Loving Our Heroes

‘Lisa left me for another man who could give her more than I could. We got divorced. She’s married again and lives in the States now. End of story.’

‘Do you have any kids?’

‘Nope.’

Tilly sighed. ‘I was about to say that must make it easier because that’s what people always say when a relationship breaks down. At least there weren’t any children. As if it helps somehow,’ she remembered with a bitter edge to her voice. ‘When someone leaves you, it doesn’t hurt any less just because you haven’t got children.’

‘Sounds like you’re speaking from experience,’ Campbell commented.

‘I am.’

‘Well, you don’t need to feel sorry for me,’ he told her, ignoring the opportunity to say that he felt sorry for her, Tilly couldn’t help noting. ‘It was a disaster from the start. I should never have married her.’

‘Then why did you?’

He shrugged. ‘Why? Because Lisa was—is—the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. She’s absolutely dazzling. The moment I saw her, I had to have her.’

Tilly tried—and failed—to imagine a man ever saying that about her.

‘You must have loved her.’

‘Are you going to take your boots off?’ Campbell made it plain the conversation was over by getting to his feet.

Clearly not a man who believed in talking things through.

Resigned to the fact that she wasn’t going to get any more out of him, Tilly applied herself to the problem of actually getting into the tent. She was so tired that she was afraid that once she was in she would never get out again. Campbell had managed to make it look a perfectly simple business—he would—but she was reduced to kneeling down and then attempting an undignified dive inside between the entrance flaps.

Once in, she had to wriggle around until she was in a position where she could sit up and take off her boots—no easy task in itself. Campbell had set up a light near the entrance, which she had managed to knock over twice during her ungainly entrance, but at least it meant she could see what she was doing.

Pulling off the second boot with a gusty sigh of relief, Tilly collapsed back on to her sleeping bag and stared up at the weird shadows the light cast on the orange roof of the tent. She couldn’t remember ever being so tired, or so cold.

‘I don’t think I’ll ever be able to move again,’ she shouted out to Campbell, who had been to the nearby stream and boiled some water in the time it had taken her to sort herself out. ‘I’m going to have to spend the rest of my life here. They’ll find me in five thousand years, frozen like that prehistoric hunter guy in a glacier, and use my body to find out about twenty-first century society.’

Tilly rather liked the idea of scientists of the future poring over her body and speculating about her life. ‘They’ll decide I lived and worked up here, and that red salopettes were the height of fashion.’

Outside the tent, she could see Campbell shaking his head in disbelief. ‘You have the most extraordinary imagination,’ he said.

‘All that research,’ said Tilly, too carried away by her idea to care what he thought, ‘and none of them will know that I was only stuck up here because my loathsome brothers thought I should get out of my rut!

‘This is all their fault,’ she went on bitterly. ‘They’ll be sorry when I’m not there to cook for them and show them how to use the washing machine and be nice to their girlfriends! If only we hadn’t been so stupid, they’ll say to each other. What were we thinking? Dear Tilly could still be with us instead of stuck up on that mountain.’

‘Dear Tilly will be back with them by tomorrow night,’ said Campbell, unmoved by her story. ‘I’m not going to leave you here.’

‘You would if you thought you could win without me,’ said Tilly sulkily.

‘Fortunately for you, I can’t.’

Ducking into the tent, he handed her an enamel mug of black tea. ‘Have this to warm you up while I get the stew going.’

‘Warm? Warm? What’s warm?’ She shivered but took the tea gratefully. ‘The only trouble with stopping is realising how cold you are.’

Campbell tsk-tsked. ‘Stop complaining,’ he said ‘Have one of your fantasies instead—or, better still, do the video diary.’ He dug around in his rucksack for the camera.

‘Why do I have to do it?’ grumbled Tilly as he held it to the light so that he could see how it worked.’

‘Because you’ll be better at that than me.’

‘I won’t. I’d feel a complete idiot talking to a camera,’ she protested. ‘I wouldn’t know what to say.’

‘Just carry on wittering the way you’ve been doing all day,’ suggested Campbell with a touch of acid. ‘Tell them one of your fantasies—that should win a few votes!’

‘I’m not going to do that!’ She flopped back down on to the sleeping bag. ‘Why don’t we pretend we forgot about the video diary business?’

He shook his head firmly. ‘We can’t do that. The diary is part of the challenge.’ Propping the camera on top of his rucksack, he bent down to peer through it and check that it was pointing at Tilly. ‘You heard what Suzy said. We’re going to be judged on the video diary and film clips as well as on who gets back down from Ben Nuarrh first.’

‘If you care so much about winning, you do it,’ said Tilly crossly.

‘I’ve got to make the stew.’ Campbell moved the lamp so that the light fell on her. ‘Look, just talk for a minute and then it’s done. You don’t even have to get up. I promise I won’t listen, so you can be as horrible about me as you want.’

He pointed at a button on top of the camera. ‘I’ll set it going. Just press this when you’ve finished.’

‘Hang on!’ Tilly started to struggle up in protest, but he was already crawling out of the tent, leaving the red light beckoning encouragingly.

Tilly’s video diary:

[Staring at camera with a hunted look] Oh, God, I suppose I’ll have to say something … Um … [Long pause] OK, here I am, halfway up a Scottish mountain with a man I’d never met before this morning. It’s funny to think that this time last night I’d never even heard of Campbell, and now it seems as if I’ve known him for ever. And tonight we’re going to sleep together…well, not sleep together, except of course we will be sleeping … oh, you know what I mean. Can whoever’s watching this edit that bit out? [Yawns hugely] I’m so tired, I can’t think straight!

Where was I? Oh, yes, Campbell … Well, he was a terrible bully this morning. You should have seen him making me abseil down that cliff—two cliffs! Talk about competitive! And he’s not exactly chatty. I’ve never met a man who talks so little about himself, to be honest. His middle name must be Clam. Campbell the Clam Sanderson. [Giggles]

At least they’d never have to worry about him blabbing operational secrets. I bet he was in one of those special units, you know. No point in asking him, though. He’d just say he could tell me, but he’d have to kill me. He probably would, too. Still, I’m sure Suzy’s assistant is right. He’s got that steely-eyed thing going that’s quite exciting when he’s not pushing you down a cliff [Pauses, looks doubtful] Actually, could you cut that bit, too?

[Yawns again, belatedly covering mouth] Anyway, he wasn’t so bad this afternoon. In fact, he was really quite nice, especially the last few miles. [Pauses again, remembering] Yes, surprisingly nice. And now he’s making me supper. I’m not sure what this stew is going to be like, though. Dehydrated doesn’t sound very nice, but I’m so hungry I’ll eat it. I ought to offer to help, but I really don’t think I’ve got the energy to get out of the tent. [Slides out of view of camera] Perhaps if I just closed my eyes for a moment, and then I’ll go and give him a hand…

Campbell looked up from the pot he was stirring, suddenly alert. He could hear the wind whistling around the crags, the canvas flapping, the hiss of the gas, but when he listened, he realised there was something missing.

No Tilly. How long was it since he had heard her voice?

‘Tilly?’

He bent down to peer into the tent. She had crashed out over both sleeping bags, and appeared to have simply toppled from where she had been sitting talking to the camera and was sound asleep.

Shaking his head, Campbell turned off the camera.

Tilly was still fully dressed apart from her boots, and he contemplated her slumped form with a slight frown. How was he going to get her into her sleeping bag? He had no intention of undressing her, but she would be better off without her jacket. Its stiff fabric was digging into her face as it was. It would certainly be uncomfortable if she did wake up and, besides, she would need the jacket as an extra layer to put on in the morning.

‘Tilly?’ he tried again, but she was dead to the world and didn’t even stir when he lifted her up to pull her arms out of the sleeves and get rid of the jacket.

It was like dealing with a very large floppy doll, although he imagined dolls weren’t usually that warm and soft. Not having had even a sister, Campbell’s experience of dolls was negligible, but he was fairly sure they didn’t smell faintly of…what was it? He sniffed. Some flower. Roses, perhaps? He had never been very good on flowers but something about the fragrance of Tilly’s hair reminded him of his mother’s garden on a summer evening long ago.