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His Comfort and Joy

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2019
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The woman looked up.

Please don’t be cruel, Joy thought. Let me down softly.

“These are wonderful,” the woman said, glancing back to the sketches. “You have an old-fashioned approach, particularly in the bodices, but the total effect comes across as fresh. Your color combinations are vivid and the elegance of line is…masterful.”

Joy went a little dizzy.

Cassandra smiled and looked across the table with open, friendly eyes. “You’re quite good. Perhaps better than good. Where did you go to school?”

“UVM.”

“I didn’t know they had a design program.”

“I majored in business.”

The redhead frowned. “Then who taught you this?”

“Well…I suppose my grandmother’s ballgowns and day suits from the fifties. She wore Mainboucher, St. Laurent. Chanel, of course. I’ve deconstructed all of her clothes. Taken them apart, laid them out panel by panel, studied how the structure of the garment was created in the seams and the folds and the gathers. Then I’ve stitched them back together. She wears them still. She’s—she’s ill, and if she doesn’t look her best, the dementia gets worse. We can’t afford new ones of the quality she once had so I just learned how to patch and preserve. In the process, I guess I got an education.”

“How extraordinary.” There was respect and compassion in Cassandra’s voice.

Well, this was just terrible, Joy thought.

First the woman turns up on Gray’s arm. Then she turns out to be a nice person.

God, as petty as it was, it would somehow be easier to dislike the widow.

Frankie came down the stairs, flushed as if she’d been in an argument.

“I’m sorry, Cassandra. He’s not awake.”

“He doesn’t want to see me, you mean,” the woman said in a small voice.

“I’m so sorry.”

Cassandra shook her head. “I’m sure it’s too raw for him still. Thank you for trying.”

“He’s just…” Frankie’s mouth thinned. “He’s hardened so much, he won’t listen to anyone.”

“Don’t be angry with him. I’m sure he’s doing the best he can.”

“Yeah, well, he won’t heal if he doesn’t let people in.”

“That’s his choice.” Cassandra took a deep breath. “But I shouldn’t be telling you what to do about your own brother.”

“You’re the only one outside of the family who has any right to an opinion,” Frankie said quietly. “I know I said it last night, but I’m so sorry for…everything you lost.”

“Thank you.” Cassandra’s eyes closed briefly. And then as if she were pulling herself out of a spiral, she looked at the table. “These sketches are truly wonderful, Joy. You have a spectacular eye.”

After goodbyes were exchanged, Joy and Frankie stood in the kitchen doorway and watched the BMW go around the bend in the driveway.

“I really liked her,” Joy said, heading back to the kitchen table. Her papers were in an orderly pile now. After Cassandra had looked at them, the woman had been careful to gather the drawings together, stacking one on top of the other. As if they were art.

“She is lovely,” Frankie said. “And she liked your stuff.”

Joy rifled through her work, looking at the images with fresh eyes.

“What time is Tom picking you up?” Frankie asked.

“What? Oh, seven. And thanks for watching Grand-Em for me.”

“My pleasure. It’s been too long since you’ve been out of this house and Tom’s a—”

“Really nice guy. I know. You’ve told me that.” And Joy knew it too well.

“There’s nothing to be defensive about,” Frankie said gently. “What’s going on, Joy? Are you nervous?”

“No. Not really. Now let’s get you out of that dress, okay? I’m living in terror of the grass stains you may have gotten on the skirt.”

“Are you sure you’re not worried about tonight? It’s been a while since you’ve gone on a date.”

“Thanks for the reminder.” Joy winced at her sharp tone. Biting her sister’s head off wasn’t normally something she did, but being reminded that she was going to be alone with Tom made her feel raw.

Probably because he wasn’t the guy she wished she was having dinner with and she felt badly about that. And also because she couldn’t have the man she wanted.

Neither of which was her sister’s fault.

“Sorry. I take that back, Frankie.”

“It’s okay. I suppose I just want you to have what I found.”

Joy took her sister’s hand. “That’s because you’ve always sought the best for me and you’re totally in love with a great guy. But maybe that kind of thing’s not in store for me, you know? And if it isn’t, that’s okay. Come on. Out of that dress.”

But it wasn’t okay. Not really. Somehow going on a date with a nice guy she really should like made her feel lonely. But Frankie was right. Even if Tom wasn’t the man she was going to end up married to, Joy needed to get out of the house.

Although by the time six-thirty rolled around, she almost had to cancel. Grand-Em was all worked up because she’d misplaced her first edition copy of Jane Eyre. The trouble was, she’d lost the book in 1963 while traveling abroad. Frankie insisted on handling the crisis so Joy could get ready and all was eventually calmed when Grand-Em took to reading the operating instructions for the new backup generator they’d bought.

The relief Joy felt when it looked as if she might have an out seemed like an insult to Tom so she became determined to make an extra effort. While blow-drying her hair, she talked to herself about giving people a chance, seeing past the obvious, valuing the steady over the exciting and dangerous. She even tried to channel various fairy tales with happy endings. The trouble with that, though, was Gray kept showing up in the prince suit with the glass slipper in his hand.

When Tom’s pickup rambled up to the house, she went downstairs, said goodbye to Frankie and Nate, and headed outside.

Tom came around and opened the door for her. He was freshly showered, wearing a button-down shirt that was painfully free of wrinkles. His khakis were likewise right off the ironing board. He looked like a man who had taken special care with his clothes and was uncomfortable in them, either because of all the effort he’d gone to or because he wished he had better options.

“You know what I think we should do?” he said as he got behind the wheel. “There’s a concert in the square tonight. They’re serving barbecue. We could walk around, listen to the music, eat on the grass.”

“That’d be great.”

He put the truck in gear and looked across the seat at her. “You look really pretty, Joy.”
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