Emotions rule

‘Why don’t we eat a cake with hashish at least. I heard it’s not that strong as a joint. Just a new experience? And you don’t need to try it if you don’t want to, just come with us,’ Red-haired joined Tanya’s floor of persuasion.

‘Fine, fine, let’s go to a coffeeshop, otherwise, you’ll never leave me alone. I’ll come cuz I wanna see the place, watch you get stupid, and take pictures. But, only in the evening! First, we see the sights!’ Blondie agreed finally and performed a theatrical evil laugh anticipating interesting snaps.

Till seven p.m. the trio managed to see the Van Gogh paintings, Rembrandt House Museum, and take an Amstel River tour. Time for the coffeeshop!

Being pioneers in coffeeshops they were advised against space cakes stuffed with cannabis. To start with, they ordered just two pre-rolled joints which were a mixture of cannabis and tobacco. Katya ordered just water, which was damn expensive, and got comfortable to watch the ladies get high. The time was creeping very slowly now. Katya noticed the friends’ eyes get glossy and red. They started giggling.

‘Ok, you were right, nothing dangerous so far. Just silly giggling girls,’ commented Katya.

Tanya and Yulya looked at each other and started laughing even louder.

‘Still, I don’t regret not having tried it,’ Katya said aloud but seemed as if to herself, as the girls were covered in their laughter not paying much attention to her. The only thing she regretted was that they hadn’t had dinner first but headed to this place as she felt her stomach rumble with hunger.

Chapter 4

Arriving back to Berlin meant resuming the Berlin routine.

As usual, Katya woke up, shaved her legs and armpits, and washed with a cherry shower gel, the smell of which would remind her of Berlin for the rest of her life. Then she would walk up to Yulya to wake her up. To Tanya, she would come up two or three times, and sometimes she would even succeed in pulling her out of bed.

Days were passing. The three Russians and two Germans saw each other from time to time, having lots of laughter-giraffter.

Once, on a perfect July day, the girlies were invited to a picnic in Volkspark Wilmersdorf by their learning German internationals. What a grand event for them! Lots of jovial youngsters hanging out in a park, with food and drinks!

Everyone seemed to be under a happy spell. The sun was shining in their faces! Birds were chirping in the trees. Multiple trees were stretching out their green fluffy arms all over to offer a shadowy shelter. A blue clear endless dome was hanging above. What else can a soul desire? A hearty meal! And the ladies were hungry like hell as they hadn’t eaten the whole day.

As the bottles were opened, Katya emptied her first plastic cup of wine at a go. And she instantly felt herself somewhat high in the bright blue sky. Tuned to the sun’s energy Blondie seemed to be in her childish mood, annoying everyone like kids do. Having small-talked to every possible soul in their circle, Katya approached Fil. He was busy talking to Tanya. Was that an obstacle? Katya sat beside him and tickled his knee.

‘Stop it!’ came his reaction. What kid would stop after such a phrase? Apparently, that was exactly the motto for kids meaning Do it again! Thus, the hungry girl tickled him again and again, smiling, watching his reaction.

‘Hey! If you do it again, you’ll be in trouble!’ Mr. Curly Hair pronounced like some mafia boss warning his victim for the last and only time with playful malice. Soon Filip learnt that the silly kindergarten girl was in a playground mood that sunny afternoon. And his last words were understood as not only Do it again! but as green lights, the encouraging non-stop signal, meaning C’mon, tickle me to death, Katushka!

Thus, the silly-goose girl was obliged to tickle him again. In a second she knew not how she was lying on the grass on her back with Filip sitting atop her. It was not the happy look of under him at last, but the look, how the fuck did that happen?

The rest of the evening the two spent fighting with each other. You know, like puppies do bite each other when playing? After the picnic everyone was aware of Katya-and-Filip’s mutual non-indifference towards each other. No wonder everyone was asking if they were a couple. Funny enough, the two of them kept on denying it, even to themselves. And yes, they were grown-up people who behaved like… kids? More like overgrown kids…

The next morning Katya woke up with bruises all over her body. Definitely, something to remember Filip by. Was it their way of showing love to each other?

Chapter 5

This time it was Filip who invited them to have a meal at his Mum’s apartment. Filip’s Mum was away on holiday. So it was the perfect time to occupy her decent apartment on the top of the house, where there was a nice wooden terrace with a dining table and four chairs. Sven couldn’t make it that day. Was he to practice his headstand instead?

As they went to the place they bumped into a playground with a merry-go-round that looked like a big bowl that was fastened to the ground in the middle. While Tanya and Yulya decided not to be stupid, Katya, on the contrary, placed her bum down onto the bowl merry-go-round. Filip began to spin it.

The playground whirled faster and faster in Katya’s eyes. The whole world became a mess of various colours. As she started to feel dizzy, she yelled, ‘Enough! Stop!’

But that time she completely forgot that stop-phrase worked like encouragement for kids. So Mr. Curly Hair started to spin even faster… and there Katya flew! Was it dropping like a stone more like? Her bum landing on the ground. As Katya heard sorry, she briskly glanced at Filip. A pitiful look was readable on his face.

‘Never mind,’ Katya heard herself say, a cold angry look froze on her face. All of them resumed walking in silence; Katya shook off the dust from her skirt and observed the scratches on her elbow.

What a lovely apartment Filip’s Mum had! Having understood from the previous time that girls were not really inclined to choose their music, Mr. Curly Hair took the liberty of turning on funk.

Everyone agreed on a vegetable stew, and Tanya volunteered to cook the dinner. Too many cooks would spoil the broth, so Fringe commanded not to disturb her. Katya set the table on the terrace and soon joined Filip and Yulya watching his childhood pictures. Soon one could make out the smell of heated olive oil, frying onion, eggplant, and pepper. A carrot too perhaps, if fried carrots do have a particular smell.

As they all sat to the table, they pretended to eat like high-class society – speaking on social themes, weather, and so on. They praised Tanya’s culinary masterpiece. But their performance didn’t last long, as they switched to reminiscing funny stories from their school times, forgetting about the knives, waving their forks in a cloud of agitated laughter.

Perhaps all of them would remember Filip’s hilarious but remorseful story of catching a guy from a lower grade and sliding a mop into both of his sleeves. The guy was not able to put down his arms but was to walk like the red, little traffic light man, the symbol of Berlin, with his arms outstretched.

Tanya might even keep the memory of the taste of the red wine and funk music playing in the background with sudden beeping sounds coming from the cars below. Perhaps Yulya would remember multiple city roofs and the night sky. Katya – Filip’s smile and the fresh summer night air.

Or maybe they would remember all of it?

How could Yulya be moody at such a pleasant night? No one noticed when her mood had changed. She kept herself quiet staring nowhere in particular; a melancholic air was readable on her freckled face.

‘I’m going home. Thanks for the eve, Fil. I’ll see you tomorrow, girls,’ Red-haired reported and took her dirty plate to the kitchen’s sink.

‘Why so early? Stay! We’ll sleep here, no need to go home!’ Filip had to yell at Yulya’s back, his forehead instantly covered with wrinkles.

‘Leave her, Fil. I know this girl. If Yulya wants to be alone, let it be so,’ warned him Katya.

When Yulya left, Filip brought out a bright rug and placed it on the wooden floor, and lay atop. The girls understood it as a welcoming gesture. In an instant, three weirdos lay on a small rug on the roof watching stars, if any could be seen from a big city lit with hundreds of lights.

Before leaving Yulya thought she would want to return in the morning and be a lovely surprise to everyone bringing something to eat for breakfast. So she left the door slightly open by putting Katya’s flat-shoe in the doorway, so the door wouldn’t lock.

On stepping outside, Red-haired dived into the street world. Brightly lit pictures everywhere. Sparkling windows. People in cafes and bars gulping their beers. The city noise was like an orchestra as if rehearsing before a performance tuning their instruments. Glasses clinked. The jolly chatting buzzed. Passing cars whistled. Yulya could also make out a mixture of different smells. Perfume. Pizza. Drinks. Exhaust fumes.

‘Excuse me,’ a young chap sitting on a cafe terrace addressed Yulya loudly, ‘Can I take a picture of you? You know, you don’t often see high-heels around here.’

‘Go ahead,’ Red-haired responded and struck a pose.

As the chap got up to take a picture he spoke again, ‘I’ll show the pic to my girlfriend to let her know what drives me on.’

He took a shot and said, ‘Thanks. Have a good evening!’

‘Oh, bear in mind high-heels aren’t very comfortable,’ added Yulya.

‘How do you wear them then?’ he wondered.

‘I’m used to them. I’ve been wearing heels since fourteen. I didn’t like being short, so the heels helped me out really. Well, have a good eve!’ Red-haired answered with a pleasant smile and walked on.

She remembered how she used to change her high-heels for trainers to go for a walk with her ex after school. With thoughts of her ex-boyfriend, she came home to wash off the day that was coming to an end.

In bed. Lights still on. Again Yulya thought of Dima, her first and only boyfriend. Was she missing him? Or was she just feeling lonely and wanted to cuddle up against any male flesh? Suddenly Red-haired felt irritation towards him. Irritation that, even though it was SHE who had broken up with him, he wasn’t with her now. Irritation that he hadn’t written her or called her, even though she’d told him not to bother her for some time. Irritation that he hadn’t come up with some strategy to win her back, even though she’d told him their relationship wasn’t going anywhere but standing on one and the same spot. Realizing this she finally shaped her conclusion into a clear thought, ‘If he doesn’t need me anymore, then this is the end of our story. Good riddance. I’m officially free then.’

Yulya tossed in her bed drowning in her overemotional state. She jumped out of bed. In semi-darkness, she fished out a ciggie and a lighter from her purse and landed on the windowsill. Lit a ciggie, puffed at it twice and for the first time, she was feeling a real relief smoking. She was really enjoying it. She took a long drag feeling the smoke in her lungs and with it her worries. She became aware of the tension knot inside her, she imagined it untie and exhaled it together with the smoke. As Red-haired finished her smoke, she felt serene and sleepy. Now she had no problems falling asleep.

Meanwhile, Mr. Curly Hair and the two Russian girlies decided to turn in. Three of them perfectly fit in Filip’s Mum’s bed yawning and telling night-night to each other. Filip in the middle of the two Russians. What a lucky man he was, wasn’t he? A dilemma for him? He was magnetized to Katya, but he couldn’t make out her real feelings towards him. There was some invisible obstacle between them. At the same time, like any man, he was attracted to Tanya’s curves. While Filip brooded on his dilemma, Tanya was already asleep as her quiet snoring was filling the room.

Some other thoughts whirled in Katya’s head, ‘Damn, I can’t bring myself to embrace him or just take his hand. Stupid, stupid me…’ She struggled for a moment, and miraculously simultaneously their sweaty hands magnetized to each other with great tension. Fingers between fingers. The heat was rising up between their hands, but stupidly enough they never dared go further than that. What unhealthy suppression of emotions, wasn’t it?