Marriage Under the Mistletoe

His eyes widened. “What are you looking for?”

“Nothing,” she said flatly. “I have everything I need.”

“Then you’re one of the lucky few.”

“What does that mean?” she asked quickly.

“It means that most of us are looking for something—friendship, success, love, sex.”

Evie swallowed hard. “And you’re looking for sex?” she replied, and couldn’t believe the words were coming out of her mouth.

“As much as the next guy, I suppose.”

It was a fairly relaxed response—when Evie knew there was nothing relaxed about what was happening between them. A fire was building and they were both fanning the flames.

He wants me? My God, I’ve forgotten how it feels to be wanted.

For a second she thought about Gordon. About wanting him. About how good it had felt. And then her thoughts shifted again to Scott and suddenly she didn’t want to think, or make comparisons or imagine for even a moment that what she’d had with her husband could ever be replaced.

“I’m not interested in...” She colored, felt the heat rise up her neck. “I’m not in a position to pursue something that’s... What I’m trying to say is that I’m not interested in casual sex.”

Scott linked his hands together and looked at her with such burning intensity Evie couldn’t drag her gaze away. “Believe me, Evie, if I made love to you, there would be nothing casual about it.”

I’m dreaming this...that’s the only explanation. “But we—”

“But we won’t,” he said decisively. “Yeah, I get that.” He stared directly into her eyes. “I’m not entirely clueless, Evie. I have figured out what kind of woman you are, even if my sister hadn’t pointed out your virtues.”

“Callie said something to you about me?” she asked, mortified, and not quite believing they were having this conversation. Her virtues? How dull and unexciting did that make her sound? “What did she say?”

“Word for word?” he asked, smiling. “That you were likable and generous.”

Definitely dull and unexciting. “Damned with faint praise,” she said, and cradled her mug.

“Not accurate, then?”

Evie laughed. “Oh, I’d say it’s accurate. But it makes me sound old and boring.”

Scott unlinked his hands and leaned back in his chair. “How old are you?” he asked quietly. “Thirty-five? Thirty-six?”

“Six.”

“Which hardly qualifies you for a walker.”

She liked how his words made her feel—liked the slight grin on his face, which teased the edges of his dimple. “I suppose not. But, you know, despite what your sister said about me, I’m not always as nice as people make out.”

“Must be hard living up to the expectations of others.”

Evie looked at him, tilted her head and smiled. “I guess you’d know a bit about that yourself?”

“I would?”

She shrugged and then narrowed her gaze, trying to focus her thoughts into words. “You’re expected to race into burning buildings, climb up trees to rescue kittens and risk your life for people you don’t know simply because of the profession you chose. Sounds like you’ve got the tougher gig.”

“It’s just a job,” he said flatly.

“And you love it?” she asked.

“I couldn’t imagine doing anything else.”

“Because you’re addicted to the risks?”

He looked at her a little warily. “Because I took an oath to preserve life and property.”

“Someone else’s life,” she said automatically. “Someone else’s property.”

“You disapprove?” he shot back, sharper, as if she’d hit a button inside him.

Evie took a moment. She took a few steps forward and pulled out a chair. As she sat she considered what she was about to say. She didn’t want to sound irrational—she didn’t want to admit to something and give Scott a window into her fears and thoughts. She’d said too much already.

But suddenly she wanted to say it. She wanted to get it out. The words formed on the edge of her tongue, and before the sensible part of her kicked in, she spoke. “My husband was an Emergency Services volunteer. One night there was a cyclone moving off the coast and he went out to help evacuate the holiday park because the strong winds were overturning trailers and camper vans. He was killed preserving life and property. And I was left to raise our son alone.”

Chapter Four

Scott heard the pain in Evie’s voice, felt it through to the marrow in his bones. It rang in his ears over and over. And his career suddenly loomed like a red flag. Her husband had died serving the community and he knew without a doubt that a firefighter from California didn’t have a chance of being part of her life.

Not that he wanted to get involved...he was just thinking, wondering. And as he looked at her and saw the pain in her green eyes, Scott felt compelled to tell her he was sorry for her loss, but he knew the words would be inadequate.

“You’re angry?” he said, not quite sure where he was going.

She shook her head quickly, as if she knew it was what he’d ask. “It’s difficult to explain. I...sometimes I feel...I feel like...”

“Like what? I’m listening,” Scott assured her when her voice faded.

She met his eyes directly, and his heart knocked behind his ribs. Strange, he thought, watching her, waiting for her to speak. Everything about Evie called out to some kind of inner radar inside him. Despite her outer layer of easygoing friendliness, Scott knew, without being sure how, that she was a complex woman who felt things deeply.

She took a long breath. “I feel like I should have known something was going to happen.”

There was guilt in her words. And Scott knew guilt all too well. “You couldn’t possibly have foreseen the future.”

“I’m not sure. Gordon and I had this connection. It was strong—unbreakable. We always knew when something wasn’t right and when we needed each other.”

His insides heated up. She’d obviously loved her husband deeply. The notion shouldn’t mean anything to him. Strangely, it did. “But?”

She shrugged. “But that night it felt different. The cyclone had been upgraded three times in the twelve hours prior to the evacuation of the holiday park. We were taping windows and clearing the yard of potential flying objects, like garden chairs, when the call out came. He left immediately.”

Scott’s skin prickled. “He left you here alone?”

She shook her head. “No,” she said quickly. “Noah was here. His ex-wife and eldest daughter were away at the time, so he came over to give Gordon a hand preparing for the storm. After Gordon left I went downstairs and sat by the front window, looking out into the dark, listening to the wind and rain.”