She stared at him across the distance that separated them, a multitude of desires hanging in the air, a multitude of doubts filling the chasm between them. How could she believe him? How could she believe anything he said? She did not trust this intimacy—it was her own response to it that she feared the most.
‘My heart is my affair, Edward. But where we are concerned, I advise you to look elsewhere.’
Turning on her heel, she swept from the room.
* * *
Returning to the hall, Arabella felt her spirits lift considerably when she saw that her beloved brother Stephen had arrived. Her face broke into a wide smile as she ran into his arms and felt his close about her.
‘Oh, Stephen!’ she said laughingly, drawing back and looking up into his familiar face. ‘I cannot tell you how delighted I am to see you again. It has been too long. Far too long.’
It was three years since last she had seen him and she observed how those years had taken their toll. Of medium height and with light brown hair that fell to his shoulders, he was leaner than she remembered, his eyes not so merry as they had once been and his face lined with worry. But with a moustache and small beard in the style of the executed King Charles, he was still a handsome man.
‘It has, Arabella.’ He studied her closely, his eyes tender. ‘How are you?’
She smiled gently. ‘Things could be better, but we get by.’
‘And you have suffered much.’
‘Yes, but I had Alice to help me through it and I’ve had much to occupy my time here. Have you seen Alice?’
‘Not yet. She’s settling the children. Thank God when the Bircot estate was sequestered she was allowed to continue living here and receive a percentage of the income. I gather this is the case with many of the wives of men who fought for the King and continue to support the cause.’
‘That is true, but as you will recall she had to go to London to plead for it personally before the committee concerned at the Goldsmiths’ Hall. Robert may have fought on the King’s side, but wherever Alice’s sympathies are directed, she did not. She has done no wrong and cannot be held responsible for what he did—there can be no guilt by association.’
‘We must be thankful for that.’
‘There have been times when she has been quite desperate.’
‘She is not alone. The taxes and fines imposed upon anyone who supported the king are extortionate. Is she able to pay them?’
‘Yes. I was able to help her there. John’s lawyer managed to save a small property he owned in Bath from sequestration. When I came to live with Alice and the fines on Bircot rose to such a degree that she could not pay them, I sold the house in Worcester to help.’
‘That was indeed generous of you, Arabella. But when your husband’s house was destroyed in Wales, why did you not go to Bath and live there?’
‘I had a child to care for. Alice suggested I come to Bircot. Having no wish to live by myself, I agreed. Alice wrote, telling you that the Roundheads were encamped at Bircot and took almost everything we had. There was also an incident when Alice and the children would have been turned out and the house occupied by a Roundhead officer had smallpox not been rife in the area. One of her children was ill with a fever at the time. Mercifully it turned out not to be smallpox, but Alice did not enlighten the Roundhead intent on taking up residence at Bircot Hall and casting her out. For this reason she was allowed to remain in the house and he left with great haste.’
‘Has she talked about going to join Robert in France?’
‘Of course she would dearly love to join him, but it’s likely they would lose the house and land were she to do that. She finds it hard. Separation from her husband adds a further distressing element to her life.’
‘Poor Alice. I hope it is soon over and some form of order returns to England so those in exile can return.’ He glanced around the hall. ‘Where is Edward? You have spoken to him?’
Arabella’s expression became cool. ‘I have just been tending his wound in the still room. No doubt he will appear when he’s donned his shirt.’
Stephen glanced at her sullen features. ‘I am sorry, Arabella. I know what you must be thinking, but I had no choice but to bring him here. Do you still bear him ill will?’
She nodded. ‘Yes, I suppose I do, but it doesn’t matter any more. Too much has happened to me in the last five years to spare a thought for Edward Grey.’
Stephen studied her serious face, unconvinced by her remark. ‘Marriage to John was not an easy time for you, was it, Arabella?’
‘No,’ she answered, seeing no reason to hide the truth from Stephen, who had known what John was like. ‘But he is dead now and he can’t hurt me any more.’
‘I blame myself. I was the one who brought him to our home. Had I known Father would seize upon the opportunity to marry you off to him, I would not have done so.’
‘You have nothing to blame yourself for, Stephen. It wasn’t your fault.’
‘It is generous of you to say so.’
She smiled. ‘I mean it.’
‘I—hope you don’t mind Edward coming here, Arabella. He is worried about his son. There really is no one to care for him. It would be a great help if he could remain here for a time—with you and Alice. It will be good for Dickon to be among children.’
He turned suddenly when Alice appeared across the hall. Striding to meet her, Arabella watched the touching and emotional scene between brother and sister as they greeted each other after so long an absence. Margaret was upstairs settling the children.
‘I’m sorry to hear about the troubles you’ve had, Alice,’ Stephen said as they approached Arabella. ‘I’m proud of the way you are coping.’
Alice smiled. ‘I do my best, Stephen, although I confess it isn’t easy without Robert. It’s a comfort and a great help having Arabella at Bircot Hall, and Margaret is a great help with the children.’
‘I look forward to seeing them. They will be well grown, I imagine.’
‘They are and my eldest, Charles—he is seven now—favours you in looks, Stephen.’ Giving him a sidelong look, she said, ‘But is it not time you had a brood of your own? You have been a bachelor too long.’
He laughed, tweaking her cheek playfully. ‘When I meet a woman with your beauty and attributes, dear Alice, I shall, but until then I shall remain single and free.’
Alice sighed in mock surrender. ‘What are we going to do with you? You are strong and handsome and you have many fine qualities, Stephen.’
‘Thank you, Alice. But I am not handsome like Edward, I fear.’
‘Are you not?’ she remarked with a twinkle in her eye. ‘As I recall when we were all at home, the serving maids didn’t think so. Speaking of Edward, have you seen him?’
‘Not yet. I will go and find him.’
‘I trust you and those with you are hungry. We have limited provisions, but I will soon put something together.’
‘That would be appreciated. We haven’t eaten since early morning. And you and Arabella must join us. England may be a dark and dreary place under the rule of Cromwell, the luxuries and amusements we so loved in the past denied us, but we will sit and eat and be a happy family whilst we can.’
‘You are not going to stay long?’ Arabella asked, unable to hide her concern.
He shook his head wearily. ‘We cannot. We only have a few hours here.’
She looked up at him with fear-bright eyes. ‘You are going to join Charles Stuart?’
‘I must, Arabella. I remain loyal to the end. It is my duty.’
Alice expelled a deep sigh as she watched their brother walk away. ‘It is so good to see him again, Arabella—and to have a man in the house once more.’ She searched her sister’s face anxiously. ‘How badly is Sir Edward hurt?’
‘He shall live,’ Arabella replied, sinking wearily into a chair by the hearth and resting her feet on the fender. ‘The wound is clean and will soon heal.’