The Law of Desire

“You need protecting. Look at what happened to Mama.” Calvin’s voice took on that serious, brother-knows-best tone. “This world is rough. You wouldn’t survive without me to protect you. I couldn’t protect Mama because I was just a kid. But I’ll protect you with my life, Minerva. And that’s real talk. Trust me, when the right guy comes around, I’ll know and I’ll let you know. For now, just focus on getting those degrees and making your big brother proud.”

She let out an exasperated breath and rolled her eyes. There was no talking to Calvin and certainly no way to get him to see how stifling he was being. In fact, he saw that as his main purpose in life since their mom had passed away. Sometimes she wished she didn’t have a big brother.

“So I’ll see you in a few days for dinner at our spot, right?” He pulled up to her apartment building.

“Yes, Calvin, I’ll be there.” She got out and walked inside.

Where is he?

She glanced at her watch. It was telling her she might have been stood up. Usually when her brother said he would meet her somewhere, he got there before she did. Of the two of them, she was the chronically late one. And today she was running late from work. That’s why when she got to Roscoe’s House of Chicken ’n Waffles and found that she had beaten him there she should have known something was wrong.

After waiting an hour with no sign of Calvin, she decided he must have made good on his threat to leave the next time she kept him waiting. She finished her meal alone and ordered one special to go before getting on the bus heading toward her brother’s apartment.

Standing and brushing the crumbs off her navy-blue-and-white pin-striped suit with wide leg pants and a double-breasted jacket, she shook her head. Calvin was probably mad at her. But the meal would be her peace offering. Although she didn’t know why he wasn’t used to her perpetual lateness by now. He didn’t have to pick tonight to set an example and leave. It was their official graduation celebration, after all.

But his door was open when she got to his apartment.

That wasn’t a good sign.

Given some of Calvin’s unsavory business dealings, a busted open door signaled either a police raid or a rival gang’s hit. She never thought the day would come when she would be hoping for the former.

Feeling like the stereotypical hapless and clueless teen beauty in a horror flick, she pushed open the door and went in.

Things were strewn all over the normally neat living room. Papers covered the floor and Calvin’s coveted Crip-blue crushed-velvet sofa had been turned upside down, the pillows torn to pieces. She didn’t have to walk too far into the room to see her brother.

He lay on the floor with a bullet in the middle of his forehead.

Thena’s legs threatened to give way and she stumbled, dropping the container of food. Somehow she managed not to hit the floor along with the fluffy waffles and crispy chicken.

Her handsome, tall, strong and protective older brother, the only constant in her life, lay dead. Her heart dropped and her knees buckled. She hit the floor with a thud and her hand flew to her mouth. She wanted to scream but no sound came out. The air was as empty as she felt.

How could this be happening?

She reached out and touched his caramel face. His eyes were still open and she moved her hand over them to shut the lids.

Her heart felt as if it had exploded in her chest the pain was so deep. Tears fell, feeling hot and scorching against her skin. She grabbed her chest and gasped before she realized she wasn’t alone.

Someone was in the back room throwing things around, obviously looking for something. Whoever it was must have heard her because the shuffling stopped.

Somehow, even with the ever-expanding hole in her heart, the pronounced lack of air and the absence of any rational thought, she was able to pull herself up from her brother’s side and run. She dashed out of the apartment building and ran as if her life depended on it.

The burning tears cooled somewhat with her sprint, but they kept falling. She ran for blocks and blocks before she had to stop. The vision of her brother with a hole in his head stuck in her mind until the food she’d eaten at Roscoe’s would no longer sit in her stomach. Everything came barreling back up and out, projecting forward and hitting the cement before she could even come to a full stop. She fell to her knees and sobbed as she vomited. The navy-blue headband that held back her shoulder-length natural curls popped off her head and landed in the mess.

She had never felt so empty in all her life.

Realizing that whoever was in the apartment hadn’t followed her, she didn’t know what to do. She thought about going back to his place and calling the cops, but decided to go home and get cleaned up first. She could call the cops once she got rid of the tears and the sour taste in her mouth.

The emptiness, the guilt, the loss, all threatened to consume her, to eat her alive. What was she supposed to do without Calvin?

When she got home she saw, David Sims sitting in front of her building in his luxury car waiting for her. The tall, golden, honey-complexioned man stepped out of his car and walked up to her. She couldn’t think of anyone better to be waiting for her at this time.

“David.” She ran right into his arms. “Oh, my God, David…Calvin is…Calvin…I just came from his house and…” She took a deep breath. She couldn’t say it. She couldn’t say the words; her brother was dead.

“I know. It’s bad. He was into some serious stuff this time. I tried to bail him out, but I got there too late.” He took a short step away, placed his hand under her chin and tilted her head so that he was looking right into her eyes. “Did you see anything?”

She gazed up at him. “There was someone there looking for something when I walked in. I heard noises in the back of the apartment and I ran. I ran and I haven’t even called the police yet. I have to call the police and—”

“I must have gotten there after you. Because there was no one there when I got there. I did make an anonymous call from a phone booth to the police.” He shook his head. “The thing is, baby girl, according to your brother, the people he got on the wrong side of are not the kind of people you want thinking you know anything or saw something. And they have folks in the LAPD on their payroll. If they thought you knew anything they would have no problem killing you, too.” The warning in his voice and the stern expression on his face made her heart stop.

“I didn’t see anyone. I don’t know anything.”

“You can tell me if you do. Did Calvin give you anything recently? Did he tell you anything?”

Besides the surprise party, he hadn’t given her anything. And besides his typical warnings—about staying away from guys and making sure to run anyone interested in her past him because too many people might see her as an easy mark to get back at him—he hadn’t told her anything.

“No, he didn’t and I don’t know anything.”

“Okay. We still can’t risk the cops questioning you and those folks thinking you might know something. Some of the things Calvin told me about them…” He shook his head. “Trust me, you don’t want to mess with them. You have to get out of L.A. It wouldn’t be good for them to find out you spoke to the cops, especially if they saw you leaving Calvin’s place.” David rubbed his chin, while keeping a careful eye on her.

She tried to hold it together, because she didn’t want to appear like some weak-willed woman who couldn’t deal. She gulped in an attempt to swallow the fast-growing lump in her throat.

“I can’t just up and leave. I don’t have anywhere to go. And what about Calvin? I have to bury my brother! I can’t just leave.”

“You don’t have a choice.” His face went hard and serious before he softened slightly. “You were the most important person in the world to Calvin. The only family he had. He wouldn’t even let a straight-laced guy like me try and kick it to you because he felt I wasn’t good enough for you.” David gave a rueful smile at the memory. “And I was his best friend. So I feel obligated to look out for you and make sure the cops don’t unwittingly put you in danger. I have some folks in Jersey you could stay with until the danger passes. You remember my twin cousins, Timmy and Tommy McKnight?”

She remembered the twins who used to hang out with Calvin and David before moving back East. They had been members of the same gang as her brother. She nodded.

“Well, they’re probably the only people besides me that would feel strongly about protecting Calvin’s little sister.” He ran his thumb across her cheek, wiping away endless tears.

She willed herself to be stronger. “Why would they feel obligated? I doubt they even remember me.”

“Because Calvin, Timmy and Tommy all started banging around the same time. They share a bond.” He glanced down the street, no longer looking her in the eye, as he finished. “And even though I never went there with them, I know how seriously they took their affiliation.”

“Are they still banging?”

“I have no idea. I doubt it.” He turned and glanced at her briefly. “We need to get you out of here before the cops start questioning you. Come on.”

“But don’t I need to pack or—”

“No. You don’t have time. I’ll give you enough cash to get some things when you get there. We need to leave here now.” He glanced away again. “I also have something for you to give to my cousins. It’s just a jacket…a family heirloom of sorts…It used to belong to my dad…their uncle. But I need you to give me the keys to your place and Calvin’s.”

She bit back a sob. This couldn’t be happening. This was supposed to be the happiest time in her life. She was going to finally get that nice pretty diploma to hang on her wall. She was going to show her brother that all the sacrifices he had made for her and everything he’d done to raise her when their parents died was worth it. And now he was dead and she had to go on the run.

“When the coast is clear, I’ll be able to send you your things and get into his place and see if they left anything you might want. I’m so sorry this happened, baby girl. But I’m going to help you. Because I know Calvin would’ve wanted me to help you. And don’t worry. I’ll be coming for you when it’s safe.”

He opened up his car door as he spoke and guided her in.

She took one last look at her apartment complex as she got in the vehicle. She had no idea how her life could have taken such a drastic turn in a matter of hours, but she did know things would never be the same again. She just felt lucky to have Calvin’s best friend looking out for her. And she hoped Timmy and Tommy McKnight had her back the way their cousin David did. My life depends on it.