Penguin Pandemonium - Christmas Crackers

Blue gave a small sigh. “Oh. I really hoped it was You Know Who, didn’t you, Rory?” she whispered.

Rory nodded. “Yeah. Oh well, maybe Santa will come next year.”

Big Paulie shook his beak and frowned. “Don’t get your hopes up, my little friend. Santa never visits the likes of us.”

Muriel pulled a face and stamped her foot in the snow. “Why not? I want a Christmas present!” she sulked.

Big Paulie held out his flippers and did his best to explain. “Muriel, the giving of gifts is a human tradition. Every Christmas, Santa comes all the way from the North Pole to visit City Zoo to give out presents, but they’re just for the children, not the animals.”

“That is tho mean, Unky Pooey!” squealed Oo-Chi, tweaking her uncle’s head feathers.

“Unky Pooey, why doethn’t Thanta like penguinth?” wailed Ku-Chi. “Why-why-why?”

Big Paulie counted patiently to ten and put the chicks down. “I don’t make the Christmas rules—Ouch!”

“Ha ha! Got you in the botty with a thnowball!” shrieked Oo-Chi.

Trying to keep his dignity, Paulie shook one leg, then the other, to shake the ice off his tail, and almost slipped. Rory grabbed him by the flippers to steady him.

“I’m fine,” insisted Paulie. “Just practising the snow dance Orson taught me.”

“I recognised it straight away,” said Rory, trying not to laugh. “Paulie, can I ask you something?”

The emperor penguin regained his balance. “As long as it’s not personal. I’m a very private penguin. Whaddya want to know?”

“It’s about Santa,” said Rory.

Paulie let out a long groan. “Santa again already?”

Paulie clearly wasn’t in the best of moods and Rory was just beginning to think that maybe he should stop asking questions, when Blue butted in.

“We just want to know why we’ve never seen Santa’s Grotto before if he comes here every year,” she blurted. “Don’t we, Rory?”

Paulie waved a dismissive flipper. “It’s usually over by the reindeer paddock,” he said, whisking round as one of the chicks crept up behind him. “No! Don’t do you dare throw that snowball at me, Ku-Chi—Ow! That’s it! I’m taking you back to your mother!”

He grabbed the chicks and turned to go, when Muriel kicked off again.

“It’s not fair! We want presents, don’t we, Hatty and Brenda?”

“We want bobble hats!” said Brenda.

“We want hamsters!” said Hatty.

Even Rory got caught up in the excitement. He only wanted a small gift, but to a penguin who lived to do stunts, it would be a dream come true.

“And I’d really like a set of sparkly wheels for my skateboard!” he whooped.

Paulie looked over his shoulder and fixed him with his beady eyes. “We’re penguins,” he said as he waddled away, “and penguins do not celebrate Christmas.”

“We’ll see about that!” muttered Muriel.

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espite the fact that penguins weren’t supposed to celebrate Christmas, they were very excited when Santa arrived at City Zoo in his sleigh. He had a sack full of presents in the back and the brown bears were certain he might have brought a little something for them.

“He’s here!” hollered Ursie. “Let’s show him our stockings – we might be in luck.”

“I don’t wear stockings,” growled Orson. “Keep your voice down.”

The penguins rushed over to the grille.

“Look at the reindeer,” remarked Clive.

“Rain, dear?” repeated Eddie. “I thought it was snow. Ursie, can I borrow your brolly?”

There was a long queue of children leading up to the grotto and, as Santa parked himself in a rocking chair, the first little girl went over and sat on his lap.

“And what would you like for Christmas, young lady?” he asked.

“A giraffe, please.”

Santa gave a small groan, fished about in his sack and gave her a thin, square parcel.

“It looks a bit flat for a giraffe, doesn’t it, Clive?” mumbled Eddie.

“That’s because it’s a colouring book,” said Clive, who was more interested in the elves. “Who are those little green dudes in the funny hats and curly shoes?”

Brenda looked it up in her leaflet about Christmas at City Zoo.

“They’re Santa’s little—”

“Aliens!” shouted Orson.

“Helpers!” said Brenda.

Ursie was confused.

“Santa’s little alien helpers? That’s just weird.”

“That’s Christmas for you,” said Orson.

But while everyone else was getting into the festive spirit, Muriel was getting angrier by the minute.

“Oh my cod!” she wailed. “Why is he giving those naughty kids presents and not us? Brenda, get a pencil and write a letter to Santa for me! OK, I want: bubble bath, leg warmers, pink fluffy mules …”

“Eek – got no pencil!” said Brenda anxiously.

“Um – got no paper,” said Hatty.