world cry sometimes. And that’s okay.”

Suddenly, Danny stepped forward, reached and touched Olivia’s pearl necklace.

“Duck!” said Danny.

Kevin grabbed his brother’s hand and held it.

“Don’t touch, Danny.”

“Duck!” Danny repeated.

Olivia gazed down into his little upturned face and smiled. She pointed at her necklace. “These are pearls, Danny.”

Kevin shook his head. “It doesn’t matter how many times you tell him. He’s still going to call it a duck, because that’s what he thinks it is. I told you, he’s special and he doesn’t know any better.”

Olivia nodded and gave Kevin a conspiratorial wink. “That’s good to know. If he wants to call it a duck, then this can be my … duck. Say, Kevin, do you and Danny like cookies? I just made some. They’re in the kitchen. Why don’t we go get some?”

Kevin’s face shuttered again.

“My mommy doesn’t let us eat cookies between meals.”

His little bottom lip trembled again, but he raised his chin a notch and refocused on his spot over Olivia’s shoulder.

Her heart was breaking for these two sweet boys. She was about to tell Kevin that she was sure his mother wouldn’t mind just this once, and praise him for following her rules, when Danny’s hand snaked out again and grabbed a hold of Olivia’s necklace.

“Duck!” he yelled, and gave them a firm yank.

His grasp was far stronger than she might have imagined because the necklace broke. If not for the individual knots between each pearl, the necklace might have scattered all over the floor. Instead, the broken strand held together in a limp line trailing down Danny’s arm.

“Danny! No!” reprimanded Kevin.

He turned to Olivia. “I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry. Please don’t be mad at him. Please—”

With that, his voice broke and he dissolved into a heap of full-body sobs.

Reflexively, Olivia gathered him in her arms and held him while he cried on the shoulder of her blue suit.

Rubbing his back, she said, “I’m not mad. It was just a silly old duck anyway. I can get it fixed later.”

Pam and Karen rushed in to see what all the commotion was about, but Olivia waved them away. She was no expert, but instincts told her that now that Kevin was finally letting down his guard, now that he was finally allowing himself to feel his loss, the last thing he needed was an audience gawking at him.

As he continued to sob on her shoulder, she mouthed to them, It’s okay. He’ll be fine. Hesitant, they retreated to Pam’s office, throwing concerned glances Olivia’s way as she rubbed the boy’s back in slow, circular motions.

Of all people, she understood the loss he was grappling with—only in reverse. She’d had a hard time processing the sense of loss she felt, not being able to get pregnant. The loss—or empty spot—in her life that Jamison’s and her child was supposed to occupy. It felt like a gaping hole in the place where her heart beat. Some days she wanted to sob on someone’s shoulder, too, but instead, like Kevin, she’d chosen the stoic path.

She pulled the weeping boy closer. Holding him, for the first time ever, she felt that gaping hole begin to close.