Emergency: Parents Needed

He thought for a minute. “Not quite two years ago.”

Maggie’s brow furrowed as if she were doing the math. “The timeframe fits.” From the doubt on her features, she didn’t believe his relationship with Dee had been based on friendship, not sex. Considering the child on her lap, if he wore her shoes, he wouldn’t either.

Circumstantial evidence, in his opinion. “I know this situation doesn’t show me in a favorable light, but Dee and I were only friends,” he insisted. “And she wasn’t the sort of woman to sleep around.”

“I’m not anyone’s judge and jury, Joe. You don’t owe me any explanations,” she said.

For reasons he didn’t understand, Maggie’s opinion mattered. Perhaps it was the way she looked at him. Perhaps it was because he was still trying to find his footing with her as his new partner and feeling as if he was failing miserably. Perhaps it was because he wanted to see respect in her eyes when she looked at him. Perhaps he was afraid that if he wasn’t completely honest and utterly transparent, she’d leave him to face this alone. Right now, that was too frightening a fate to consider.

“But the fact remains—and I’m not doubting you—Breanna could be yours.”

He shook his head. “We had sex once—once—and it was very early in our relationship.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You know the drill. It only takes a single swimmer to create a baby.”

“We were careful,” he insisted, not willing to believe their precautions had failed.

“If you say so,” she said agreeably, as if she were only humoring him. “And if that’s true—and I’m not saying it isn’t—then you believe Dee’s trying to foist someone else’s baby on you?”

“Yes. No.” He ran a hand through his hair. As close as they had become, it seemed out of character for Dee to have been secretly dating someone on a regular basis. If she hadn’t had a steady romantic interest, Breanna could have been the result of a one-night stand, in which case Dee might have been too embarrassed to admit it.

More importantly, though, after all the hours they’d spent talking about their shared histories, it seemed odd that she’d pass another man’s baby off on him when she’d known his decision about parenthood was unchangeable. “I don’t know. She never mentioned she was keeping company with anyone else, but that doesn’t mean she wasn’t.”

And yet, realizing that she’d hidden her pregnancy from him after they’d been so open with each other was a huge disappointment.

“Then I hate to tell you this, Donatelli, whether you want to believe it or not, you’re the logical suspect.”

Admittedly, he was, but there still had to be some mistake. Birth control was something he believed in wholeheartedly and he never took shortcuts or relied on the woman to assume responsibility. Because he didn’t think he could be too careful, he always controlled that aspect of his life. No exceptions. Ever.

“I asked the lawyer for a paternity test.”

“And?”

“He’ll make the arrangements and will let me know where to be and when.”

Her expression was inscrutable. “What happens in the meantime? DNA testing could take a few weeks.”

According to the lawyer, Joe was looking at a two-to-three-week wait, give or take, and that wasn’t counting the time to schedule an appointment. As this situation didn’t warrant immediate, overnight service, Dee’s attorney wasn’t in favor of rushing the process, so Joe guessed it would take three to four weeks from start to finish.

Four weeks to assume the monumental task of looking after Dee’s daughter. Four weeks to know the truth. Four weeks that seemed like an eternity.

“I’ll do the best I can,” he said honestly.

“And if you’re not her father?” She raised an eyebrow. “What then, Donatelli?”

Funny how he was learning that when she called him by his last name, she was exasperated with him. Hell, right now he was exasperated with himself and everyone else, especially with Dee for dumping him in this no-win situation.

“I should give her to someone who wants to be a parent,” he said, testing her reaction. “Someone who’s more capable and better suited to raise a child.”

“Who says you aren’t capable?”

“I do,” he said tersely.

“I see,” she said, although her expression held more curiosity and speculation than certainty. “Then why wait? Why not relinquish your legal responsibility now?”

Why not, indeed? The fact was, two very compelling reasons had prompted his wait-and-see decision. If Breanna was truly his, he’d be damned if he’d follow in his father’s footsteps and abandon her. Of course, that raised the question of what he’d do if she wasn’t his daughter. The answer would be easy, if not for one minor, yet mighty detail.

He exhaled slowly. “I made a promise.”

“I see.” She looked thoughtful. “How does the saying go? ‘Promises are made to be broken’?”

“Not mine,” he said firmly. He’d learned through bitter experience that a man’s word was the most valuable thing he owned. He couldn’t ignore that truth simply because it was convenient.

On the other hand, were verbal agreements valid when they were elicited without full disclosure? At the time, he would have sworn anything to keep Dee calm. Would he have been as quick to tell her what she’d wanted to hear if he’d known of Breanna’s existence, if he’d really known what he was pledging to do?

He’d obviously said the right words because a wide, approving smile stretched across Maggie’s face. “You’re a good man, Donatelli,” she said gruffly, “even if you don’t think you’re the best man for the job.”

“How can I be?” he asked. “I’m a single guy.”

“Lots of single parents, including men, raise kids.”

“I don’t have any idea how to take care of a baby, much less a little girl.”

“You’ll learn.”

He began to pace. “You don’t understand. I’m the last person a kid needs as a father figure. My own—” He cut himself off.

“Yes…?” she coaxed. “Your own…what?”

He didn’t want to explain and never felt the need to share the sordid tale. Dee was the only person who’d ever heard his story, but that had only been because she’d been a kindred spirit—a young woman who’d shared his experience. For his entire life, he’d placed that history into a small box he’d labeled “Keep Out” and stored it in the back of his memory while he’d gone to school and made a successful, rewarding career for himself. He’d built his life the way he wanted it and he was happy being a carefree, no-strings-attached bachelor.

At the same time, he knew Maggie would never understand his position if he didn’t explain. As soon as he did, she’d agree he wasn’t the best man for the job.

“My home life was dysfunctional, to say the least,” he said, omitting specifics. “My mother died when I was a baby and when I was five, my father disappeared, leaving me in foster care. By the time I was ten, I’d decided that parenting wasn’t in my future. I’m thirty years old and don’t have the first clue about dealing with a kid, much less a baby.”

To his surprise, Maggie didn’t gasp in horror, although he saw the sympathy in her eyes. “I’m sorry you didn’t grow up under ideal conditions,” she said softly, “but I know who you are today, Joe. I’ve seen you interact with children when we’ve worked accidents. You aren’t as incompetent as you think.”

“Handling a youngster during an emergency situation is different than in a day-to-day situation,” he added impatiently. “I don’t know the first thing about finding a sitter or a doctor. Then there’s formula and baby food, clothing sizes, and God only knows what else! What I know about a child’s daily needs would fit in a teaspoon.”

She shrugged. “Then you’ll learn. Do you think first time parents learn those things by osmosis, that it’s magically downloaded into their brains during delivery?”

OK, so maybe he could cope with the physical stuff like diapers and formula and clothing sizes, but the emotional aspect scared him spitless. How could he possibly give the love and support Breanna needed when he had nothing in his own experience to use as a pattern?

“I can’t screw up her life,” he said flatly.

“Giving up already?”

Her expression was inscrutable, but Joe sensed her disapproval. And if she disapproved of him breaking his promise, he could imagine the response he’d get from his superiors—quintessential family men—as well as the guys who worked alongside him in the trenches. None of them would understand; they’d only see the situation as one where he didn’t live up to the duties that a dead woman had given him, regardless of who had fathered her child. That was a big deal to men who safeguarded people and property at all costs.