Mr. Right All Along

Eve had been at Dalverston General for almost two months now yet she hadn’t made any attempt to join in the usual extramural staff activities. Invitations to curry nights and cinema trips had been politely refused without any reason being given. She had earned herself a reputation for being a bit of a snob, in fact, although Ryan didn’t believe that. Maybe Eve did come from a very wealthy background but he had known her before and there had been nothing snobby about Eve Pascoe then, he recalled, and wondered why the thought disturbed him so much. He might be intrigued to find out what had happened to her, but it was friendly curiosity, that was all. He certainly wasn’t romantically interested in her.

Eve suddenly looked up and Ryan smoothed his face into a noncommittal expression. He didn’t do romance, didn’t do commitment, didn’t do anything that might cause anyone any grief. Love and all its attendant problems weren’t on his agenda now or ever.

‘I heard you singing,’ he said, returning to what had brought him into the room. He grinned when she blushed. ‘It was, well … different, shall I say.’

‘Daisy’s mother said it was her favourite nursery rhyme,’ Eve replied defensively, standing up.

She bent over the bed where five-year-old Daisy Martin was lying curled up into a tight little ball and Ryan got another shock when he saw her smile at the child. She looked so like the old Eve when she smiled like that, happy and warm and caring. It made the change in her all the more marked so that his interest was piqued even more. He realised that he wouldn’t rest until he had found out what had happened to bring about such a massive change in her.

‘I’ll come back to see you later, sweetheart. Close your eyes and have a little sleep now. There’s a good girl.’ She gently smoothed back the child’s thick black curls then headed to the door, pausing when Ryan failed to move out of her way.

‘Sorry.’

He stepped aside, automatically following her along the corridor although he had been heading to the canteen before he’d got sidetracked. Still, lunch could wait. He was more interested in finding out what had happened to Eve in the past few years, although he wasn’t vain enough to think she would simply come out and tell him. Eve preferred to keep her own counsel these days and she would be as unlikely to open her heart to him as to anyone else.

The thought stung just a little and far more than it should have done. Although they’d been friends—good friends too—they’d not had a relationship; Ryan had made sure of that. Oh, there’d been that one occasion after he had kissed her under the mistletoe when he had almost caved in but he had realised in time what a mistake it would be.

Although Eve was extremely pretty with that long red-gold hair and those wonderful grey-green eyes, she was very different from the women he normally dated. He preferred women who were more worldly wise, women, like him, who weren’t looking for commitment, and Eve hadn’t fitted that bill. Even though she had ticked so many other boxes, he had never tried to turn their friendship into something more, especially after that kiss. He had realised that night how easy it would be to get involved with her and it had been the last thing he’d wanted.

It had been a relief, in fact, when she’d started seeing one of the registrars a short time later because it had stopped him fantasising about what might have been. Eve wasn’t for him but even though he’d known that, it had been harder than he’d expected to get her out of his head after that kiss. However, once Damien Blackwell had appeared on the scene, everything had changed. Eve’s time had been taken up by Damien and she’d stopped spending so much time with him and their friends.

Ryan had told himself he was glad that she was happy, and he had been too even though he had missed her. Their friendship had meant a lot to him so he’d been stunned when he had heard that she had dropped out of the training programme. Eve hadn’t told him what she was planning; one day she’d been there and the next she’d gone and that was the last he’d seen of her. Although he had often wondered why she had given up, he hadn’t tried to find her. He’d been wary of doing that, of getting involved. He had nothing to offer Eve so he had told himself that it was her decision and that was the end of the matter.

Now, however, Ryan couldn’t help wondering if it was Damien who was responsible for the change in her, Damien who had taken away her sparkle, her warmth, her humour and turned her into the distant young woman she was today. He sensed it was true and a rare rush of anger swept through him. He couldn’t bear to think that Eve’s life had been blighted by the other man. It made his own decision not to get involved all the more valid. He didn’t intend to be responsible for ruining some poor woman’s life!

Eve brought up Daisy Martin’s file on the computer. The little girl had sickle cell anaemia, an inherited blood disease. Daisy’s red blood cells were abnormal resulting in a chronic and very severe form of anaemia. The youngest of three children born to Jamaican parents, Daisy was the only one to have inherited the condition. It had first presented itself when she’d been a baby, causing fatigue, headaches, shortness of breath and jaundice. Although Daisy had been fairly well for some time, she had recently suffered a crisis and had been admitted to HDPU as she required careful nursing. She was such a lovely child too, Eve thought sadly as she started to write up her notes. It didn’t seem fair that she should suffer this way.

She typed in the time and the date, doing her best to ignore Ryan. She always felt uneasy around him, always on her guard, always wary in case she slipped up. After all, Ryan had known her in the old days, pre-Damien, and she was very aware that he must have noticed how much she had changed.

She sighed, recalling her shock when she’d discovered that Ryan was working at Dalverston General. She had applied for the post specifically because she’d thought she would be unlikely to meet up with anyone she had known in the past. Her peers had moved on to bigger and better things and, like Ryan, were part way up the professional ladder now.

Dropping out had set her back and she had a lot of ground to make up. She didn’t need the added stress of having to explain why she had given up her studies. She had explained it all to Roger Hopkins, the hospital’s manager, when she had been for her interview, and that had been difficult enough.

Thankfully, it was only Ryan who knew what she had done and although people might wonder why she was still an F1 at her age, it was doubtful if they would ask, especially when she made a point of keeping them at arm’s length. If anyone questioned her, it would be Ryan so she had to be especially careful around him. Maybe they had been good friends but she didn’t want to admit to him what a fool she’d been and had no intention whatsoever of letting him know how ashamed she felt. She would feel even more humiliated if Ryan found out the truth.

‘Daisy’s definitely improving, isn’t she?’

Ryan sat down on the edge of the desk and Eve flinched. She couldn’t help it. Although she had learned to deal with her fear of physical contact with regard to her patients, it still made her feel a little panicky whenever anyone got too close, especially a man.

Not every man was like Damien, she reminded herself. Ryan wasn’t a bully or a control freak…. or not so far as she knew. He had been warm and funny and full of good humour when she’d known him before and he didn’t appear to have changed, although she couldn’t be sure, could she? Damien had seemed very different in the beginning, before she had got to know him better and discovered what he was capable of.

Panic rose inside her and she had to breathe in and out before she could reply. Even then her voice sounded strained and she hated it. She didn’t want to be like this, didn’t want to be a victim, but that’s what she was. She had allowed Damien Blackwell to take over her life, to take control of her. It would be a long time before she found her true self again, if it ever happened.

‘She is. She’s a lot brighter today.’ Eve quickly typed in the few sentences that were all that were needed to update the file and saved it. Standing up, she came around the desk and had to pause yet again when she realised that she couldn’t get past Ryan without touching him. Even though she was over the worst of her fears, the thought of feeling his skin brush against hers made her breath catch. She could cope with touching the children, could even manage to touch another adult if the occasion warranted it, but the thought of touching Ryan made her tremble for some reason.

‘Hey, are you all right?’ He leant forward, his dark brown eyes filled with concern. ‘You’ve gone really pale. Do you feel faint?’

Eve struggled to get a grip. ‘I … I never had any breakfast,’ she murmured. Would she ever get over this fear completely, ever be able to enjoy a physical relationship again? She had tried everything, had had counselling, spoken to other victims of abuse, but the fear was so deeply rooted, the memories too clear: first the seemingly loving touch and then the violence …

‘Come on. I’ll treat you to lunch.’

Ryan put his hand under her arm to lead her to the door and Eve freaked out. She pushed him away.

‘Don’t touch me!’

He stepped back at once, his face set. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. Maybe you should go and get something to eat. You obviously need it.’

He spun round on his heel and stalked out of the door, making it clear that he was deeply offended. Eve sank down onto a chair, her whole body trembling as reaction set in. What a fool she was! Why on earth had she reacted that way? Now it would be all round the unit that she was unbalanced, unstable …

Only she doubted if Ryan would tell anyone what had happened. From what she remembered, he wasn’t like that. He had been kind and supportive when she had known him before and she wanted to believe that he hadn’t changed even if she had.

Eve took a deep breath, surprised by how important that idea was. Knowing that Ryan hadn’t changed made her feel better for some reason.

Ryan found it impossible to put what had happened out of his mind. All through afternoon ward rounds he found himself thinking about the way Eve had reacted when he had touched her. It wasn’t the usual response he received: most women were more than happy to have him touch them and a whole lot more. However, there had been genuine fear in Eve’s eyes and he could only put it down to one reason: had she been subjected to some sort of physical abuse?

The thought was more than he could stand and he knew that he had to find out the truth. If Eve had been in an abusive relationship, he wanted to help her. If he could. He sighed as he finished explaining to Rex Manning, their consultant, that he was hoping to discharge the patient they were examining the following day. Why on earth should Eve trust him, after all?

‘Good. This is what I like to see, my patients making rapid progress.’ Rex smiled charmingly at seven-year-old Alfie Hudson’s anxious parents. Alfie had been admitted with appendicitis, which had been successfully dealt with, and Rex was keen to enjoy the kudos even though it was Ryan who had performed the surgery. ‘An excellent result, wouldn’t you say, Mr and Mrs Hudson?’

Ryan grimaced as the young couple immediately showered Rex with praise. Although Rex was a bit of a diva, he was excellent at his job and Ryan was prepared to cut him a lot of slack because of it. He caught Eve’s eye and winked and, amazingly, she winked back. It was such a surprise after her earlier rejection that it felt as though he was floating on air as they proceeded to the next bed, and it was unnerving to realise that she could have this effect on him. Maybe he did want to help her, but he couldn’t afford to get too involved in her affairs.

He had his own agenda, things he needed to do, things that were too important to put off. He was the lucky one after all. He was still here, enjoying his life, doing what he wanted. His twin brother, Scott, hadn’t been so lucky. Scott hadn’t had time to make his mark on the world so he, Ryan, had to do it for him. The fact was that he didn’t have time to worry about Eve when he had so much else to focus on.

Ryan knew it was true. It was what he had decided after Scott had died so tragically when they were seventeen. He had sworn then that Scott wouldn’t be forgotten and he had worked towards that aim for all these years. It was thanks to his efforts that the money for over thirty portable defibrillators had been raised. They had been placed in shopping centres, swimming pools, sports arenas and the next step was to get them into schools.

No one should die as Scott had done because of a lack of equipment. No parents should have to go through the horror of losing a child as his parents had done. Ryan had set himself this task and he would carry it through to the bitter end, until he was too old to run another sponsored race or climb one more mountain. He didn’t have time for a relationship even if it were possible.

He glanced at Eve and felt his heart contract in alarm. He knew what he had to do, so why did it suddenly seem more important that he help Eve, turn her back into the warm and caring woman she had been?

CHAPTER TWO (#uec279540-4d5f-57b4-8107-8638c777805d)

IT WAS GONE seven before Eve left the hospital. Daisy Martin’s parents had asked to speak to her and she had spent some time reassuring them. One of the worst things about sickle cell anaemia was that nobody could predict when a crisis would occur. It made it even more stressful for Daisy’s parents.

Evening visiting was under way as she walked through the main doors. She was renting a flat close to the river and she decided to walk home rather than wait for the bus, which would be packed. It was a warm evening, the sun just sliding below the surrounding hills.

Originally, Dalverston had been a sleepy little market town straddling the borders of Lancashire and Cumbria. Although it had expanded in the past thirty years, it had retained its charm and attracted many visitors. With Easter just a week away, there were a lot of tourists in the area and Eve had to wait until the lights changed before she could cross the road. She had always lived in the city before and had wondered if she would adapt to a more rural way of life but it had turned out better than she had expected. She felt safe here, safe and secure, and that was something she valued more than anything.

She reached the footpath leading down to the river and decided to take a short cut. It was quicker this way and she wanted to get home as soon as possible. It had been a difficult day and it would be a relief to go in and shut the door on the world, although she wasn’t foolish enough to think she could forget what had happened. She had overreacted when Ryan had touched her and she knew that he must be wondering why she had behaved so oddly. Would he ask her or would he let it pass? It all depended how interested he was in her, she decided.

The thought sent a shiver down her spine and she quickened her pace. She couldn’t bear the thought of Ryan finding out what had happened. She felt ashamed enough without people knowing how stupid she had been. She had allowed Damien Blackwell to rule her life because she’d thought he had loved her, but it hadn’t been love; it had been something far more destructive. It had taken her a while to realise it and when she had, she’d also realised that she could never trust her own judgement again. She had been taken in once and it could happen a second time.

That bleak thought kept her company as she made her way along the path. It was so peaceful away from the traffic that she felt herself start to relax for the first time since her encounter with Ryan. She had overreacted and she really should apologise, but what could she say? That the thought of any man laying his hands on her filled her with horror? That would only give rise to more questions and that was the last thing she wanted. Something told her that she would find it harder to withhold the truth from Ryan than from anyone else.

Ryan felt too restless to spend the evening watching television. What had happened with Eve had continued to trouble him and he found that he couldn’t put it out of his mind. He was more convinced than ever that something awful had happened to her and the thought plagued him. Eve had been so sweet and funny and it wasn’t right that she should have suffered in any way. He wanted to offer her his support, although he guessed that she would reject it. Eve didn’t want anything from him, as she had made clear.

In an effort to take his mind off the subject, he decided to go for a run. He was undertaking the Three Peaks Challenge to raise more funds in a few weeks’ time and he needed to step up his training. As soon as he got home, he changed into his running clothes and set off, taking the path that led along the riverbank. It was a mild evening, perfect for running, and he soon found himself unwinding. Maybe there was something he could do to help Eve, he mused. If he could just persuade her to trust him, it would be a start.

He rounded a bend and came to an abrupt halt when he almost cannoned right into Eve. ‘Sorry!’ he exclaimed, reaching out to steady her when she staggered. His hands gripped her forearms and he felt to the very second when surprise turned to something else. He quickly released her, trying to clamp down on the anger that rose inside him. Nobody should feel this scared, and especially not Eve!