Kids by Christmas

He stood stiff in her embrace, but when she let him go she saw some of the tension leave his body. “I’m sorry,” he whispered again. Then, “Can I use your bathroom?”

“Of course you can.” The minute he’d left the room, she turned to his older sister. “Why was he so frightened? Mrs. Burton doesn’t, uh…”

Sophia shook her head. “She gets grumpy, but that’s all. It was the other foster mom, the first one we had. She yelled a lot and spanked Jack when he made mistakes.”

“What an awful woman!” Suzanne said with indignation. “Did you tell the social worker who supervised you?”

“After we went to Mrs. Burton’s.”

Suzanne smiled at her. “Good for you.”

Hands full of wads of soggy paper towels, Sophia said, “The quilt thing on the table is wet, too.”

“I can throw it in the washer.” Suzanne bundled it up. “Oh, shoot! I hear a car. I bet it’s Mrs. Burton.”

She put the table runner in the sink and went to the front window just as the kids’ foster mom beeped her horn.

Jack came from the bathroom, head hanging again, somehow appearing smaller than he had when he’d been excited and happy. Suzanne ignored the burning at the back of her eyes and smiled at him and then his sister.

“Shall we go shopping next weekend? Start looking for things for your bedrooms?”

“Yeah!” Sophia said.

“If it’s okay with Mrs. Burton and Ms. Stuart, we’ll plan on Saturday.” She could take a whole two days off. Rose would be glad for the hours.

“Wow! Okay. Bye.”

They raced out and tumbled into the back of Mrs. Burton’s car. Suzanne followed and spoke briefly with their foster mother, who thought Saturday would be great.

Suzanne stood in the driveway and waved as the car backed out. She didn’t want them to go, but she also realized she felt a little shaky. She’d been so nervous about what they’d think, whether they’d like her, she’d been operating on adrenaline.

The car disappeared down the street, and she sighed, giving herself a little shake.

“How’d it go?” a voice asked from so close, she jumped.

Tom, of course. He’d approached as soundlessly as always.

“Oh! You startled me.” She pressed a hand to her chest.

His forehead creased. “I’m sorry. I came out my front door. I assumed you saw me.”

“No, I was too busy trying to decide if the visit went well. I think it did.”

“You think?”

“Well, they seemed to like the house. But Jack freaked when he accidentally knocked over his milk. Sophia told me their foster mom spanked him when he made any messes.”

The lines in his face deepened. “That poor kid.”

“It worried me a little.” She didn’t know why she was confiding in him, but the words just kept coming. “I realized how many issues they probably have. Did I tell you their mom had MS? As her health deteriorated, they moved from shelters to cheap hotels where she could rent a room by the week. Sophia did the grocery shopping. I guess the mom must have gotten a disability check or something. But it sounds really grim.”

“And they watched her die slowly.”

She nodded. “After their mom got really sick, Jack started wetting his bed, and Sophia… She acts as if she doesn’t care, but she must. She says she hates the school she’s going to and doesn’t have any friends, and apparently Jack gets bullied. And I’m coward enough to think What do I know about traumatized children? What if I foul up?”

“You won’t,” he said with a certainty that surprised her. “If I’ve ever seen anyone meant to be a mother, it’s you. Anyway, if they need counseling, you can get them that, too.”

She drew a deep, ragged breath. “I can, can’t I? I don’t know if I’m meant to be a mother, but I want to be one. Wow. I really panicked. Look at me! I’m shaking.” She held out her hands, which indeed had a tremor.

He smiled at her, that amazingly kind smile transforming his blunt-featured face to one that was almost handsome. “You panicked because suddenly your fantasy kids are real, with real problems.”

Another deep breath, this one filling her lungs. “You’re right. That is why, isn’t it?” She gave a little laugh. “You aren’t a parent, either. How did you get so wise?”

“Guess I was born that way.” This grin was more mischievous. “So, when will you see them again?”

“Saturday. We’re going shopping. We’ll start with bedding and then look at paint, and I’m hoping to have time to hit a couple of thrift stores, too. They’ll both need dressers and desks.”

He nodded. “Let me know what I can do. Anything at all. Just ask.”

She gazed at him in amazement. “Thank you. Really. Thank you.”

He smiled again, and crossed their strip of lawn, disappearing a moment later into his house.

Still not having moved, Suzanne stared after him. Now she felt teary because he’d been so understanding and so nice. She’d known him for over five years, and had never known a thing about him except that he was obsessively tidy.

But today, she’d learned all kinds of things. And one, she thought in astonishment, was the color of his eyes. They were gray, with tiny flecks of green.

She’d looked into his eyes, without even realizing she’d broken years of habit.

Was it possible they could actually become friends?

Suzanne shook her head again in bemusement. Who’d have thought?

CHAPTER FOUR

SUZANNE WAS AT WORK on Wednesday when Melissa Stuart called again.

“Suzanne,” she said without preamble, “I’m afraid we have a problem.”

The tone, a little cool, was one Suzanne hadn’t heard from her before. Her heart seemed to skip a beat, then gave an uncomfortable bump in her chest. “A problem?”

“I got to looking through your file and discovered that the background check was never completed. Unfortunately, when I ran one it turned up something you didn’t warn us about. There were apparently two domestic-disturbance calls made to your address during the time when you were listed as owner.”

Feeling a little sick, Suzanne turned her back on the one customer browsing the bins of yarn. “No charges were filed,” she said, hating the way her voice shook. “My ex-husband and I were on the verge of divorce.”

“Can I assume there was violence in your home?”

“No!” she protested. “No. Not the way you mean. We…” She took a breath. “He threw things. Once he punched a hole in the wall. His anger was one of the reasons for the divorce.”