Organize Your Mind, Organize Your Life

Late evening: caught up on e-mails

In addition to her innate talents, she has a mind that is fully engaged, a mind that is organized.

In her new job, she adds, she’s putting it to good use.

“Organization is even more important in this role!” says Smith, whose job includes helping to create jobs and attract new business to the state. “It’s requiring me more than ever to utilize good time management skills.”

Interesting point: Smith doesn’t make to-do lists, a supposedly common trait among organized people. She does make the most of her greatest resource, which is between the ears. “I use my reflective time to consider what things I got done, what things I need to do,” she says. Smith has also learned how to put aside things and return to them at a more opportune time. These could be complex problems or problem people. Like we all do sometimes, she can get frustrated or angry. The difference is that she knows how to manage those emotions. “It’s better to wait until you can speak thoughtfully and calmly,” she says. “I’ll leave that part of my work alone for a day or two, to get perspective and calm down.”

This reveals another part of her cognitive make-up: a mental nimbleness that allows her to jump off of one task and onto another without losing balance. “It’s rare that I go through a full day without some interruptions and changed priorities,” she says. “You cannot ignore many of these issues and need to be flexible in addressing them.” Another thing about Smith: while many might hail her as a paradigm of “multitasking” or as a “juggler,” she rejects that very terminology. “I try very hard not to multitask,” she says. “Instead, if I can stay focused on the task at hand I find I’m much more effective in completing it. If I try to spread my energies among several things simultaneously, more often than not, I end up with several half-done things.” Again, as in the case with Dr. Shmerling, it is not necessarily a driven mind or a person so single-minded that he or she is an automaton, bereft of joy and focused only on work or success. Catherine Smith, too, enjoys what by any definition would be considered a well-rounded, balanced and satisfying life. She has been married to the same man for twenty-seven years, and they’ve raised two happy and healthy children. She is a passionate outdoorswoman, who enjoys biking and hiking, and also is active in various volunteer and environmental causes. She is on the board of directors of Outward Bound USA (which serves 70,000 students and teachers annually) as well as a former director of the Connecticut Fund for the Environment.

Balance. Flexibility. Poise. An ability to tamp down the emotions and to shift and set your attention on something else with grace and ease. As we shall see, these are all qualities of the well-ordered mind. That is, a mind that is organized and can focus and pay attention. A mind that can stay afloat and buoyant in a turbulent sea of change.

It’s a mind, or a mind-set, that can be yours as well. While you may not have the academic pedigree of Dr. Shmerling or the business resume of Catherine Smith, you do have the capacity to engage and enhance the same cognitive skills that can improve your life. Whether your goals are simply to better focus on your required reading for school or work, better manage your day in order to have more time for your spouse and children or make a quantum leap forward in your career, the ability is there in your mind and in the resources that exist in you, like unused features in your computer that you have but may simply not know how to use.

In the next chapter, Dr. Hammerness will explain the principles—or Rules of Order—and the science behind them by using some cases from his own practice.

In Chapter 2, Coach Meg will show you how to get ready to take the journey of change.

In subsequent chapters, they will examine each of the Rules of Order in depth, giving you both the science behind it—so you have a better appreciation of just how organized your brain is (although you might not feel that way at the moment)—and specific suggestions on how to integrate each of these organizing principles into your life.

Citizens of Distracted America! Men and women all over the disorganized world! Join us in becoming more focused and productive. You have nothing to lose but your car keys, which, by the way, you probably left on the kitchen table.

CHAPTER 1

The Rules of Order/Dr. Hammerness

IT WAS A THURSDAY, AROUND 6:00 PM, and I was sitting in my office in Cambridge, Massachusetts, located along a tree-lined stretch of Alewife Brook Parkway, a few miles outside of Harvard Square.

The four-story brick building, an annex of Massachusetts General Hospital’s psychiatry department, is where I see patients as part of my research and teaching responsibilities at Harvard Medical School. They span the age and occupation spectrum—elementary-school children, grandparents, lawyers, salesmen, housewives and house-husbands—but they have one thing in common: they are coming to see me and my colleagues with familiar complaints and concerns. “I know I could be doing better” is a common one; as is, “I can’t go on like this.”

While the complaints may vary slightly, the symptoms they describe are the same—and consistent with the condition we treat. You’ve probably heard of it: attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

One of those patients, we’ll call her Jill, is late for her appointment.

As I sit catching up on e-mails, the door bursts open and in she flies, out of breath from climbing the two flights of stairs to my second-floor office. She is flustered and clearly upset.

“Sorry I’m late!” Jill says, as she plops down on the chair facing my desk. “You wouldn’t believe my day.”

“Try me,” I say. “Take a deep breath and tell me what’s going on.”

Jill is in her late thirties and a highly educated research scientist, one of the many “knowledge workers” who labor in Cambridge, home of Harvard and Massachusetts Institute of Technology. She takes a moment and launches into her story, which begins a few weeks earlier when she temporarily moved into a friend’s apartment while her own house was being renovated.

“Last night, when I came in,” she says, “I put my keys down somewhere, and this morning, I had not a clue where they could be.”

I nod. I have a feeling I know where this is going.

“I looked everywhere—the usual places, which of course are not the usual places, as it’s not my place. My friend, she really is a good friend, but I am wondering if she has more trouble than I do. You think I am disorganized, you should see her place….”

I know this is the right time to jump in and direct our conversation back to the issue at hand or—like this morning—Jill could continue running in verbal circles and not getting anywhere. “Okay, so, you were looking for your keys…?” Jill smiles. “Oh, right, yes, I was flipping out. I spent thirty minutes trying to find my car keys.”

Jill then stops, shaking her head.

“Well, did you find them?” I ask.

She nods ruefully. “Eventually.”

“Where were they?”

“Right on my friend’s kitchen table! And, of course, I’d walked back and forth through the kitchen ten times while I was looking for them. All that time they were right there…right there in front of me. Unbelievable!”

“Sounds very frustrating…but pretty believable, as those keys have eluded you before.” Jill smiles ruefully, and I press on. “Then what happened?”

“My day was in shambles from that point on.” Jill went on to relate how the half hour she’d spent looking for the keys set off a domino effect of tardiness and inefficiency—problems galore. She arrived at work late for a meeting and opened the door to the conference room just in time to interrupt an important point that one of her company’s head honchos was making. Embarrassed and angry at herself, she returned from the meeting and finally got in front of her computer to find a barrage of e-mail reminders that further annoyed and overwhelmed her. She sent out a flurry of responses, including a snippy reply to the wrong person, who was not happy to get it (neither was the correct recipient, when she eventually cleared up the mistake). Dealing with her e-mail gaffe kept her from attending to a project due by noon. Her deadline blown, she skipped lunch, scrambling to get her work done, and what she did hand in—two hours late—was subpar and received with something less than an enthusiastic response by her supervisor.

In other words, it was a crummy day for Jill. It wasn’t the first time such a day had begun with something misplaced or by an episode of forgetfulness, but the snowball effect of losing her keys still surprised and upset her.

“This happens all the time,” Jill says, teary-eyed, angry and ashamed. “At this rate, I could lose my job…just because I can’t keep track of stupid things like keys.”

I’m sorry to hear that Jill is upset, but her story is not unusual. Jill has ADHD—and she is certainly not alone. It’s estimated that about 4 percent of adults and 5–7 percent of children in this country meet the medical criteria for ADHD. It’s equally safe to estimate that at some point in their lives almost everyone has felt as if they have ADHD, too. The symptoms of ADHD include forgetfulness, impulsiveness, losing items, making careless errors, being easily distracted and lacking focus. Who hasn’t exhibited one of these symptoms in the last few days…or even hours? Who hasn’t lost their car keys? Who hasn’t been distracted in the car (once the keys are located), on the job or at home—by a text, a tweet, an e-mail, a cell phone ring? Who hasn’t been late for a meeting or missed a deadline or made a mistake because they were disorganized that day, lost focus that morning or were distracted that minute? That doesn’t necessarily mean you have ADHD, but it does suggest you might be part of the distracted masses that now make up such a large part of our society. If so, you’ve come to the right place because we’re going to show you how to get back on track.

ADHD or OBLT?

(Overwhelmed By Life Today)

If you answer Often or Very Often (on a ranking scale of Never, Rarely, Sometimes, Often or Very Often) to four or more of the following questions, it may be beneficial to consult with a health professional to see if you have ADHD.

In the last six months….

1 How often do you have trouble wrapping up the final details of a project once the challenging parts have been done? (never/rarely/sometimes/often/very often)

2 How often do you have difficulty getting things in order when you have to do a task that requires organization?

3 How often do you have problems remembering appointments or obligations?

4 When you have a task that requires a lot of thought, how often do you avoid or delay getting started?

5 How often do you fidget or squirm with your hands or feet when you have to sit for a long time?

6 How often do you feel overly active and compelled to do things, like you were driven by a motor?

Source: World Health Organization

Whether or not you have ADHD—and chances are, you probably don’t—the purpose of this book is to inform, inspire and organize your brain. Whether forgetfulness is a “symptom” of a disorder for a person like Jill or an “issue” for someone else who doesn’t have the same degree of severity, this book will approach it in a straightforward way—and with equally straightforward and effective solutions.

What was first labeled the “Distraction Epidemic” by Slate magazine in 2005 has now reached epic proportions, right up there with the obesity epidemic and is of no less import than that or other public health crises that have befallen modern society. In a 2009 New York magazine story on the attention crisis, David Meyer of the University of Michigan described it as nothing less than “a cognitive plague that has the potential to wipe out an entire generation of focused and productive thought” and has drawn comparisons to the insidious damage of nicotine addiction.

“People aren’t aware of what’s happening to their mental processes,” says Meyer, “in the same way that people years ago couldn’t look into their lungs and see the residual deposits.” The difference here is that unlike the “mad men” of the 1950s and 1960s who went around merrily sucking up packs of unfiltered Camels, seemingly oblivious to the harmful effects, most of us today know that we are having problems staying focused, paying attention and maintaining some sense of order in our lives.