Destined to Play

His voice wanders off and his breath is hot in my ear as his tongue tickles and his teeth nibble my lobe. His fingers are relentless in their mission, penetrating, but falling short of securing the relief I urgently desire. My body prepares to explode. Then his voice registers in my ear with profound clarity.

‘Alexandra, promise me this, right now.’ His words are strong, deliberate. My body is quivering in anticipation. ‘It’s simple. No sight. No questions. Forty-eight hours.’

I have too many feelings and emotions to fully comprehend my circumstances. My brain, my body, my heart are all focused on one thing and one thing only — release! I’m not sure whether I love or hate that he can do this to me, has always been able to do this as no one else has. I always feel so helpless, so dependent on his next move. It’s as if my body renders my mind irrelevant.

‘Promise me.’ The deep low voice penetrates my haze, my stupor.

Oh god, my throbbing lust becomes agonising as the room starts spinning. It is too hot for me to handle, heat erupting from within, steam billowing around me. I try to thrust my hips forward to create friction where I so urgently need it to relieve the intensity he has so cleverly masterminded. I am physically prevented from doing so. My jolting movement hardens his resolve, his body strengthening its grip around mine.

‘Promise me, right now.’ The strong voice sends its final command.

‘Whatever. I, I, prom—’ I can’t manage to complete the words as they stutter out in a tangle. ‘Ohhh god,’ I sigh. He is relentless!

‘LOUDER.’ His voice booms into my ear like a tribal drum quickening its pounding beat …

‘I promise,’ I pant. ‘I promise.’ I sigh. ‘I’ll do whatever you want … this weekend. Whatever, just …’

At these words, his fingers plunge deeply into my vagina sending me into the orgasm my body so frantically, so desperately, so completely desires. A primal scream escapes me …

‘Thank you, sweetheart, problem solved.’ I hear a seductive, distant whisper in my ear.

He finds the sweet spot of my clitoris, which sets alight a new series of convulsions that milk my juices for all they are worth, while pinioning me through relentless spasms of mindless release. Without considering for a second the implications or consequences of the words that have just escaped me, I greedily allow myself to pass through the gates of pleasure he has so carefully constructed, then guarded, then ultimately controlled.

***

I’m not sure how long I have been in my own faraway world when I drift back to reality. I notice my skin is starting to wrinkle prune-like, so some time must have passed. I slowly float back to consciousness.

‘Are you okay? You were amazing.’ I hear the wonder in his voice. Ah, yes, in Jeremy’s arms, in the bath. That’s where I am, becoming fully aware. I am soft and full and voluptuous, still floating in a decadent haze of delirium.

‘Mmm … I’m wonderful, how are you?’

‘Let’s get you out of the bath before you catch a chill.’ He steadily lifts me up and out of the bath and wraps a towel around my shoulders. It is thick and soft and I embrace its warmth.

As he stands behind me with his arms wrapped around me, we face each other in the reflection in the mirror. Seeing him like this, our height difference appears exacerbated and for some reason, I wish I were wearing high heels to compensate for the disparity between us. I am acutely aware of his nakedness behind me, which makes me literally weak at the knees.

He slowly unravels the towel as our eyes maintain contact in the mirror and lets it drop leisurely but deliberately to the floor. I am left staring at our naked forms in the mirror. His eyes are rapturous. We say not a word but regard one another with a deep sense of lust and history that has become more astonishing and complex over the years than we ever could have imagined.

‘You are even more breathtaking than I remember.’ Jeremy finally breaks the silence.

‘You have always been and continue to be too beautiful, Jeremy,’ I say, not wanting to acknowledge his comment.

‘Alexa, open your eyes, and really look at yourself.’ He notices I am trying to look anywhere but at my own reflection. He steps us closer toward the full-length mirror so I have no option but to be face-to-face with myself. Sometimes it is a wonderful thing that others see differently to what we see of ourselves. Interestingly, I find myself looking for any obvious signs of childbirth. It’s strange that I have never had that thought before this moment. Thankfully, the light is good to me. As these thoughts flitter through my mind, Jeremy clasps my hands together and lifts them from my side to high above my head, lifting me slightly off my heels. Bending my arms backwards so my elbows are the highest point in the mirror, there is nothing obstructing my face as my body rests against his. Jeremy is utterly irresistible in this erect, virile form. The sight of both of us standing naked before the mirror, embraced by candlelight, becomes more sensually heightened and more emotional than I could have ever imagined.

The electricity between us is palpable. It fascinates me, this closeness, this intimacy and I allow myself to linger at the image before my eyes. What a remarkable exercise, staring at each other like this, I think, taking a professional perspective. Instead of it being something to avoid at all costs, the intensely erotic nature of our steaming bodies in the mirror emanates sexual energy, even more so as I am still reeling from a delectable orgasm.

‘I want you to capture this moment in your memory. Take a moment to understand and absorb how much beauty is within you. Your flushed cheeks. Your buoyant, full breasts. Your glistening thighs. Your eyes, wild with lust and desire. Remember this is who you are, an infinitely sexual and sensual creature. I have never desired anyone as much as I have you.’

I can feel the intensity of the truth in his words as much as I feel his manhood swelling thickly behind me.

I barely recognise my reflection in the mirror.

Who am I?

Time stands still.

The moment is utterly intoxicating, breathtaking.

I can’t say how much time has elapsed between these moments and when he eventually releases me to wrap the towel around my shoulders.

‘I need to organise a few things and it is probably best if you have some space. Take your time; you’ll notice the cupboards are well stocked. I have a surprise waiting for you out here, when you are ready.’ Jeremy kisses the inside of my wrist and closes the bathroom door behind him. My stomach once again makes its presence felt in my body, as does the heat between my legs and my swollen breasts. How does he do this to me?

I steady myself, placing both hands on the cold marble of the basin bench. I stare at the mirror, looking directly at my face, into my eyes. My body feels energetic, euphoric. I can’t remember a time I felt this physical and alive. My mind is desperately trying to maintain balance and perspective. What am I doing? Unfortunately, my body appears to be the weightier component as I let out a surrendering sigh and embrace the fullness of the moment.

Jeremy was right about the bathroom being well stocked; once again his memory for detail is astounding. Little handwritten notes scattered here and there, Jo Malone perfume — one beautifully designed large bottle of my favourite fragrance blend, with enough room to add any finishing touches from the collection of smaller bottles. Body lotion that my skin devours so quickly, I indulgently allow myself a second helping. Yves Saint Laurent make-up bag with foundations, concealer, eyeliner, lipsticks, lip liners, mascaras, all in hues complementary to my skin tone — everything I could need for the weekend and more. Wow. I decide to let myself go a little crazy and enjoy all of them, thinking how much fun it is, like being in cosmetic boutique heaven and helping myself to anything from the skin care and cosmetic range. I let out enthusiastic little yelps as I open boxes, experiment and test an array of gorgeous products featured regularly in high end glossy magazines but never before seen on my bathroom shelf.

I must have been lost in my own cosmetic wonderland for quite some time when I hear a light knock on the door.

‘Alex, you are still alive in there, aren’t you?’ Jeremy’s voice softly permeates my hedonistic atmosphere.

‘Oh, yes, ah, sorry, I can’t believe all of this. When did you have time? How did you know? I mean, well, it has been so long … This is absolutely amazing, I feel like a child opening all of my favourite presents …’ My words tumble over the top of each other.

‘Questions, questions,’ he says with a chuckle, although I detect an undertone of threat in his voice, which stops me dead.

My thoughts immediately drift back to his words in the bath, the promise I made in a moment of weak, lustful desire. The hair on my skin automatically stands on end; my posture straightens like a cat tensing to sense imminent danger. What was it he was talking about in the bath? He wasn’t really serious, was he? Wanting me to be blind for the weekend and something about questions? Surely we’re too old for such silly games. Aren’t we? My intuition doesn’t help my apprehension as my mind instantly conjures up the memory of the first and only time I tried to get out of a promise with Jeremy back in our university days. Strangely, in hindsight, I am vague on the details of the promise itself; however, the consequences were embarrassingly clear.

‘So, you are absolutely positive you are going to renege on our agreement?’ Jeremy asks incredulously as he towers above me. We are in the quad at uni, just outside the Great Hall. I nod. The next second, he hauls me over his shoulders, grabs my ankles and slides me down his back. I am left dangling upside down, looking out toward everyone behind me.

‘Put me down, you embarrassing bastard!’ I scream, flapping around, trying to haul myself up. ‘You can’t do this, it’s pure brutality. Put me down!’ I scream louder.

‘I can and I will, until you follow through on your promise.’

People are looking at me, laughing. Everyone knows we are best friends and are just mucking around. My T-shirt is down around my shoulders thanks to gravity and I quickly hold it up so I’m not giving everyone a free bra show. I try to bash him with one hand and hold my T-shirt with the other. Thank god I have jeans on. Jeremy starts walking off.

‘What are you doing? This is insane!’

It is difficult to project my voice as loudly as I’d hoped given I am bouncing along behind his legs, upside down. I am completely incensed. He casually chats to others as we proceed along the corridor as if there is nothing unusual about me being slung over his body. His friends have a little chuckle as he informs them he is just giving me a lift to my next lecture. If I could, I would really hurt him very badly right now. Blood is rushing to my head by the second, making me look like a ripe tomato.

We arrive at the lecture hall and he carefully lowers me down on to a seat in the front row. He acknowledges the Professor behind his lectern, as if everything is in perfect order. He bends down to where he has placed me, holding my hands together and says with a smile, ‘I’ll pick you up after the lecture.’

‘You can’t be serious.’ I almost spit the words at him.

‘Oh, indeed I am, Miss Alexandra.’

I give him my best death stare as I hear the Professor say, ‘Right, well, let’s get started, we have a lot to cover today.’

With that Jeremy plants a kiss on my cheek, releases my hands and waves goodbye. I am so deeply embarrassed that I sink as low as I can into the seat, not willing to make eye contact with anyone. As I move my feet, I notice my bag resting underneath the same seat I had been delivered to. Nothing like advance planning.