British Bachelors: Gorgeous and Impossible: My Greek Island Fling / Back in the Lion's Den / We'll Always Have Paris

‘But what about you, Mark? What would help you to grieve for her?’

‘Me? I don’t know where to start. Sometimes I can’t believe that I won’t ever see her again or hear her voice. I don’t want to think about all the future events and special occasions in my life where there will be an empty chair with her name on it. And then there’s the guilt. That’s the toughest thing of all.’

‘Guilt? Why do you feel guilty?’

He closed his eyes. ‘Let me see. Never having time to spend with my own mother one-to-one because of the obligations I took on when Edmund died. Always cancelling lunch dates with my biggest fan at the very last minute or having to cut short telephone calls because of some business meeting. Oh, yes, and let’s not forget the big one. The reason she had plastic surgery in the first place.’

Mark lifted his head and looked directly at Lexi. She could see moisture glistening at the corners of his eyes, but was powerless to speak in the intensity of his gaze.

‘She told her friend that she was having the surgery because she didn’t want to let me down at my engagement party. She didn’t feel beautiful enough to stand next to me and my future bride’s aristocratic family. So she went to London on her own and went through surgery on her own. For me. Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous in your life?’

CHAPTER SEVEN (#ulink_46ced0d4-865a-569c-b5aa-ef1da3a6f4e5)

‘OH MARK,’ Lexi whispered in amazement. ‘Why do you think your mother felt that way? She was stunningly beautiful.’

Mark looked up as a flock of seabirds circled above their heads before flying over to the cliffs to nest. ‘Pressure. Competition from other actresses for work in TV and movies. Every time we met she talked about the disappointment of being turned down for the roles she really wanted to play.’ Mark sighed. ‘She couldn’t get work, and it was obvious she was finding it tougher and tougher to bounce back from each new rejection. Her agent gave up even trying to interest the movie studios. There was always another beautiful starlet just waiting to be discovered, and in the end it wore her down.’

‘But Crystal Leighton was still a big star. People loved her.’

‘Try telling that to the casting directors. The truth is she’d been desperately unhappy for a very long time and it showed. She’d lost her spark. Her vitality. Her joy. And it was there on her face for the world to see.’

‘So it wasn’t just about your engagement party, was it? That was just an excuse for having the work done. Please don’t feel guilty about something you have no control over. From what you tell me, it doesn’t sound like you would’ve been able to change her mind.’

Mark exhaled slowly and Lexi felt his breath on her face. She lifted her right hand and stroked his cheek with her fingertips as his eyes fluttered half-closed. ‘I didn’t realise you were engaged,’ she whispered, desperate to prolong the sensation of standing so close to him for as long as possible. Even if there was a fabulous fiancée waiting for him back in London.

‘There’s no reason why you should. It never happened. It’s over now,’ Mark replied, his brow furrowed and hard. ‘We’d known each other for years, we mixed in the same circles, and I think it just became something other people expected us to do. I never proposed and she didn’t expect me to. It was simply a convenient arrangement for both of us. We were friends, but I wasn’t in love with her. Two months ago she found someone she truly cares about, which is how it should be.’

‘Did your mother know you felt that way?’

‘I don’t know. We never talked about it. We don’t talk about things in our family. We skate over the surface for fear of falling into the deep icy water below. And all my father cared about was making sure there’d be another Belmont son to inherit the title.’

Mark shook his head, his mouth a firm narrow line. ‘I thought for a while that I wanted the same thing. That perhaps having a wife and a family might bring the Belmont family back together again. But it would only have made two more people miserable and led to an embarrassing divorce down the line. I can see that now.’

Lexi’s brain caught up with what Mark was saying and a cold hand gripped her heart in spite of the warm breeze. ‘You were prepared to do that?’ she asked, trying to keep the horror of his situation out of her voice and failing. ‘To marry a girl whom you didn’t love? Then have a baby with her to provide a son to inherit the estate?’

‘Oh, yes. The old rules are still in force. Even Cassie’s boys don’t stand a chance. Unless I persuade some poor girl to give me a son, the next Baron Belmont will be my least favourite cousin. And both of his boys are adopted, so they can’t inherit, either. So that’s it. Nine hundred years, father to son, and it all comes down to me.’

Lexi sucked in a breath and exhaled slowly. ‘How can you stand it? How can you live like that?’ she asked in a trembling voice. ‘Bringing a child into this world should be something for two people to celebrate—not an obligation you can tick off the list.’

And at least you’re able to have a son. Have you no idea how lucky you are?

Then she looked into Mark’s sad eyes and all of her fight drifted away. ‘Sorry. That was unfair. You have a duty to your family and they need you.’

His response was to rest his forehead against Lexi’s and take her hand in his, stretching out each of her fingers in turn, as though they were the most fascinating objects he’d ever seen.

‘Now do you understand why I’m struggling to finish her biography?’ he asked, his voice low and trembling. ‘People will expect my mother to have enjoyed a fabulous life full of fun and happiness and excitement. Movie stars like Crystal Leighton aren’t supposed to end up living a bitter, cold existence, racked with disappointment and low self-worth. With a son who was never there for her.’

He clasped both her hands between his and held them prisoner before asking the question Lexi had been dreading but had somehow known would come.

‘How will you write that story, Lexi? How do you tell that kind of truth without destroying my father and my family at the same time?’

‘That has to be your decision, Mark,’ she replied, in as low and calm a voice as she could manage. ‘I can tell you how to make this book a true celebration of her life. And I know that the dark and the shade only make the happy times seem brighter. That was a part of her life and you can’t avoid the truth.’

‘The truth? That’s a strange concept from someone who writes stories for a living. Let me tell you the truth,’ he murmured, his voice trembling with emotion. ‘The truth is that I need to get back to London. Away from the manor. I have to focus on the future and learn to live my own life, not a second-hand one—that’s precisely what she would want me to do.’

And then Mark released her fingers, pressed one hand to her cheek, tilted his head and, with the most feather-light touch, kissed her.

Lexi was so startled that she was rendered speechless. The pressure of his lips was so warm and soft that her eyelids fluttered closed and she almost leant forward for more—only to find him gone. And she immediately cursed herself for being so weak and foolish.

‘Thank you for listening. I can’t finish this book, Lexi. I can’t put my family through the pain.’ He took a step back and looked out over the cliffs to the wide blue ocean in front of them. ‘Sorry, Lexi. The biography is cancelled. I’m going to return the advance to my publisher. I can deal with the fallout with my family, and it’s better to do it now rather than later, in the full face of the media. Thank you for helping me to decide to move forward in my life, not backwards, but I don’t need your help any more. You can go back to London. Your work here is finished.’

Lexi fought to bring her heartbeat back to normal before stomping up to Mark, who was standing at the stone wall looking out towards the islands on the horizon.

‘Finished? Oh, no, you don’t, Mark Belmont.’

Mark turned back to face her, startled. ‘I beg your pardon?’

‘And so you should. Because right now it seems to me that you are running away from a challenge just at the point when it starts to get interesting.’

He smiled and shook his head. ‘I’ve already told you that you will get your fee. Don’t worry about it.’

She stepped forward, grabbed his arms and turned him sideways, so that he was not quite so scarily close to the edge of the precipice.

‘I’m really not getting through to you, am I?’ She rolled her eyes. ‘I refuse to let you walk away from the only chance you’ll ever have to put the record straight about Crystal Leighton. Yes, that’s right. I am not going anywhere. And neither are you. I’ve been hearing a lot about family obligations, but nothing about how the real Mark would choose to celebrate his mother’s life and work if left to himself.’

‘That option is not available. I don’t have a choice.’

Lexi clamped her hands over her ears. ‘Not listening. Of course you have choices. You’re the one who decides what to do with the life you’ve been given. So you’re going to be the next Baron Belmont? That’s amazing!’

She lowered her hands and smiled at him. ‘Think of all the good you can do in your position. Starting with celebrating the life of your wonderful mother.’

One more step pressed her against his chest. ‘Take the risk, Mark. Take this week out of your life and do the best you can. Because together I know we can create something stunning and true and authentic. But I need you on my team. Come on. Take the risk. You know you’ll always regret it if you don’t. And I never took you for a quitter.’ Her voice softened. ‘Do it out of love, not out of obligation. Who knows? You might actually enjoy it.’

His finger traced a line from her cheek to her neck and the tingles made her want to squirm.

‘One week?’ he whispered, his breath hot on her face.

‘One week.’ She play-thumped him on the chest. ‘Now. Where’s that lunch you promised me? I’ve been desperate for Greek salad for the last hour.’

It was a very silly hour of the morning when Lexi finally gave up tossing and turning, pulled her pillow from under her head and attempted to throw back the covers from her comfortable double bed.

Only she’d twisted so much that the fine cotton sheets had wrapped around her like an Egyptian mummy, and after a few minutes of kicking and elbowing her way free she knew what silkworms must feel like. She felt so hot that even the single sheet was a weight on her skin. The simple air-conditioning unit was trying its best, but with the double glazed windows closed the bedroom felt airless and stuffy. And so desperately, desperately quiet.

Somewhere in the house a clock was striking every quarter-hour with a musical chime, but apart from that comforting sound the house was completely silent—as though it was a sleeping giant waiting for some magical spell to be broken to bring him back to life.

It was such a total contrast to the background hubbub of the large international hotels she usually stayed in and the city noises that surrounded them.

Lexi tiptoed over to the balcony door and peeked out through the hand-worked lace curtain. Slowly and quietly sneaking open the door, she stepped outside, closing it behind her.