Oh-So-Sensible Secretary / Housekeeper's Happy-Ever-After: Oh-So-Sensible Secretary

I pinched the bridge of my nose between thumb and forefinger. I knew better than to ask what a galactic portal was.

‘That’s great, Mum,’ I said. ‘Look, I can’t really talk now—’

But she was already telling me about some ceremony she had taken part in the night before, that apparently involved much channelling of angels and merging of heart chakras.

‘Such a beautiful spiritual experience!’ she sighed. ‘So empowering! The energy vibrations now are quite extraordinary. Can’t you feel them?’

I resisted the urge to bang my head against my desk.

‘Er, no—no, I can’t just this moment,’ I said, aware that Phin was eavesdropping. I couldn’t imagine him caring about the fact that this was obviously a personal phone call, but I hoped he couldn’t hear anyway. My mother was deadly serious but, let’s face it, she could sound nuts.

‘That’s because you’re not open to the energy, darling,’ my mother told me reproachfully. ‘Have you been entering the crystal the way I showed you? You must let the love flow through your chakras.’

‘Yes, yes, I will,’ I said, one eye on the clock. After dragging all morning, it was suddenly whizzing round. If I wasn’t careful, I’d be late for Jonathan. ‘The thing is, Mum, I’m actually quite busy right now. Can I call you later?’

I’d finally managed to give her a mobile phone, which I paid for by direct debit. I knew she would never keep it topped up herself. My mother preferred spiritual forms of communication to the humdrum practicalities of paying phone bills or keeping track of credit.

‘That would be lovely, darling, but I’ll be seeing you soon,’ she said. ‘I’m coming to London, so we can talk properly then.’

Another time I would have been alarmed at her casual mention of a London visit, but I was desperate to get her off the phone before my meeting with Jonathan.

‘That’s great,’ I said instead. ‘Bye, then, Mum.’

I caught Phin’s eye as I put the phone down. ‘That was my mother,’ I said unnecessarily.

‘Is everything OK?’

‘Oh, yes, fine,’ I said airily. ‘A new galactic portal is opening. You know how it is.’

‘Blimey.’ Phin sounded impressed. ‘Is that good or bad?’

‘I’ve no idea. Whatever it is, it seems to be keeping my mother busy.’ I glanced at the clock again. Twelve-fourteen. I should think about getting ready.

I gathered my papers into a file and stood up. Only sixteen minutes and I’d be alone with Jonathan for the first time in weeks. I couldn’t wait.

Edging round the desk, I opened my mouth to tell Phin that I was going to a meeting, but before I could make my escape I saw consternation on his face as he looked over my shoulder. I turned to see Jewel Stevens framed in the doorway.

To say that she came in wouldn’t do her justice. You could tell that she was an actress. I felt that there should have been a fanfare—or possibly the theme tune from Jaws—as she waited until all eyes were on her before making her entrance.

‘Hi, baby,’ she cooed, her sultry brown eyes on Phin. I was fairly sure that she hadn’t registered my existence.

‘Jewel!’ The appalled expression I had glimpsed had vanished, and he was once more Mr Charm. ‘What are you doing here?’

She pouted at him, sweeping a glance up from under impossibly long lashes. ‘I just wanted to make sure you weren’t too cross with me after this morning.’

‘No, no,’ said Phin easily. ‘I never liked that dinner service anyway.’

Jewel laughed, delighted at her own power, and then her voice dropped seductively. ‘I came to make it up to you. To see if you missed me after last night.’

You had to hand it to her. Completely ignoring my presence, she wound her arms around his neck and kissed him on the mouth. And I don’t mean a casual peck. I mean a full-on passionate kiss with tongues—well, I assume with tongues. It certainly looked that kind of kiss.

Anyway, by the time she had finished she was plastered all over him and twirling her tongue in his ear. Yuck. I can’t bear anyone touching my ears—I’m funny like that—and it made me queasy just looking at her. Just as well I hadn’t had my lunch yet.

I averted my gaze. No wonder Phin was looking tired this morning!

‘What say we go back to my place?’ Jewel was saying huskily. ‘We can spend the afternoon together. Just wait until you see what I’ve got for you, tiger,’ she whispered suggestively in his ear, and then—and I swear I’m not making this up—she growled.

Oh, please. I rolled my eyes mentally, only to catch Phin’s gaze over her shoulder. He grimaced at me and mouthed an unmistakable Help!

I was half tempted to leave him to it, but there was such naked appeal in his eyes that I relented. ‘You haven’t forgotten your twelve-thirty meeting, have you?’ I asked clearly.

‘God, yes, I have!’ Phin sent me a grateful look as he disentangled himself from her—which took some doing, I can tell you. Managing to free a hand, he slapped his head. ‘I’m sorry, Jewel. I can’t.’

Jewel’s beautiful face darkened. ‘Do you have to go? Meetings aren’t important. What’s it about?’

Another agonised look at me. ‘You need to discuss PR strategy,’ I supplied obediently.

‘Yes, that’s right. PR. So I’m afraid it is important.’ Phin spread his hands disarmingly.

‘Then I’ll wait for you in your office.’ She was twining herself around him again. Honestly, the woman was like an octopus. Phin would just manage to prise one of her hands away and the other would already be sliding round him.

‘I think you’d get very bored, Jewel,’ he said. ‘It’s likely to be a long meeting. We’re going out to lunch. In fact, we’d better go—hadn’t we, Summer?’

I looked at the clock. ‘Definitely,’ I said, picking up the file. I didn’t care what he did with Jewel, but I was meeting Jonathan at twelve-thirty if it killed me.

Jewel’s beautiful sullen mouth was turned down. ‘When will you be finished?’

‘I’m not entirely sure,’ said Phin, steering her towards the door. ‘I’ll give you a ring, OK?’

Still pouting, Jewel insisted on another kiss before she would let him go. ‘See you later then, tiger.’ She smirked, and sashayed off towards the lifts.

There was silence in the office. I looked at Phin. ‘Tiger?’

He had the grace to squirm. ‘Believe me, Jewel’s the tiger. I’m the baby antelope here.’

‘I’m sure you fought madly.’

‘If I’d known what I was getting into I would have done,’ he said frankly. ‘I mean, she’s gorgeous, and I’ve got to admit I was flattered when she made a beeline for me, but she gives a whole new meaning to high-maintenance. Talk about a prima donna! I must have withdrawn my attention for about ten seconds this morning, while I made myself some toast, and my eardrums are still ringing! She was throwing plates at the walls—it was like Greek night down at the local kebab shop. I’m buying plastic ones next time. I never thought I’d say it, but it was a real relief to come into the office and find you as cool and calm as ever.’

I certainly hadn’t been feeling cool and calm, I thought, but could only be glad my fluttery nerves hadn’t shown.

‘Anyway, I owe you one,’ he said. ‘If you hadn’t rescued me I’d have been dragged back to her lair and spat out later, an empty husk of a man.’

‘Call it quits for the doughnuts,’ I said. I looked at my watch and my heart gave a lurch. Twelve twenty-five. ‘I’d better go.’

Phin peered round the doorway to check if Jewel was still waiting for the lift. Apparently she was, because he withdrew his head hastily. ‘I might as well come, too,’ he said.

I looked at him in dismay. I didn’t want him muscling in on my tête-à-tête with Jonathan! ‘I don’t think you’ll find it very interesting,’ I tried, but Phin was already hustling me down the corridor away from the lifts.