The Texas Ranger's Daughter

“Laurie?” His voice had lost the easy confidence of a moment ago as uncertainty crept in.

If she could have sunk to the canyon floor and died she surely would have. Had they not been on horseback, she was certain that he would have taken her, just as she deserved, on the ground, like an animal.

As she fumbled with her camisole and fastened the rivets of the hated trousers, the tears came.

“You’ve shamed me.” Her head hung as she tugged at the shirt, still unable to completely button it.

“Shamed?”

How dare he sound surprised? She wanted to slap him; instead she dashed away the tears coursing down her cheeks.

“I just tried to, well, I thought you wanted to.”

Laurie held both hands over her mouth, feeling dizzy and sick.

“I don’t understand this.” Her voice had that high wavering quality that told her she was perilously close to sobbing.

“Just trying to bring you ease.”

The casualness of his reply shocked her speechless.

“Thought it might take your mind off your troubles for a little while.”

“No! You’ve only added to them. Oh,” she cried, “but I didn’t even try to stop you.”

“You’re human.”

“My display was disgraceful!”

“Beautiful,” he whispered.

She paused trying to decide if he was mocking her but could not tell.

“Women got needs, too, you know.”

“Needs? No. A lady most certainly does not have needs.”

He gave a snort. “Well, you could be right about that, ‘cause I never been with a lady before.” He leaned close and nibbled the shell of her ear. “But I like it.”

She slapped at him. “Stop that. Don’t touch me.”

“That’d be some trick, riding double. Guess I’ll touch you if I like.”

Laurie hung her head. She was a fraud and a fake, just as she’d feared. She wasn’t fit for decent society. No wonder she’d failed to attract a decent man. How could she convince a respectable gentleman that she would make him a proper wife if she allowed herself to be treated in such a low manner?

Sweet lord, even an outlaw could tell the difference. She was no lady. Had not been since … No, she would not think on that. Only two people on earth knew and she’d never tell. She had spent the past years trying to pretend that episode had never happened. Did her father know? Was that why he had left them?

All this time she had tried so hard to convince herself that her troubles were behind her and that, if she could only convince her parents to reconcile, if they would end this separation and remarry, then she could set aside the stigma of divorce. She’d nearly convinced herself that it was their actions, not hers, that kept her from a decent match. But in her heart she knew the truth. No decent man would have her because she was ruined.

The trouble was not her parents’ divorce, but the flaw that she could not hide. What if every man who looked at her could already tell what had happened to her?

Laurie felt cold that cut bone deep as she admitted to herself that the problem all along had been herself. She wouldn’t let a man near her and that was a fact.

She closed her eyes and prayed. Please, God, forgive me my trespasses. Don’t let me fall for an outlaw and live a wicked life. Please let me wake up and find this is all just a nightmare.

Hot tears splashed down her cheeks.

Nothing had changed and somehow this outlaw had seen right through her and into her wanton heart. The past four years had been nothing but a lie.

Laurie opened her eyes and noticed the ghostly pale landscape, made visible by the slip of a moon, nearly in its quarter, rising silver above the canyon rim. She could no longer see the stars. Laurie stiffened at the significance. If she could see about them, the outlaws could, as well.

“Can you sit a horse solo?” he asked.

“Ladies don’t ride astride.” She scrubbed her hands over her face, wiping away the tears with the grit.

The truth was her father had taught her when she was a girl. She had loved the freedom of galloping over the countryside. But that was before she understood how unseemly such behavior was. Ladies did not ride; they sat in carriages. But riding meant escape from Hammer and it meant distance from Boon. She needed that more than she needed to protect her crumpled dignity. Besides, he’d already discovered what kind of a woman she really was.

“Is that a no?”

She shook her head, sending her lopsided bun further into decline.

Boon reined in. He dismounted then clasped her waist and pulled her down, his big hands sliding under her shirt and against the barrier of her corset. He set her on her feet but did not let go.

“You know better than to try and run?”

She kept her head lowered, unable to bear meeting his eyes after what they had done together. But she could not control the trembling and he noted it.

“Laurie?” His voice held a new caution.

He clasped her chin in his hand and lifted. She kept her eyes downcast, as another tear rolled down her face.

His voice filled with incredulity. “You crying?”

“No.”

“Because of what we done?”

“No, I said!” Laurie pressed her lips together and glared, daring him to call her a liar, even with the evidence right there on her cheek.

He released her, stepping back and resting his hands on his hips just above his guns. She wondered what he had expected her to do, thank him?

Suddenly the shame boiled up, like scalding milk topping the pot and pouring over the sides. She seethed with fury, not for his touching her but for his so easily discovering that he could touch her.

“How did you know?” she demanded, her words as hot as her tears.

He tucked his chin and looked uneasy. “What?”

“How could you tell just by looking?” Her words were a shouted whisper, hoarse and feral.