Mr Dixon Disappears

Pockets emptied, hands wiped, Israel was escorted through the offices and down the first set of stairs into the department store, which was filled with policemen, swarming like locusts, and then down the mahogany staircase and out of the front of the building, where none other than Ted Carson happened at that moment to be arriving in his cab, his old Austin Allegro with its illuminated orange bear on the roof (‘Ted’s Cabs: If You Want To Get There, Call the Bear’). Ted was supposed to have been there over an hour ago, helping Israel set up the exhibition. He was too late now.

Ted wound down his window.

‘What’s he done now then?’ said Ted, as if all he could expect from Israel was trouble, and as though the sight of him being escorted handcuffed by armed police officers was pretty much a normal turn of events.

‘Ted!’ said Israel.

‘Ted,’ said Sergeant Friel.

‘Brendan. What’s the trouble?’

‘There’s been a theft, Ted. This is a crime scene now.’

‘Aye, well,’ said Ted, who made the fact of Dixon and Pickering’s having turned into a crime scene sound no more interesting than a change in the weather. ‘But what’s he to do with it?’

‘We’re to bring him in for questioning.’

‘Ach, him?’ Ted laughed. ‘Are you away in the head, Brendan? He’s the librarian, for goodness sake.’

‘Aye.’

‘And he’s English,’ added Ted, as if that were some further excuse or a disability.

‘Right enough, Ted, but I’m closing this area down.’

Ted got out of the car. His bald head glistened, in the dawn. He drew himself up to his full bearish height, and towered over Sergeant Friel.

‘Now, what would you want to be taking him away for, Brendan? We’ve the exhibition to be sorting here.’

‘Sorry, Ted. This is a serious crime.’

‘Aye, but he’s not going to have anything to do with anything, is he?’

‘That’s what we’re trying to establish, Ted.’

‘Come on, Brendan. You wouldnae send him to fetch a loaf, would you? Look at him.’

‘Sorry, Ted, we’ve to get on here.’

‘Well, let me come with him then,’ said Ted, putting out an arm to block Sergeant Friel’s way. ‘I’ll follow yous in the car.’

‘I don’t think that’d be a good idea, Ted, would it? You’re hardly going to want to be seeing the inside of the station now, are you?’

‘Ach, Brendan.’

‘This isn’t your business now, Ted. You’ll be obstructing us if I’ve to speak to you again.’

Ted dropped his arm.

‘Ach, honest to God, Brendan. The boy’ll not be able to tell you anything. I mean, look at him. He’s not a baldie notion.’

‘Hello?’ said Israel. ‘Excuse me?’

‘You keep out of this,’ said Ted.

‘This is serious, Ted,’ said Sergeant Friel. ‘We’re taking him in.’

Sergeant Friel and his accompanying officers began hurrying Israel away.

‘Ach. No. Brendan!’ shouted Ted. ‘Hold on, Brendan! Israel! D’ye have a lawyer, Israel?’ called Ted.

‘What?’ Israel was starting to panic now.

Israel was bundled into an unmarked police car.

‘It’s all right!’ called Ted. ‘I’ll get on to me cousin. Don’t panic, son. We’ll have this sorted in two shakes of a lamb’s tail.’

4 (#ulink_86f95a02-71d5-529b-ae68-ff392f379f54)

He was driven away in the car, Sergeant Friel to the left of him, an armed policeman to his right, another armed policeman up front, and the driver. As they pulled off, Israel saw more policemen sealing off the entrance to Dixon and Pickering’s with tape.

‘Shutting up shop?’

Sergeant Friel wrote this down.

‘Are you writing everything down?’

Sergeant Friel wrote this down.

‘You’re like my recording angel.’

Sergeant Friel wrote this down.

‘Oh, God.’

Sergeant Friel wrote this down.

‘That’s it. Look.’ Israel shut his mouth. ‘My lips are sealed. Look. Mm mmm mm mmm.’

Sergeant Friel wrote this down.

They were driving out of Tumdrum on the coast road, the dark sea up high and fretting beside them. Israel was straining to see in the rear-view mirror, to see if Ted was following in his cab; he didn’t seem to be.

‘Now, why don’t you just tell us what happened, Israel?’ said Sergeant Friel, once they’d cleared the last of the housing estates and were out on the open road.

‘What do you mean, what happened?’ said Israel. He didn’t like the way things were developing. ‘Where are we going?’

‘You just tell us what happened.’