Destitute On His Doorstep

‘Can I not?’ He looked at her with that faint amusement that she was already learning to detest. It was the same look that he might give to a bad-tempered, obstinate child. An amused look, but quelling. ‘I believe that you know better than that, and since my method of persuasion might be construed as rough, it might be as well, while you reside on this estate, to do exactly as you are told.’

Jane was tempted to tell him that she would reside anywhere but near him, but seeing Mary standing in the doorway, she considered it wise to hold her tongue. Never had she felt so wretched or confused. Later she would break down and weep, but at that moment she was caught in an icy world from which she could not escape.

‘The steward’s house is habitable. I’ll instruct the housekeeper to have some food sent over and some linen.’

His eyelids lowered, masking the expression in his eyes. A muscle pumped along his jaw and Jane felt herself dismissed in a way that she thought was disconcertingly regal—for a Parliamentary man.

‘Excuse me. I would like to go and have a word with Mary.’

Her head throbbing, Jane began to cross the hall when suddenly nausea rose in her throat and she stumbled, finding it difficult to breathe. Placing the back of her hand to her forehead as her vision became blurred, she stopped to overcome a wave of dizziness. She summoned her will-power to keep upright, but she had no strength left and her thoughts refused to obey her. Dimly she heard Mary call her name and was aware that Colonel Russell was striding towards her, then she swayed and slumped to the floor with no memory of falling.

From far away she heard one of the servants gasp and say, ‘Is it the plague?’ and Colonel Russell briskly order the doctor to be sent for.

No, a voice shrieked in Jane’s throbbing head. No—not that. Not the plague. It couldn’t be. Dear God, no, it screamed as she was swept up into a pair of strong arms, where she struggled before she was enshrouded in darkness.

Jane sensed the presence of someone in the darkened room as she floated in a comfortable grey haze. Always there were hands and voices near her, muffled and meaningless, flowing past her in a whispering stream, but she could not pay attention and was incapable of joining them. She was content to linger in this blissful state, because it allowed her to evade the haunting questions and nameless fears lurking at the back of her mind.

Reason and memory played no part in the timeless vacuum in which she existed. She was living and breathing, but set apart from the world. With a natural buoyancy her mind began to rise slowly upwards, and then there was a tiny aura of light. Voices drifted towards her down a long tunnel, the words muted, encouraging her to respond.

‘Jane? Can you hear me?’

The voice was soft and close to her ear and familiar. She felt panic as she was a drawn up into the world of awareness. She felt quite odd, but for the first time in unaccountable days, the fever clouds had rolled back. A great weariness weighted down her limbs.

‘Jane?’

She tried to open her eyes, but they were stuck tight. Suddenly she remembered where she was and what had happened before she had collapsed. She also remembered the words the servant had uttered and in her dark world the reality that she might have the dreaded plague hit her.

‘Where does it hurt?’

The question was so irrelevant in the context of the discomfort that consumed her that, if she hadn’t known she was dying, she would have laughed. Fear, the weakness she despised above all others, spread through her, evading all her efforts to subdue it, and a tremor passed through her at the thought of her life being cut short by such a terrible disease.

‘I—I cannot open my eyes. They’re so sore,’ she whispered. Her voice was weak and hoarse and her throat and lips were dry. Her body was burning hot. Hearing the sound of a cloth being dipped in water, she breathed a sigh of relief when she felt someone bathe the stickiness from her eyes that kept them glued together.

‘There, is that better?’ Mary murmured.

Jane’s eyes flickered open and she nodded and blinked. Painful shards of brightness caused her to close them again and she winced, quickly shading them with her hand.

‘It’s the light,’ a man’s voice said. ‘Pull the curtains.’

Again she blinked her eyes. The room was darker now. The air in the room was strangely still, the colours in the fabrics muted. The indistinct shadow of the man gradually became clearer. He gained her full attention. Inexplicably a sharp pang of anxiety ran through her even before she saw his face clearly.

Disconcerted, she pressed back against the pillows and eyed him warily as he came closer. Probing her memory, she fathomed the cause of her dismay. The darkly handsome face should have stirred feelings in her woman’s breast. Yet there was something about the moment that made her heart lurch and grow cold within her chest.

She opened her mouth to speak, but a hoarse croak was the only sound she could manage. Mary, recognising her need, slipped an arm beneath her shoulders and raised her up and placed the rim of a cup containing cold water to her lips. When she had quenched her thirst, Mary lowered her back on to the pillows.

‘There. How are you feeling now?’

‘I’m not sure,’ she replied. Her clothes had been removed and she now wore one of the two nightgowns she had brought with her. Her gaze moved searchingly around the room that was so achingly familiar to her. This had been her parents’ room. She lay in a large four-poster bed with overdrapes of scarlet and green.

The man she recognised as Francis Russell was watching her closely, hands on lean hips, short dark hair slightly tousled. His eyes were bright and vivid blue, as blue as the sky on a summer’s day. She frowned, wondering why he was here.

‘I’m glad to see you are back with us, Mistress Lucas,’ he said, his voice imbued with warmth. ‘You were sleeping so soundly we were beginning to wonder if you would ever wake. As it is you’ve slept two nights and most of three days.’

Francis had been deeply concerned about her. From the moment she’d been confined to bed he’d enquired after her almost hourly. Mary had assured him that although Jane was very ill the physician was confident she would make a good recovery. When Mary had left the room to fetch fresh linen, he’d gone in to see for himself. As he’d stared down at her, her gleaming hair spilling over the pillows, guilt and fear made his chest ache. She looked so ill, but what struck him forcibly was how small she looked in that great bed, tucked around with bedcovers and pillows.

When she’d arrived at Bilborough, she had faced him with all the self-assurance of an educated, prim and proper young lady. But when he’d gazed down upon her face, unguarded in sleep, there was nothing prim about that soft, generous mouth and those long curling lashes that lay like crescents against her cheeks. He realised as he watched her chest rise and fall with fitful little gasps, how vulnerable she was, how innocent she looked. She had told him she had no family. It would seem she needed him more than she realised and the urge to protect he’d felt on their first encounter was stronger than ever.

When Mary had returned and seen the deeply etched lines of fatigue and strain on his face she’d urged him to get some rest—’Otherwise when she opens her eyes the sight of you might frighten her into a relapse.’

‘You do remember me?’ he asked softly, and as he spoke with a lightness to his words, no one would guess at the terror that had gripped his heart when she’d collapsed and how he’d prayed to God for the first time in years not to let her die.

She nodded, but the movement made her head hurt. ‘Yes, Colonel Russell,’ she answered tightly, feeling the dreamlike sense of submergence threatening to engulf her again. ‘I remember you.’

He moved to stand closer, lending her his undivided attention. She could not take her eyes off him, for never had she seen a man as handsome as he was. His dark hair, curling slightly, was just long enough at the nape to brush the open collar of a shirt that appeared no less than dazzling white in the dimmed light. ‘Please don’t,’ she said, suddenly alarmed that he was about to venture too close. Struggling to raise her head, she was overcome by a dry cough. When the cough had abated she managed to gasp, ‘Please don’t come any closer. You mustn’t.’

He ignored her and came to stand next to the bed, looming over her. ‘And why not, pray?’

‘You’ll become infected.’

‘I’m quite safe. I had the illness when I was a lad.’

‘Then you were fortunate to survive it. Better if you all leave me to die in peace.’

‘Die? Who said anything about dying?’ He chuckled low in his throat. ‘Dear me, Mistress Lucas, you are feeling sorry for yourself.’

Jane’s eyes widened in disbelief at his cruelty. ‘Sir, you are indeed a callous brute. I know the plague spares very few.’

His eyebrows arched upwards. ‘The plague? Who mentioned the plague?’

She stared at him dazedly. ‘Why—I—I thought …’

He seemed suddenly amused. ‘There is no need for alarm. According to the physician who examined you, you have nothing more serious than the measles.’

Jane looked at him, suddenly feeling very foolish. ‘The measles?’

He nodded. ‘Show her, Mary.’

Mary produced a mirror. Turning her head away Jane peered into it, unable to believe it was herself staring back. Her face was covered with a red blotchy rash. She was appalled by what she saw. Tears welled in her eyes and she bit her trembling lip. ‘Oh—just look at me. I look dreadful. I—I was convinced I had …’

‘The plague? No, Mistress Lucas,’ Francis said, seeing the gallant effort she made to bring herself under control before she turned her head on the pillow and looked at him once more. ‘Measles can be serious, but the physician is convinced you will get well. He has advised that you remain in bed for a few days. You must drink plenty and he’s left medicine for you to take that should ease your cough. The rash should fade in a few days, although your cough may persist a little longer. I’m afraid you will have to stay here for the time being.’

Having just been subjected to several moments of fear and feeling more than a little foolish, Jane reacted with a flash of anger, which had more to do with feeling mortified that he should see her looking so ugly, so wretched—which did nothing for her self-esteem—than anything else.

‘With you?’

‘I’m afraid so. Unless …’ he smiled lazily, mocking her with her own words ‘… you insist on leaving, since you have an aversion to residing under the same roof as a Roundhead.’

Jane stared at him, wishing she were not confined to bed so she could strike out at him. ‘I am sorry to impose on you. I can imagine how my presence must inconvenience you. I shall do my best to get well and be out of here as soon as I am able.’