A Hopeless Romantic

Laura smiled at his cheek, still the same Dan as ever, and looked at the menu board. ‘Yep, I’m really OK,’ she said, pretending to ignore him, but moving a little closer.

The couple at the next table looked at her distastefully.

‘Perhaps I should move there,’ said Laura, pointing at the chair opposite.

‘No,’ Dan said, and kissed her ear gently. He whispered, ‘Please, I want you near me. Who knows when it might be next?’

‘Well,’ said Laura weakly, ‘that’s what we need to talk about, kind of, isn’t it?’

Dan was looking at the menu board this time and didn’t answer. He snaked his arm around Laura, and gently cupped one of her breasts. Laura wriggled with pleasure and nerves. This wasn’t going the way she’d anticipated. She leant into him, gave into it.

‘I missed you too.’

‘Hm?’ Dan said. ‘I’m having the lamb and mint pie, what about you?’

Food. A day spent at home mulling over her problems and failing to come up with solutions had not calmed Laura down one jot. It was twenty-eight degrees outside, more inside, and she was feeling fairly emotionally fraught. She had eaten very little that day, and had actually been sick before she came out. A lamb and mint pie was not really what she was in the mood for.

‘Um,’ she began, knotting and unknotting her hands in her lap. ‘I’m not that hungry, you know. I feel a bit funny. I might just have a salad.’

‘Really?’ Dan looked at her as if she was insane. ‘You’re OK, aren’t you?’

‘Yes…’ Laura said, beginning to be slightly irritated that the question kept being asked yet not followed through. She steeled herself and put her hand on Dan’s wrist. ‘Look at me.’

He turned to face her.

‘I am fine,’ she said. ‘I’m really fine, in fact. But we need to talk. There’s…things we need to discuss. Tonight.’

Dan looked slightly alarmed.

‘Right. Why aren’t you hungry?’ he said after a pause.

Bemused, Laura attempted to stick to the point she was trying to muddle her way through to, without actually saying, ‘I was sick earlier today because I’ve been suspended from work, and this is driving me up the wall.’

‘I’m not…it’s just…’ She stumbled a bit, and Dan looked even more apprehensive.

‘What?’ he said. ‘Laura, what’s wrong?’

‘Nothing. Well, I was a bit sick today, but that’s normal…nothing. Look…’

Dan’s reaction to this news was unexpected. His jaw dropped and he gaped at her, then gasped several times as if short of breath.

‘You were sick?’ he said. ‘Why?’

Laura wanted to be touched by his concern, but he was looking genuinely horrified. She found it a little off-putting. How could she explain everything to him? Why couldn’t he understand?

‘I…well. I haven’t been feeling too good. Lately.’

‘Are you…ill?’ Dan said, his jaw muscles clenching. ‘Have you been off work?’

‘Well…actually, I have,’ Laura said. ‘Something’s happened. That’s what…’ she swallowed. ‘Things are going to be difficult over the next couple of months, Dan,’ she said softly. ‘That’s why I have to know what’s going on with us. I have to know, I can’t do it any more.’

She sat back in her seat, shaking with adrenalin, and reached out to take his hand, but Dan put his head in his hands and was silent. Laura watched him, a growing sense of unease welling within her.

‘Fuck…’ Dan said eventually. ‘Oh fuck.’ He looked up again, and ran his eyes up and down her body. ‘Just tell me. Tell me the truth. You’re…fuck, you’re pregnant, aren’t you?’

A waitress had materialised beside them during this sentence. She let out an involuntary gasp.

‘Shall I come back?’ she said, glancing from one to the other and looking ultra-curious.

‘No,’ said Laura, slightly maliciously, though it was only afterwards she recognised the emotion for what it was. Dan was sitting stock still, staring into space. ‘Fuck,’ he repeated.

‘I think we’re ready to go here,’ Laura said calmly. ‘Can I just have the Greek salad, please? And Dan – you want the lamb and mint pie, don’t you?’ No response was forthcoming, so she nodded to the waitress. ‘Yes, he’ll have that, and some broccoli, too, please.’

‘Another beer?’ said the waitress, gesturing to Dan’s pint.

‘I think so,’ said Laura briskly, ‘and can I have a bottle of house white, too, please?’

‘One bottle?’ said the waitress incredulously. ‘For you?’

‘Yes, please,’ said Laura airily. ‘I’ve got a bit of a wine head on, you see. When you need a drink, you just need a drink, don’t you!’

‘Hm,’ said the waitress, looking appalled, and she strode off towards the bar, beckoning the barman over towards her and instantly engaging him in whispered conversation, which involved staring blatantly at the happy couple and the rolling of eyes.

Dan awoke from his semi-coma with a start. He stared at Laura, and rubbed his chin. Laura stared back at him, and her heart melted again. He was so gorgeous, with the day or two’s growth of beard, the tanned, chiselled face. Their children would be beautiful, if they took after their father, there was no doubting that. However…

‘How…when?’ said Dan hoarsely. ‘Not you…Fuck, this is…Laura, you swore you were on the pill. Have you told…How? When? Why did you…’

Laura looked at his face again. The questions, the accusations, the problems ahead. And she was glad, glad it wasn’t true, glad she wasn’t giving Dan this news.

She put her finger on his lips. ‘Why the fuck would you think that?’ she said, half-laughing.

Dan didn’t smile. He looked even worse, if anything.

‘You stupid man,’ she said, laughing a little as the waitress returned with the drinks. ‘I’m not pregnant, did I ever say I was?’

‘She’s…not…’ the waitress hissed over their heads, gesturing towards the barman at both of them, her finger waving wildly and shaking her head.

‘You’re not?’ Dan said. ‘Really?’

‘Really,’ said Laura dryly.

Dan licked his upper lip, which was dewy with sweat, and said hoarsely, ‘Thank god for that.’ He slumped back into his seat and took his drink, almost sullenly. ‘Thank god. Sorry, Laura love, but you had me there for a moment. The timing…not good.’

‘I didn’t say…’ Laura began, then broke off. She patted his arm. ‘Calm down, Dan. I wouldn’t do that, I’m not stupid.’

Dan took a huge swig of his drink. ‘No, you’re not,’ he said simply. ‘That’s one of the things I’ve always loved best about you, you know.’

‘Me?’ Laura said, taken aback. ‘Really?’