Secret Desire

She diverted her gaze from the eyes that seemed to invade her soul and focused on the pink dogwood blossoms that adorned their table. “I wish I had your self-assurance, Luke. You know where you’re going, and exactly how to get there.”

The long fingers of his left hand stroked his chin in a slow, graceful movement, and he perused her as though searching for some truth in her. An expression of hopefulness flashed across his face—or so she thought, because the man concealed his emotions. She couldn’t help squirming under his scrutiny.

“Luke, you have to stop doing this to me. I know it’s not your intention to make me uncomfortable, but I feel as if you have me under a 4000x-lens microscope.”

“Sorry. I…Try not to second-guess me, Kate. I know how to be rude, if I care to, but I can’t imagine myself being discourteous to you.”

“Then what—”

“I was trying to figure out what you see in me that makes you think I know exactly what I want and how to get it. There aren’t many men I’d say that about.”

She didn’t believe he’d used that ruse to get his ego stoked, so she told him truthfully. “It’s the impression you give me. You’re a man in complete command. I’d trust you with my life anytime and anywhere.”

Could it have been pain that flashed so briefly in his eyes? A frown darkened his countenance. “Don’t ever put complete trust in any mortal. Save that for God. I’m human, Kate, and I have mortal frailties.”

“But you seem un…unflappable.”

Again, a shadow crossed his face, and when he hooded his eyes, she knew that if he had an Achilles’ heel, she’d come close to it. A long pregnant silence held a tension of its own. She waited, certain that his response would give her a clue as to who he was.

“I learned a few years ago not to let anything stress me out,” he said in a voice that had a ring of finality. “I do what I can, and let the rest go.”

Kate didn’t want their evening to end, though her mind told her she shouldn’t spend so much time with him. But he was like a flame seducing a moth, both tonic and irritant. Being with him soothed her, yet fired her nerves, relaxed, yet energized her. She loved being with him, though a rawness seeped in when he left her. At times, like right then, he made her feel like a piece of a jigsaw puzzle placed in its proper niche, like cold fingers greeting the comfort of fur-lined gloves.

“I’d like some more coffee, please,” she told the waiter, prolonging their time together.

“So would I,” Luke said.

When Luke stared straight ahead, his left eyelid narrowed in a squint. She turned around and saw the lieutenant approaching their table.

“Just wanted to say good night, Ms. Middleton. Hope to see you again soon,” he said as if Luke were not there.

She hated rudeness, but she didn’t see how she could respond without being discourteous to Luke, so she said nothing. The man plastered a smile on his face and walked on.

This time, she couldn’t dismiss the incident. “What’s going on between you two, Luke?”

He shrugged nonchalantly, but the way his jaw worked told her he wasn’t as unfazed as he’d have her think. “Until tonight, I’d have said nothing was going on between us. Now I’m not so sure. Are you interested in him?”

She glared at him. “I don’t know the man.”

He motioned for their waiter. “Something tells me you will. Shall we go?”

His deep, vibrant voice and his apparent certainty reminded her of her father, and she fought to hide the pain that thinking of him caused her, pain that plowed through her at the thought of him—a proud exemplary citizen brought to his knees. She forced a smile for Luke’s benefit.

Luke braced his right elbow against the wall beside Kate’s front door and supported his head with his right hand. Kate seemed flustered looking up at him, and he wished she’d get used to him.

“Kate, I like being with you. If you’ll tell me what I do that makes you uncomfortable, I’ll stop it.”

Her eyes widened, but he didn’t care if he’d startled her. She ought to expect a man to enjoy looking at her. At the inquiring expression on her face, he added, “I’m a protector, Kate. It’s my nature. Don’t be afraid of me.”

Slowly, she lowered her long lashes, hiding her feelings from him. He knew what she felt, though, because the rising temperature of her body heat warmed up her perfume and released it to enthrall his senses. Her captivating aura swirled around him. She opened her oval eyes, warm brown orbs that promised heaven to a man, and he swallowed his breath. He’d better get out of there before he did something he’d regret.

He’d taken an oath that if he was ever again personally responsible for a woman’s safety, he wouldn’t let that woman care for him and place her trust in him. Never again. The burden of responsibility for another person’s life was a heavy one, and if that person loved a man and believed in him above all other men, the load was that much more onerous. His head told him to keep a lot of space between them, but she had a way about her that made a man want to explore her very essence.

He straightened up and flicked back his hat. “When can I expect my gingerbread?” That ought to purge the atmosphere of tension.

She tossed her head in what he recognized as an affirmation of her dignity. “I’ll…uh…I’ll let you know.”

How it happened, he couldn’t say, but his left hand suddenly rested on her shoulder, and he didn’t move it. “I want a definite answer.”

Without moving a muscle or blinking her eyes, as alert as a sentry on duty, she stared at him a full minute. “Impatience has buried a lot of men.”

Well, she wasn’t going to disconcert him, and he refused to let her know how she affected him, so he forced an ambiguous smile. “You bet. And I don’t expect to join them.”

He let his thumb graze softly over her bottom lip. “Thanks for your company. I’ll be around if you need me.”

The key in his hand caught his gaze, and—careful to avoid looking at the flickering heat in her eyes—he opened her door, handed her the key, and walked off while he had the strength.

“Luke!”

He stopped, swung around and waited. He did not need temptation right then. “What is it, Kate?”

She seemed to hesitate, as though uncertain of her next move. “I was…uh…thinking I could make the gingerbread Friday night, and maybe we could—”

He interrupted her, not allowing her a chance to say something they’d have to deal with. “And could I come over Friday night and get it? I’d planned to spend the weekend with my brother and sister-in-law down in North Carolina, but if you’re going to give me gingerbread, I’ll stop by on my way out of town.”

Her demeanor said she’d meant for them to make an evening of it, as he’d suspected, but if she was disappointed, she didn’t let him see it.

She held up both hands, palms out. “Please don’t let me disturb your plans. I just thought…”

He walked back to her. “Like me, you want one thing, but you’ve been there and you don’t think you want to go that route again. You’ve signaled to me more than once that you don’t want to get involved with me. Whatever your reason, you’re very wise, because it isn’t a good idea.”

“I know we can’t have it both ways,” she said. “Just…just come by the store on Friday, and I’ll have it there for you.”

She was so close, so alluring. He stared down at her, accepting his punishment. Then he shook his head, wondering where his attraction to her would take him. Frustration seeped into him, tugging at his insides, and he kissed her cheek and walked away.

I’m going to stay away from that brother, Kate promised herself as she watched the door of the lobby swing shut behind him. All I need is to fall for a guy who has everything a woman wants and is dead set on keeping it to himself. Once is enough for me. From now on, it’s cool Kate.

The next afternoon, as she shelved a new shipment of books, the door of her store opened and Lieutenant Strange strutted through it. Kate was sure she’d lost her bottom lip.

“Hi,” he greeted like a friend of long standing. “How’re things? Thought I’d drop by and see how you’re doing.”

She told herself to smile and be gracious, that as a businesswoman, she didn’t need enemies. Somehow she managed it, though it was difficult with Luke’s frown mirrored in her mind’s eye.

“Good afternoon, Lieutenant,” she said, uncomfortable with the cool tenor of her greeting, which was at odds with her natural warmth and friendliness. She wondered if his smile was as practiced as it seemed, whether she looked at the man with Luke’s eyes. Some charmer, she decided, as he treated her to a strong dose of male charisma. A tall, polished man with reasonably good looks and a daunting uniform to cover up whatever flaws he had, he should have presented a more commanding picture. Still, she’d seen worse.

His nasal tone got her attention. “I said, let me give you a hand with that.”

A refusal sat on the tip of her tongue, but falling rows of books took care of the matter. She couldn’t move unless he helped, and she watched, exasperated, as Axel Strange wormed his way into her life, putting her firmly in his debt.