Adam's Daughter

‘Spare me the sympathy. Now, are you coming or shall I go and find Hannah by myself?’

He didn’t wait for her to reply as he pushed open the door. Beth led the way, feeling sick with nerves because she still wasn’t sure how he was going to handle this meeting. Hannah had always been shy with strangers and she’d grown even more introverted since her mother had died. Although she seemed to have accepted the nurses and doctors with whom she came into daily contact, Beth knew how quickly the little girl could clam up with someone new. Would Adam understand that and make allowances?

Beth’s nerves felt as taut as violin strings as she led the way to Hannah’s bed. The staff had tried to make the ward as child-friendly as possible by covering the walls with posters and using colourful linen on the beds rather than the regulation hospital white. However, there was no escaping from the fact that the children in there were very sick.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Adam’s head turn as they passed one child after another. Most were hooked up to drips that were pumping potent cocktails of chemicals into their small bodies. All the children in the ward had cancer in one form or another and they were treated with a vast array of drugs.

Some were designed to destroy the cancerous cells, others to protect against infection, always a major concern. Then there were the transfusions of blood and platelets they all needed at regular intervals. It could be a little overwhelming to someone visiting the ward for the first time.

‘All these kids…’ Adam took a deep breath but she could see the pain in his eyes when he looked at her. ‘I never realised that there were so many children suffering like this.’

‘It does come as a shock, even when you work in medicine,’ she agreed softly. She caught sight of Hannah and waved, feeling her nerves tighten that little bit more when she felt Adam stiffen. Without stopping to think, she caught hold of his hand and squeezed it.

‘It will be fine, you’ll see. Just don’t worry if Hannah doesn’t say much to you. She’s very shy at first with strangers.’

He winced at that and Beth could have bitten her tongue for her lack of tact. Letting go of his hand, she quickly went to the child’s bed and bent down to kiss her.

‘Hello, darling. I’m sorry I’m late. It was really busy tonight at the surgery and I got held up.’

She ran her hand lightly over the child’s head, feeling the prickle of stubble under her fingers. Hannah’s hair had fallen out because of the drugs she had been receiving. It would grow again once she had completed her treatment, but Beth still grieved for the loss of the beautiful black curls because they had been a symbol of the fit and healthy child that her niece had been once upon a time.

Now as she turned to Adam and caught the fleeting expression of anguish on his face she knew that he was remembering the photograph she had shown him earlier. What a shock it must be for him to compare that child with the one in the bed. Unconsciously, her tone softened.

‘Adam, I’d like you to meet Hannah. Come and say hello to her.’

She stepped aside so that he could approach the bed. He moved slowly, smiling at the child as he bent down and took her thin little hand in his large one and gravely shook it.

‘Hello, Hannah. I hope you don’t mind me coming to see you. Aunty Beth told me all about you, you see, and I asked her if I could visit you.’

Beth felt a lump come to her throat when she heard the tenderness in his voice. She realised that she was holding her breath as she waited to see how Hannah would respond.

‘Are you and Aunty Beth friends?’ Hannah asked, staring up at him with huge, curious blue eyes, eyes that were exactly the same colour as Adam’s were.

‘That’s right, sweetheart.’ He gave the child another warm smile and, surprisingly, she smiled back.

‘That’s OK, then,’ she said with a worldly wisdom that made them both laugh.

Adam glanced at Beth and she saw the relief in his eyes and knew that he had been as worried as she had been about this first meeting. Realising it, it helped to allay her fears so that she found herself able to relax. Adam wouldn’t deliberately do anything that might harm her precious niece.

‘So, what did you do this afternoon, poppet?’ she asked, moving a chair closer to the bed so that she could sit down. She was very conscious of Adam standing behind her, his arms folded across his broad chest as he listened while the little girl related everything she had done since Beth had seen her at lunchtime. When he shifted slightly, she found herself jumping nervously and had to force herself to concentrate on what Hannah was saying.

‘What sort of a picture did you draw, Hannah?’ Adam asked after Hannah had finished telling them about the lessons she had done that afternoon. The children were in hospital for such a long time that they had a teacher who came each day to keep them up to date with their school work. Hannah had drawn a picture that day as part of her work.

‘I’ll show you if you like,’ the little girl offered shyly. ‘See.’

She picked up a piece of paper from her bedside locker and gave it to him to look at. Beth felt her pulse leap when he leant forward to take it from the child and his arm brushed hers. She had been so keyed up before that she hadn’t noticed that he’d changed out of the clothes he’d been wearing earlier. Now she found herself drinking in the sight of his lean muscular body clad in well-washed denim jeans and a faded black T-shirt. She couldn’t help thinking how good he looked in the casual outfit, so much better than Ian had ever looked in his expensive suits.

The thought surprised her but she quickly dismissed it. She glanced at the picture that Adam was holding and laughed when she saw what her niece had drawn.

‘Is that what I think it is, young lady?’ she teased, pointing to a spot in the bottom right-hand corner of the drawing.

Adam raised his brows when Hannah giggled. ‘What’s the joke? Come on, don’t be meanies—tell me what’s so funny.’

Beth smiled as she looked at her niece. ‘This little madam keeps hinting that she wants a dog for her birthday and she doesn’t miss any opportunity to remind me about it. Every time she draws a picture she manages to sneak a dog into it somewhere!’

Adam chuckled when she pointed to a strange-looking creature in the corner of the picture. It was obvious that he hadn’t realised what it was meant to be but he tactfully didn’t say so. ‘Ah, I see. It looks like it could be a Labrador to me. When is your birthday, Hannah?’

‘Next month. I’ll be seven,’ Hannah informed him importantly.

Beth saw his face cloud over and hurriedly cut in. She knew that he must be thinking about all the years that he’d missed. ‘If anyone in the ward has a birthday the nurses give them a party. I expect they’ll give you one, too, poppet. Won’t that be fun?’

‘S’pose so,’ the child agreed wistfully. ‘But it won’t be as much fun as last year when Mummy gave me a party and all my friends from school came.’

Beth bit back a sigh because there was little she could say to contradict that. Fortunately, Rose Johnson, one of the staff nurses on the ward, came to check Hannah’s drip just then so the child was distracted.

‘That’s fine,’ Rose said when she had finished. Beth had met Rose when they’d done their training together and they had been firm friends ever since. She suspected that there had been an ulterior motive as to why Rose had chosen to check the drip at that precise moment, and she was proved right when her friend looked pointedly at Adam.

‘I see that you’ve got another visitor tonight, Hannah. Aren’t you going to introduce me?’

‘This is Adam and he’s a friend of Aunty Beth’s,’ the child explained, and for some reason Beth found herself blushing.

‘Is he indeed?’ Rose treated Beth to an old-fashioned look before she turned to smile at Adam. ‘Nice to meet you, Adam. Will we be seeing more of you around here in the future?’

Beth glared at her friend but Rose pretended not to notice. Fortunately, Adam seemed unaware of any undercurrents. ‘You can be sure of it,’ he replied evenly. ‘I shall be a regular visitor from now on.’

Rose’s brows rose. ‘Really? Well, I’ll look forward to seeing you again, then.’

Beth glared at her friend as Rose turned to leave but all she got in return was a smug smile. She sighed as she watched Rose making her way down the ward. She’d bet a pound to a penny that she knew what her friend was thinking, but Rose was wrong! Adam might have gone along with Hannah’s innocent introduction but did he really see himself as her friend? Could he ever be that when he blamed her as much as he blamed Claire for keeping the child’s existence a secret?

It was an oddly painful thought and Beth found it difficult to put it out of her mind while she chatted to Hannah. When she noticed that the child was beginning to tire, she stood up, glad to be able to bring the visit to an end. Introducing Adam to Hannah was bound to have been difficult for all of them but things should get easier from now on, she assured herself.

‘It’s time you were asleep, sweetheart. I’ll see you tomorrow.’ She bent and kissed the little girl. ‘Night-night, sleep tight. Mind the bed bugs—’

‘Don’t bite,’ Hannah finished for her, yawning widely. Her lids were already starting to droop as Beth moved away from the bed but they suddenly shot up as she looked at Adam. ‘Will you come to see me tomorrow as well, Adam?’

‘Of course I will.’ He stepped forward and after the tiniest hesitation brushed the child’s pale cheek with his lips. ‘Goodnight, Hannah. Sweet dreams.’

‘Night-night, Adam.’

Hannah’s eyes had closed before they were halfway down the ward. Adam paused by the door to look back and Beth could tell what an effort it cost him to contain his feelings.

‘She’s so tiny and frail, isn’t she? She looks as though a puff of wind would blow her away,’ he said thickly.

‘She’s stronger than you think, a real little fighter. The fact that she’s got this far is a measure of her spirit,’ she told him softly, knowing what he must be going through.

‘She still has a long way to go, though. Even if she has this bone-marrow transplant there are no guarantees that she will pull through.’

Beth heard the pain in his voice and wanted with all her heart to reassure him, but it would have been wrong to lie.