In His Loving Care

‘The dog.’ Ben Harmon put his hand on the German shepherd’s head. The animal responded immediately, looking up at him with adoring eyes, and Lewis felt even worse.

Helen most certainly wouldn’t look at him like that in the foreseeable future! In fact, he wouldn’t be surprised if she told him that he no longer had a job when they left the farm. The thought of the disruption it would cause to Kristy’s life if they had to move again was more than he could face and he silently cursed himself.

‘It was Polly’s barking that alerted everyone, you see.’

‘Really?’ He forced himself to concentrate on what the farmer was saying. ‘It’s a good job she was with you.’

‘You can say that again. I’d have had it if Dad hadn’t heard the commotion Polly was making and come to see what was going on. I’d passed out by then, overcome by the fumes from those containers. Dad managed to drag me out of the way and phoned the surgery.’

Ben glanced at Helen and chuckled. ‘Dr Daniels soon got me sorted out. She drove me to hospital and rushed me straight through to the emergency unit. It’s all a bit hazy but I remember the fuss she made when some young doctor foolishly tried to stop her. Folk round here know better than to get in her way when she’s on a mission!’

Lewis joined in when Ben laughed but his spirits had sunk to an all-time low. Obviously, Helen was highly regarded in the town because of her dedication, yet he’d had the nerve to criticise her. Taking a pair of gloves out of his case, he mentally rehearsed what he would say to her later if she gave him the chance to apologise. Even though he stood by what he’d said about the way she ran the practice, maybe it hadn’t been his place to point it out.

‘I’d like to take a look at your arms,’ he explained. ‘I see from your notes that the district nurse has been to visit you but I’d like to check how they’re healing.’

‘It’s taken a bit of time to get this far,’ Ben admitted as Lewis gently peeled away the dressings. ‘The doctor I saw at the hospital wasn’t sure if there’d been some other chemicals mixed in with the chromium, possibly some kind of acid.’

‘They look very much like acid burns to me.’ He glanced at Helen, doing his best to slip back into his old persona. The cool, efficient surgeon was a role he’d played for many years and he sensed that she would respond better if he adopted it again. It was when she thought he was getting too close that the problems began.

The thought stunned him. It had never occurred to him before that Helen’s prickliness might stem from her feelings towards him. He had to make a conscious effort to continue. ‘What do you think, Helen? Do they look like acid burns to you?’

‘Very much so. There was a similar incident a couple of years ago when another drum of chemicals was found in a ditch. One of the boys who found it was badly burnt when the acid leaked onto his feet.’

Her tone was professional to a fault and he breathed a sigh of relief. Of course she would feel duty bound to respond in front of a patient but at least she was speaking to him, and that was something.

‘Did the consultant at the hospital suggest plastic surgery?’ he asked, turning to the farmer again.

‘He did, although I’m not sure if I fancy the idea.’ Ben grimaced. ‘He said something about taking skin from my thighs to cover the burns, but that would mean I’d have two lots of scars instead of just one.’

‘The plastic surgeons are very good so any scarring on your legs would be hardly noticeable. But it’s your decision so don’t let yourself be talked into it if it isn’t what you want. The flesh is healing so I’d guess the consultant suggested it for cosmetic reasons.’

‘It would be all right if I refused, then?’ Ben looked a bit sheepish. ‘I’m hopeless when it comes to anyone in authority. I never stand up for myself and say what I want. I just go along with whatever they suggest.’

‘Of course you can refuse!’ Lewis patted him on the shoulder. ‘Every patient has the right to refuse treatment so don’t let yourself be railroaded into doing something you aren’t happy about.’

‘Well, if you think it would be all right, I’ ll tell the doctor that I’d rather not bother.’ Ben sounded relieved. ‘I don’t want to be laid up any longer than necessary when it means my dad has to do all the work. You get a lot of knocks when you’re farming so a few extra scars aren’t going to make much difference to me!’

‘That’s one way to look at it.’ Lewis laughed. ‘Right, I think that’s it…Unless there’s anything you want to check, Helen,’ he added politely.

‘No. Everything seems to be progressing very nicely from what I’ve seen today.’ She smiled at the young farmer. ‘Don’t forget that you can ring me any time, Ben. You have my home phone number so you don’t need to go through the on-call service if it’s after surgery hours.’

‘Thanks, Dr Daniels. I really appreciate that.’

Ben saw them out, putting a restraining hand on the dog’s head when it tried to follow them to the car. Lewis fastened his seat belt, taking care not to look at Helen as she got in beside him. He couldn’t believe what he’d heard. Helen handed out her private phone number and told patients to call her at home rather than use the on-call service?

He sat in silence as they drove back to town. The situation was far worse than he’d imagined it to be, yet what could he do about it? By the time they arrived back at the surgery, he was seething with frustration. Stalking into his room, he tossed his case onto the desk with a thud that reverberated around the room. Amy happened to be passing and she stopped.

‘Everything OK, Lewis?’

‘Fine,’ he snapped, then sighed when he saw her start of surprise. ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’m just so bloody furious with Helen. She must be mad!’

‘Not a word I’d normally use to describe her,’ Amy said wryly, coming into the room. ‘Come on, tell me what’s happened now.’

‘I just found out that Helen has been telling patients to phone her at home if they have a problem outside surgery hours.’

‘Really?’ Amy whistled. ‘She’s kept that very quiet because I had no idea. Oh, I know she wasn’t keen on hiring an on-call service. It took us months to convince her that she couldn’t keep going out to visit patients every night and still do her job during the day. But I honestly thought she’d accepted the idea by now.’

‘It didn’t sound like it from what I heard.’ He thrust an impatient hand through his hair, wondering why he was getting so steamed up. It was up to Helen what she did, yet he couldn’t accept that it was none of his business when she was in serious danger of running herself into the ground. ‘How long have you been using an on-call service?’

‘About a year. Ian refused to use one when he was alive and I think that was why we had such difficulty persuading Helen to sign up.’ Amy shrugged. ‘It’s the old story, I’m afraid—what Ian decided is still law around here.’

‘But can’t she see that it’s time she moved on?’ he exploded. He swung round and walked to the window so that Amy couldn’t see how frustrated he felt. He didn’t want her to start wondering why he was so concerned about Helen’s working habits when he couldn’t explain it himself. He just knew it was wrong for her to be living this way.

‘I know it must have been awful for her to be widowed so young,’ he said over his shoulder. ‘But it’s time she got over it. And clinging to her dead husband’s beliefs isn’t the way to do it.’

‘Lewis,’ Amy said anxiously, but he ignored her, needing to vent the frustration that had been building up inside him all day.

‘She seems to be stuck in some sort of a time warp. That’s why we’re using such an outdated appointment system. It’s as though the world stopped when her husband died, but she needs to understand that it’s time she moved on!’

He glanced round, wondering if he’d said too much, and felt a jolt of alarm hit him when he saw how embarrassed Amy looked. Maybe his remarks had been a little too revealing?

A movement by the door attracted his attention and he turned. Helen was standing outside the room and he knew immediately that she’d heard every word. Her eyes met his for a second and his heart sank when he saw the pain they held. However, before he could attempt to make amends, she hurried away.

‘Oh, dear!’

Amy looked really upset as she quickly left the room. Lewis sympathised with her. He felt dreadful, too. He had just taken everything that Helen held dear and rubbished it. He didn’t think he would ever get over the way she’d looked at him just now—so wounded and betrayed.

He sat down at his desk and put his head in his hands. What had he done?

Helen went straight to her room. There was a buzzing in her head and her legs were trembling. Walking over to the handbasin, she sluiced her face with cold water but the feelings didn’t subside.

She sat down at her desk, wondering what she was going to do. She had to do something, of course. She couldn’t let Lewis get away with what he’d said. She had to make him understand that he was wrong about her…

Only he wasn’t.

She had been stuck in a time warp since Ian had died. She’d been clinging to the past because the future terrified her. What did she have to look forward to? She was a widow of thirty-eight with two grown-up stepchildren and a demanding job.

That was it. There was nothing more, nothing for herself, the woman she was inside, a woman who once had dreamed of having a child of her own and someone to love her for all eternity. Lewis was right—she did devote every waking minute to her job. But what else did she have?

‘I’m sorry you overheard that. I had no right to say what I did and I certainly had no right to involve Amy. Those were my views and they had nothing whatsoever to do with her.’

Helen’s head shot up when she recognised Lewis’s voice. All the fear and frustration she was feeling suddenly seemed to combine into one potent force and she rounded on him.

‘It’s customary to knock before you enter a room. Or don’t you believe the rules which most civilised people live by apply to you, Dr Cole?’

‘I did knock. Obviously, you didn’t hear me.’

He came over to her desk and there was something in his eyes that made her anger suddenly pale in the face of all the other emotions she was experiencing. She didn’t want him looking at her as though he cared. She couldn’t afford to let herself believe that he was interested in her. The only thing he was interested in was getting his own way!