Amish Homecoming

“So he didn’t want her to grow up with our ways?”

“It wasn’t that. It was more he couldn’t deny her anything she wanted.”

Seeing the grief in her eyes, he wondered if she was thinking of her brother or her niece or both of them. “Why isn’t Mandy with her mamm?”

“I don’t know where she is. After Johnny’s accident, Carleen spent more and more time away from the apartment. One day she was gone. She left a note saying that she couldn’t handle the situation any longer. She refused to marry Johnny because she wasn’t ready to settle down. She surely hadn’t expected to be tied down to an invalid.” Her voice grew taut. “Or tied down to a baby. She took the money we had, as well as everything that was hers, and vanished. We never heard from her again.”

“Does Mandy know?”

She shook her head. “Johnny and I shielded her from the truth. No kind should think she’s unwanted.” Squaring her shoulders, she said, “But Mandy isn’t unwanted. In spite of what she said, she knows I love her, and she’s already beginning to love her family here. She will adjust soon.”

“And what about you?”

She frowned at him. “What do you mean? I’m happy to be back home, and I don’t have much to adjust to other than the quiet at night. Philadelphia was noisy.”

“I wasn’t talking about that.” He hesitated, not sure how to say what he wanted without hurting her feelings.

“Oh.” Her smile returned, but it was unsteady. “You’re talking about us. We aren’t kinder any longer, Ezra. I’m sure we can be reasonable about this strange situation we find ourselves in,” she said in a tone that suggested she wasn’t as certain as she sounded. Uncertain of him or of herself?

“I agree.”

“We are neighbors again. We’re going to see each other regularly, but it’d be better if we keep any encounters to a minimum.” She faltered before hurrying on. “Who knows? We may even call each other friend again someday, but until then, it’d probably be for the best if you live your life and I live mine.” She backed away. “Speaking of that, I need to go and console Mandy.” Taking one step, she halted. “Danki for letting her name the cow. That made her happier than I’ve seen her since...”

She didn’t finish. She didn’t have to. His heart cramped as he thought of the sorrow haunting both Leah and Mandy. They had both lost someone very dear to them, the person Leah had once described to him as “the other half of myself.”

The very least he could do was agree to her request that was to everyone’s benefit. Even though he knew she was right, he also knew there was no way he could ignore Leah Beiler.

Yet, somehow, he needed to figure out how to do exactly that.

Chapter Four (#ulink_38172db2-8d8a-5b3f-8087-663661e91e5b)

As soon as she opened her eyes as the sun was rising, Leah heard the soft lilt of her mamm’s singing while she prepared the cold breakfast they ate each Sunday. It was the sound she had awakened to almost every day of her life until she went away with Johnny. It was only on rare occasions when Mamm was helping a neighbor or the few times she’d been too sick to get out of bed that her voice wasn’t the first thing Leah heard each morning.

Leah slid out from beneath the covers, taking care not to jostle Mandy. A nightmare had brought her running from the room across the hall. As one had every night since they arrived on the farm a week ago.

Maybe she should ask Mandy to share her room. She could bring in the small cot that was kept for when they had more guests than beds. It wasn’t the most comfortable cot, but she would let Mandy use the double bed where Leah had slept during her childhood. Leah suspected she’d get a better night’s sleep on the cot than being roused in the middle of the night by a frightened little girl who kicked and squirmed while she slept. Had Mandy always been restless, or was she bothered by her dreams even after she crawled into bed with Leah?

Going to the window where faint sunlight edged around the dark green shade, Leah looked out. The rain she’d heard during the night had left the grass sparkling at dawn as if stars had been strewn across the yard. She smiled when she noticed the barn door was open and the cows in the field.

Her hand clutched the molding around the window when she saw Daed emerge from the chicken coop. Like Johnny, he was not too tall, but very spare. The early light sparkled off silver in his hair and beard, silver that hadn’t been there years ago. When had he arrived home? It must have been very late, because she hadn’t heard a vehicle come up the farm lane.

She started to pray for the right words to speak when she came face-to-face with her daed for the first time in a decade. Her silent entreaty faltered when, instead of striding toward the house at his usual swift pace that made short work of any distance, he put one hand on the low roof while he placed the other on his brow. He stood like that for a long moment before looking at the house. His shoulders rose and fell in a sigh before he pushed himself away from the coop. With every step toward the house, his steps grew steadier and closer to the length of his normal stride.

Was her daed sick? Perhaps he had picked up some sort of bug at the auction. Or was it more serious?

Leah hurried to get dressed, making sure no speck of lint was visible on her black dress or cape. Settling her kapp on her hair that was pulled back in its proper bun, she stared at herself in the mirror over the dresser. She was not the girl who had left Paradise Springs, but she suddenly felt as young and unprepared for what awaited her as she had been that night.

Trying not to act like a naughty kind sneaking through the house, she went down the back stairs. She opened the door at the bottom and stepped into the kitchen.

Mamm wore her Sunday best and aimed a smile at Leah as she set the oatmeal muffins she had baked last night in the center of the kitchen table. At one end, Daed sat in his chair. There was a hint of grayness beneath his deep tan from years of working in the fields, and she could not help noticing how the fingers on his right hand trembled on the edge of the table.

Was he ill, or was he as nervous as she was?

She got her answer when he said in his no-nonsense voice, “Sit, Leah. We don’t want to be late for Sunday service.”

She obeyed, keeping her head down so neither he nor her mamm could see the tears burning her eyes.

“Is Mandy asleep?” asked Mamm gently as she took her chair at the foot of the table.

“Ja,” Leah answered. “She didn’t sleep well last night.” She glanced at her daed, who had remained silent save for his terse order.

What had she expected? For him to welcome her home as the daed had in the parable of the prodigal son? Daed wasn’t demonstrative. While Mamm spoke of how she loved her family, Daed had never uttered those words to his kinder. Yet, he had shown her in many ways that she was important. Her favorite had been when he asked her to ride into Paradise Springs with him so they could have special time together.

Be patient, she told herself. The words from James’s epistle filled her mind. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

As if she had repeated those words aloud, Daed bowed his head to signal the beginning of grace. Leah did the same. During the silent prayer, she asked God not only for patience but for Him to open Daed’s heart and let her back in. God’s help might be the only way that would happen.

When her daed cleared his throat to let them know grace was over, she looked at him again. He poured a hearty serving of corn flakes into his bowl, then handed the open box to her.

“Danki,” she murmured.

He did not reply but set several of the muffins on his plate. Again he passed the food to her.

“Danki,” she said more loudly.

Again he acted as if she had not spoken.

She bit her lower lip and handed the plate to her mamm without taking a single muffin. Her appetite was gone. Her daed clearly intended to act as if she were nothing but an unwelcome outsider who had invaded their family. It was almost like he had put her under the Meidung. She wasn’t actually being shunned, of course, because he was willing to sit at the table with her and he handed her the plates. However, he did not speak to her or look in her direction unless absolutely necessary. Silence settled around the table, and she had no idea how to break it.

She almost cheered with relief when footsteps pounded down the stairs. Mamm rose quickly when the door at the base opened and Mandy emerged, yawning and rubbing her eyes. She had dressed, but her hair hung down her back in a disheveled braid that she’d worn to bed.

“I need help with my hair,” Mandy announced.

“Ja.” Leah started to stand.

Mamm motioned for her to stay where she was. Taking Mandy by the hand, Mamm led her to the table and toward the end where Daed sat.

Mandy shot an uneasy glance at Leah. Even though she wished she could reassure her niece that everything was fine, Leah said nothing as she waited to see how her daed would act when meeting the granddaughter he hadn’t known he had. Again she noticed how his hand was shaking until he put his left one on top of it as he leaned forward.

“This is Grossdawdi Abram, Mandy,” Mamm said with a smile. “He has been eager to meet you.”

Mandy regarded him with hesitation, and Leah wondered if she was disconcerted by Daed’s long, thick beard. She had seen the little girl staring at other men who wore beards, especially those that reached to the middle of their chests. Even though Leah had explained many times during their years in Philadelphia about how the Amish dressed and why, Mandy seemed uneasy around the married men with their full beards.

Leah had tried to hide her own unsettled reaction when Mandy asked why Ezra was clean shaven. She had seemed startled that he wasn’t married. Leah had to admit that she was, too. His older brother and sister had wed years ago, and Isaiah, who was less than a year younger than Ezra, married last year. It probably wouldn’t be long before the others found spouses, including the youngest Stoltzfus, Esther. With his mamm already depending on Esther’s help, she couldn’t handle the household chores by herself. Ezra needed a wife, so why hadn’t he found one by now?

Telling herself that was a question best left unexplored, she watched as Mamm bent to whisper in Mandy’s ear. The little girl leaned forward and gave Daed a tentative kiss on the cheek. Leah held her breath, not sure how her daed would react.

She swallowed her shocked gasp when Daed lightly stroked Mandy’s cheek as he said, “You are as pretty as your grossmammi was when she was your age, ain’t so?”