Nurse In A Million

‘For Hansen’s disease.’ He smiled pleasantly as he offered the other man his hand. He had no intention of letting her see that her coolness had upset him. ‘Michael Rafferty. I’m delighted to meet you, Dr Khan.’

‘The pleasure is all mine, Dr Rafferty, I assure you,’ the man replied warmly as they shook hands. ‘I’ve heard a lot about your work for Worlds Together. You and your team do an excellent job, if I may say so.’

‘Thank you. However, we wouldn’t be able to do our job half as successfully if we didn’t have the right drugs available to us. The work you do in your own field is every bit as important.’

‘Thank you.’ Dr Kahn graciously accepted the compliment then turned to Natalie again. ‘Would you and Dr Rafferty care to see the results of our most recent trials?’

‘That would be wonderful, Sanjay. Thank you.’

Once again the man was treated to a megawatt smile but this time Rafferty was prepared for it. He followed them from the office, wondering if she was doing it deliberately to make him feel bad. He couldn’t blame her if she was, because she had every right to be annoyed with him. He made up his mind that he would set her straight as soon as he got her on her own but it proved to be far more difficult than he’d anticipated.

They stayed over an hour in the lab and when they got back to her office, there was someone from the accounts department waiting to see her. Rafferty listened with mounting impatience while they discussed the quarterly figures. It was double Dutch to him, although Natalie seemed to understand what was being said, and her grasp of the complexities of the business surprised him. He found himself pondering on it as the meeting with the accountant was followed by one with the head of marketing. Once again she asked pertinent questions and he could tell from the responses she received that her opinion was valued highly.

It forced him to re-evaluate his opinion of what she’d been doing recently. She hadn’t been wasting her time, as he’d assumed. She’d been making a positive contribution to the running of the company. It made him see just how difficult it was going to be to persuade her to give up the job so that by the time they broke for lunch, he was in a quandary. However, uppermost on his mind was the need to sort out the misunderstanding that had arisen that morning. It was because he loved her that he’d stuck to his principles, not the other way round, as she believed, so as soon as they were alone, he got straight to the point.

‘I need to talk to you about what happened earlier today. Perhaps we could go out for lunch while we discuss it?’

‘I’m sorry but I’ve already made plans,’ she said coolly, taking her jacket off the back of her chair. She was wearing a black trouser suit that day and he couldn’t help thinking how elegant she looked. He was more used to seeing her in jeans and T-shirt, or scrubs after a stint in Theatre, so the contrast couldn’t have been more marked. And all of a sudden he found himself beset by doubts once again.

Was it right to try and win her back when he could never give her the kind of life she was used to? He earned a good salary so they certainly wouldn’t starve, but it wasn’t just the money, of course. There were other considerations which he’d barely touched on because it was too painful to think about his past. He’d worked hard to hide his insecurities, had papered over the cracks with a layer of sophistication which fooled most people, but he knew his own shortcomings better than anyone else did. He might appear to the world as someone who was in charge of his life but it had been a hard battle to reach this point and it had left many scars.

He’d told Natalie very little about his childhood. He’d skirted around it by explaining that his parents were dead and she—not wanting to upset him—hadn’t probed. She had no idea that he’d been brought up in care or that he had no recollection of the mother who had given him away as a toddler. She could have no conception of the kind of life he’d led, being shunted from one foster-home to another, because she’d always had family, friends, roots—all the things he lacked.

Everything he had today he’d earned. Everything he was he’d taught himself to be. He was proud of what he’d achieved but his life was so far removed from hers that they had no common ground, nothing to provide a solid basis for their relationship. Yes, he loved her and, yes, he wanted her, but was it enough to make up for the rest? The fact that he couldn’t answer that question with any degree of certainty was what made him hold back.

‘It doesn’t matter, then. What time’s the meeting this afternoon?’

His tone was cool and gave no hint that it felt as though his guts were being ripped apart. If even he wasn’t sure that he was the right man for her then what point would there be in trying to win her back? It might be better if he accepted that the distance between them was just too great and let her get on with her life. Without him.

‘Two o’clock in the boardroom.’ She took a folder off her desk and handed it to him and he steeled himself when he saw the concern in her eyes. ‘Are you feeling all right, Rafferty? You look a little…stressed.’

‘I’m fine.’ He summoned a smile because if he confessed his fears, she would only tell him they didn’t matter, and he couldn’t afford to be swayed by her compassion. He needed to think about what he was doing and the consequences it could have. ‘I’m probably suffering from an overdose of facts and figures. I don’t know how you stand the boredom, Natalie, really I don’t.’

Her face closed up as she picked up her bag. ‘Each to his own, as they say. I’ll see you later.’

She stalked past him with her head held high and Rafferty sighed. He certainly hadn’t endeared himself to her with that crass remark and it hurt to know that she must think he was an insensitive clod, but what else could he have done? He needed to be sure that what he was doing was right. For her, not him.

He took the file over to the window and sat down. Even though he’d been forced to amend his opinion of the work she’d been doing recently, it didn’t alter the fact that he still believed she should return to nursing. Nursing had always been more than just a job to her and he understood how passionately she felt about it because he felt the same way about what he did. Even if he achieved nothing else, he would make her see how important it was that she return to the career she loved.

Opening the file, he settled back in the chair. He was going to complete this challenge she’d set him and come through it with flying colours.

What was wrong with Rafferty?

On her way to the clinic that night, Natalie found herself thinking back over what had happened that afternoon. She’d been dreading the board meeting after those comments Rafferty had made and, in the event, it had been every bit as bad as she’d feared. Things had started out well enough: Rafferty had been at his most urbane when she’d introduced him to the rest of the board members. However, once the meeting had got under way, the situation had quickly deteriorated.

She sighed as she recalled Rafferty’s response when one of the members who was most strongly opposed to Palmer’s continuing support of its charitable ventures had voiced his opinion during the meeting. Before she’d had time to formulate a carefully worded reply, Rafferty had stepped in. He had been little short of rude as he’d told the man how many lives Worlds Together had saved and had then asked him if he thought he was getting value for money. What was the going rate for a human life? he’d demanded witheringly. One pound? Ten? A hundred?

Natalie had done her best to rescue the situation because making the other man look like a fool in front of his colleagues certainly wouldn’t help her achieve what she wanted. She’d made an enemy that day because the fight had become personal now, and she couldn’t understand why Rafferty had taken it to such extremes. Surely he could have got across his point with a little more diplomacy? Instead of which he’d gone straight for the jugular, attacking his opponent with a ruthlessness that had surprised her. It made her see that there was a lot she didn’t know about him and it was worrying to admit it. She loved him with the whole of her heart, but how well did she really know him?

The taxi drew up outside the clinic and she was forced to cut short her musings as she paid the driver and got out. It was just gone seven and there were only a couple of patients in the waiting area when she went in. Piers Dutton, one of their junior doctors, was working that night and he grinned when she went through to the treatment room.

‘Ah, I’m glad to see you’ve decided to relax the dress code, Nat. I was really worried when Sam told me that evening dress was now de rigueur for the staff. I’m still paying back my student loans and it would be a bit of a bind if I had to fork out for a dinner suit. Still, I didn’t want to let the side down so I made a special effort just for you.’

He whipped off his sweatshirt to reveal an old-fashioned false shirtfront complete with bow-tie and studs. ‘My grandfather let me borrow this especially for the occasion. What do you think?’

‘Oh, ha-ha, very funny!’ she retorted. Piers was in his second year as a house officer at St Bart’s and an inveterate joker. They’d all been subjected to his pranks at one time or another and obviously it was her turn that night.

‘We aim to please,’ he responded, laughing.

Helen suddenly appeared from one of the cubicles and rolled her eyes when she saw what was going on. ‘No wonder folk find it hard to believe he’s a proper doctor. He acts more like a ten-year-old most of the time!’