She sighed. Technically, she could date. She was past the prescribed time of no dating after making her commitment to sobriety but somehow keeping her distance seemed so much safer for everyone involved. No entanglements. No conflicts. No…sex.
That’s where the pacing came in. Renee stopped and rubbed her palms down her jeans to wipe away the sudden clammy feeling. Sex. She missed it. Needed it. God, craved it.
But not with John Murphy.
Anyone but him. Why not, a voice whispered in her head and she nearly barked in laughter. Why? Because that man would likely brand her soul if he so much as touched her in a sexual manner. If they breached that intimate barrier there’d be nothing stopping her from falling headlong in love with him. Was that a bad thing? Yes! She didn’t want to love John Murphy. She wanted to leave Emmett’s Mill and put this whole awful chapter of her life behind her. She wanted to start a new life with the girls somewhere else. Was that so much to ask?
Her hormones seemed to think so because even as she berated herself for shooting periodic looks of intense longing toward John’s house, she couldn’t stop wondering what it might feel like to sample just one taste of that firm, sexy mouth.
Climbing into bed, she closed her eyes with an unhappy frown and tried to ignore the twisting tendril of achy tension that taunted her lady bits without mercy, reminding her that no matter how hard she may try, her curiosity was not fading but simply becoming stronger.
Well, she knew what curiosity did for the cat. She just needed to keep that reminder front and center in her mind when she started to feel her defenses drop around that man. That way her panties wouldn’t drop, as well.
Chapter Ten
JOHN AWOKE EARLY AND, BEFORE anyone else on the ranch was up and around, made a trip to town.
Gladys needed a few things from the grocery store and the girls needed a laundry list of school supplies. But really, as he drove, it wasn’t his list that preoccupied his thoughts.
It was Renee. Sleep didn’t come easy and when he finally did succumb to a fitful state of drowsing, Renee filled his dreamscape in a variety of different states of undress. Really, that was plain ridiculous. He hadn’t been so preoccupied with a woman since…well, it was in high school, he knew that much.
Needing a change in scenery, he went straight to the sheriff station to talk with Sheriff Casey about something that was gnawing at him more so than Renee.
Pushing open the double doors, he greeted Nancy with a nod. “The sheriff in?”
“She is. May I ask who…oh, wait a minute, you’re John Murphy, aren’t you?”
John nodded. “Guilty.”
“How are those girls you inherited?”
“Doing good as to be expected I suspect, given their circumstances. Ranch life seems to agree with them, Taylor especially. She loves the horses.”
“Bless their hearts,” Nancy exclaimed then shook her head with a tsking motion. “It’s so good of you to take them in with their mother being a fruit loop and all. With a temper no less.”
“Renee’s not a bad person. You just didn’t see her at her best.”
“I’m not saying anything to the contrary, but she did seem a bit unstable if you ask me.”
John resisted the urge to comment further realizing that the receptionist was an avid gossiper and just looking for fresh fodder. Well, she’d have to get it elsewhere.
Nancy seemed to recognize her well of information had just dried up and buzzed him through to the other side. He went straight to Sheriff Casey’s office.
Pauline Casey, a friend of John’s since high school, smiled when she saw it was him.
“I see you made it past Nancy. What brings you into town? I know you hate to leave that ranch of yours. Oh, by the way, you worked a miracle with Tabasco. We were afraid we were going to have to put him down until you got your hands on him. Now he’s a wonderful horse. You’ve earned that reputation of yours.”
John didn’t roll his eyes but wanted to. Somehow he’d been dubbed the Horse Whisperer of Mariposa County and he was pretty sure Evan had something to do with it. “Glad to hear he’s doing better. Can I talk to you about something?”
Suddenly all business, Pauline nodded. “Sure. What’s wrong? Something with the girls?”
“In a way. I’ve been thinking about the father. What happens if he shows up wanting to take the girls away? Can he do that?”
Pauline’s stare hardened. “No way in hell that’s going to happen. We have an I&B out for his arrest on charges of child neglect, and cruelty to a minor.”
“What about the arsenic? Can’t you slap him with attempted murder?”
“Hard to prove. A defense attorney could just say that Chloe, being as young as she is, could’ve accidentally ingested the stuff when he wasn’t around.”
“We have the girls’ testimony that he made Chloe eat eggs that he made for her special. Isn’t that enough?”
“I wish it were. Damn, I wish it were. Trust me, I want to get this guy as much as you but we have to have something that will stick or it will hurt the case against him, which could land those girls back in his custody on a technicality.”
John felt himself pale but he managed to grit out, “Not on my life. Those girls aren’t going anywhere near that bastard. He tried to kill Chloe. You and I both know it.”
Pauline nodded. “I hear you, John, and believe you, but we have to do things the right way or else it could backfire and screw everything up. But before you get yourself all worked up, it’s likely the girls would end up in protective custody before they’d land back in his hands, at least at first. You know family reintegration is a top priority if the parent can be rehabilitated.”
His mouth curled in disgust. “The only thing that would rehab that son of a bitch is a bullet to the brain.”
“Careful now,” Pauline warned. “Talking like that can get you in trouble. But don’t worry, they’re not going anywhere just yet so let’s cross that bridge when we come to it.”
He supposed she was right but it made his gut curdle at the thought of letting that man even a hundred yards within the girls and damn, if that didn’t make his trigger finger itchy.
Pauline deftly changed the subject. “How are things going with the mother? She any trouble?”
Distracted, he waved away Pauline’s question. “She’s not a problem. Not yet, anyway,” he grumbled, his thoughts still sour.
“I’m surprised I haven’t had a call from you saying she’s tried to up and steal them in the middle of the night. She seemed the type to grab and run.”
Pauline’s offhand comment startled him. He’d never thought of that. Suddenly, he felt uneasy. Would she do that? He didn’t know her at all and Alexis clearly didn’t trust her. Perhaps he’d been too quick to let her move in. And what if he’d kissed her? What a royal idiot he was. She could be playing him for all he knew. It wasn’t like she was trustworthy. She was an addict for crying out loud. She was probably a pro at lying to get what she wanted. He realized Pauline was watching him closely and he gave her a short nod as if in thanks. “I’ll keep an eye on her,” he said. “Who knows what she’s capable of.”
“Smart thinking.”
Pauline seemed ready to play the amiable devil’s advocate as she added, “Then again, she got off to a bad start here but maybe, deep down, she’s a good person and if she’s given half a chance, she could be a good mother again. Who knows. Stranger things have happened. Remember that time Fudder found that two-headed snake down by Hatcher Creek? Creepy little thing. The snake, not Fudder,” she said with a small chuckle. “Anyway, hopefully things will work out for everyone involved. This is an unusual case.”
Yeah, you could say that again.
Pauline offered a wise smile and John realized there was a wealth of unsaid knowledge behind that subtle twist of the lips. “What?” he asked, eyeing her suspiciously.
“Nothing.”
“Nothing my ass. What’s with that look you just gave me?”
She leaned forward, her gaze intent. “Have you considered what it’s going to be like when your chicks fly the roost? Their mom is going to regain custody eventually.”
“I know,” he admitted with a slight scowl. “That’s good. My life can get back to normal.”
“True. But what if normal to you now is what you want normal to be forever?”