Just Peachy

“What’ll we have? Who wants what?”

“Poppadoms, anyone? Who’s for poppadoms?”

And then they all started shouting at once.

“Chicken tikka!”

“Prawn masala!”

“Lamb biryani!”

Raj, who was used to us, stood calmly in the midst of it all writing things down.

“Everyone ordered?” said Mum brightly.

“Yes, yes.” Dad, impatient, gathered up the menus. “Don’t forget the bubbly!”

It was Raj who noticed I hadn’t ordered anything.

“And for the young lady?” he said.

“Young lady?” said Mum. “Which young lady?”

“Just Peachy,” said Coop.

“What? She hasn’t ordered?”

I’m not absolutely positive, but I think Raj may have winked at me. Sort of like showing sympathy. My family!

“So what are you going to have?” said Mum. “If you had the chicken korma, we could mix and match.”

“Yes, all right,” I said.

“You’re sure?”

I nodded. Raj stood gravely, his pen poised.

“She’ll have the chicken korma,” said Mum. “Honestly, darling, you really must learn to speak up!”

“Like on stage,” said Flora. “If you don’t SPEAK UP – ” her voice rose to a shriek – “no one’ll be able to hear you.”

“Well, they’ll certainly be able to hear you, all right,” said Mum.

Flora gave this little complacent smirk. “That’s why Miss Marshall chose us, cos we have these really BIG voices. There’s this one girl in our class – Alisha Briggs? She really fancies herself, she thinks she’s going to get to play the lead, but she won’t cos she has this silly little squeaky voice like an ant. Squeaky squeaky!”

“Ants don’t squeak,” I said.

“They do so,” said Flora. “You just can’t hear them. Like you can’t hear Alisha. Plus she can’t even sing in tune. She goes like this: doh, re, mi-i-i-…”

Flora’s voice rose, shrill and quavery. One of the ladies at the next table placed a hand over her ear.

“I’m going to be singing,” said Charlie. “Coop’s already written one of my songs for me. Haven’t you?”

“Right,” said Coop. “Wanna give them a taste of it?”

Charlie never needs a second invitation. To be fair she does actually have a good voice. Very high and silvery. Not always quite in tune, but who cares?

“Lovely, lovely!” cried Mum, when we’d listened to three full verses plus the chorus. Everyone clapped, madly. Dad even shouted, “Bravo!” I was a bit embarrassed so I just tapped my hands together without making any sound, but some people in the restaurant actually turned in their seats and joined in. Even the lady at the next table, the one who’d put her hand over her ear.

I’m always surprised that people don’t get angry and ask us to be quiet, but they never seem to. I suspect it’s cos of Dad being on the radio, and sometimes on TV, which makes him a sort of mini celeb. Celebs can get away with anything. I bet if ordinary people were to start singing and shouting and making a noise, Raj would say something quickly enough, but he was smiling happily as he brought the champagne. Of course, Dad spends a lot of money in his restaurant. I expect that helps.

“Someone’s birthday?” said Raj, as he popped the cork.

“Celebration,” said Dad. “Double whammy.”

Mum explained about Charlie and Coop and the twins.

“All reaching for the stars!”

This time, Raj really did wink at me. It gave me this little glow of happiness. It made me feel that he was on my side. Everybody, but everybody, loves Mum and Dad, cos they are funny and warm and they make people laugh. But maybe Raj understood how it was, being me. Just Peachy, the mouse in the middle.

“Righty-o!” Dad raised his glass. “Let us have a toast… the McBrides!”

When we’d toasted the whole family together we toasted Charlie and Coop, and after that we toasted the twins. And then Mum said, “To Peachy!” and they all drank a toast to me. And then the food came and everyone immediately fell on it in a kind of mad feeding frenzy, like in those wildlife films where they show bunches of jackals tearing some poor dead thing to shreds. You have to eat really, really fast if you want to keep up. Sometimes I manage it OK, but sometimes I am a bit slow. What made me slow that particular evening was worrying about how and when I was going to break my earth-shattering news to Mum and Dad and how they were going to react. They were not going to be happy.

“Peachy,” said Mum, “stop messing your food about.”

“What’s the matter?” said Dad. “Don’t you want it?” He leaned across and dug his fork into a piece of chicken. The very piece I’d been about to dig my fork into.

“Oh, well, if she’s not going to eat it,” said Mum, and she leaned across and dug her fork in too.

“Really,” said Dad, “I don’t know why you order things if you don’t like them.”

“If you’d have preferred something else,” said Mum, “you only had to say.”

“No need to be scared.” Dad helped himself to more chicken. “Just sing right out!”

“She can’t sing,” said Flora.

I said, “I can so! Shows how much you know.”

Complacently, chewing chicken, Dad said, “All the McBrides can sing. Even Peachy.”

Tomorrow I would definitely tell them.

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Usually on a Sunday morning I stay curled up under the duvet for as long as I possibly can. All the family does, except for Mum. Mum is always the first up. She says she likes to have the house to herself for half an hour before the rest of us appear and start banging and clattering.